I am in my 30's and married with 2 beuatiful kids. I have an excellent job with a bit of international travel and I have been married to my childhood sweet heart for just over ten years. I am very committed to my marriage and have resisted, despite various opportunities, mucking around with onyone.
My wife, a beautiful woman, who had not had many relationships (none sexual) before we were married is very much a 'home body'. After going through a bit of a rough patch recently (moving city due to my job and adjusting to a new foreign country) I had been encouraging her to go out a bit, even if I was not around, to build up her confidence and get her to meet some people. She is not a big drinker but normally knows her boundaries and sticks to them.
We have an good sexual relationship by any measure and despite ups and downs over the last 10 years have a stong relationship with open communication.
If she has to much to drink, she can be pretty flirtatious and unaware of her impact on the men around her.
Last night I flew home from a three day work trip knowing my wife was out for a few drinks and live music with a good friend of mine at the local pub. I had expected they would be joined there by some work colleagues as we had done once. By the time I arrived home it was just after midnight. I sent the babysiter home, unpacked my back, had a shower and went to bed at about 1 am). As I lay down it entered my mind that my wife would get home any time as the badn at the local pub normally finished at midnight and, as she was with my trusted friend she was safe. My head hit the pillow and, after a tough week etc, I slept.
I woke to the sound of my wife coming into the room at around 4:30 am. After seeing the time, I was straight away worried that something had happened and ask if she was OK. Out spilled tears and the story....
'I went to the pub, only your friend was there, not the work colleagues we had been out with before. We had a few drinks and watched the band. Your friend was joined by some others who he new from previous visits to the same pub. They were drinking a lot and encouraged me to have some shots. Eventually I was quite drunk and told your friend that I wanted to go home. When we got outside I realised I was feeling pretty sick. We walked for a while in the direction of home, then jumped in a taxi. Your friend told the taxi to take us to his place (his place is just one block past our place). When we got there I realised I was not at home and new I was going to be sick so asked to use the bathroom. We went up stairs. After being in the toilet for almost half an hour and throwing up 3 times I finally emerged to find your friend watch a movie. We sat and talked for a while. Your friend had had a rough week and, well, one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. I felt like I didn't really care what was happening but I did'nt really enjoy it either. It just happened.'
My reaction was explosive...I am devestated. My friend, who I thought was a 'Gentleman' I could trust has betrayed me. My wife has never done anything like this before and was so riddled with guilt that she told me as soon as she walked in the door.
What do I make of all this ?
My wife went out with my good friend who watched her get drunk, throw up and who was not in a clear state of mind and he took full advantage and had sex with her.
I am so confused. My first instinct was to kick my wife out of the house and head over to my friends place with a baseball bat and beat him severely.
Now I am just absolutly devestated. The anger I feel I am worried I will not be able to contain. If my ex friend came with in reach of me there would be a serious problem. My wife has subsequently suffered a breakdown due to guilt and attempted to take her own life (she never was the most emotional robust). She was submitted to hospital and sedated within 3 hours of arriving home.
How can my life be so completely f****ed up in the blink of an eye ?
What should I do ? I feel I will never be able to trust my wife ever again. What about my children...they need their mother....
My wife, a beautiful woman, who had not had many relationships (none sexual) before we were married is very much a 'home body'. After going through a bit of a rough patch recently (moving city due to my job and adjusting to a new foreign country) I had been encouraging her to go out a bit, even if I was not around, to build up her confidence and get her to meet some people. She is not a big drinker but normally knows her boundaries and sticks to them.
We have an good sexual relationship by any measure and despite ups and downs over the last 10 years have a stong relationship with open communication.
If she has to much to drink, she can be pretty flirtatious and unaware of her impact on the men around her.
Last night I flew home from a three day work trip knowing my wife was out for a few drinks and live music with a good friend of mine at the local pub. I had expected they would be joined there by some work colleagues as we had done once. By the time I arrived home it was just after midnight. I sent the babysiter home, unpacked my back, had a shower and went to bed at about 1 am). As I lay down it entered my mind that my wife would get home any time as the badn at the local pub normally finished at midnight and, as she was with my trusted friend she was safe. My head hit the pillow and, after a tough week etc, I slept.
I woke to the sound of my wife coming into the room at around 4:30 am. After seeing the time, I was straight away worried that something had happened and ask if she was OK. Out spilled tears and the story....
'I went to the pub, only your friend was there, not the work colleagues we had been out with before. We had a few drinks and watched the band. Your friend was joined by some others who he new from previous visits to the same pub. They were drinking a lot and encouraged me to have some shots. Eventually I was quite drunk and told your friend that I wanted to go home. When we got outside I realised I was feeling pretty sick. We walked for a while in the direction of home, then jumped in a taxi. Your friend told the taxi to take us to his place (his place is just one block past our place). When we got there I realised I was not at home and new I was going to be sick so asked to use the bathroom. We went up stairs. After being in the toilet for almost half an hour and throwing up 3 times I finally emerged to find your friend watch a movie. We sat and talked for a while. Your friend had had a rough week and, well, one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. I felt like I didn't really care what was happening but I did'nt really enjoy it either. It just happened.'
My reaction was explosive...I am devestated. My friend, who I thought was a 'Gentleman' I could trust has betrayed me. My wife has never done anything like this before and was so riddled with guilt that she told me as soon as she walked in the door.
What do I make of all this ?
My wife went out with my good friend who watched her get drunk, throw up and who was not in a clear state of mind and he took full advantage and had sex with her.
I am so confused. My first instinct was to kick my wife out of the house and head over to my friends place with a baseball bat and beat him severely.
Now I am just absolutly devestated. The anger I feel I am worried I will not be able to contain. If my ex friend came with in reach of me there would be a serious problem. My wife has subsequently suffered a breakdown due to guilt and attempted to take her own life (she never was the most emotional robust). She was submitted to hospital and sedated within 3 hours of arriving home.
How can my life be so completely f****ed up in the blink of an eye ?
What should I do ? I feel I will never be able to trust my wife ever again. What about my children...they need their mother....
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