Just finished another night shift at the hospital and let me tell you, I am beat. Working nights always makes me feel a little loopy, like I'm living in an alternate reality. But tonight, something else was on my mind...
Okay, so there's this white pharmacist, Jason, who caught my eye. He's cute and charming, and he always knows how to make me laugh. I know I'm married and this is totally unprofessional, but there's just something about him.
Maybe it's just the lack of sleep talking, but I feel this connection with him. I know I shouldn't be talking about this stuff, but I can't help gossiping with the other nurses. They seem to think it's all in good fun, but I'm not so sure.
I love Joe, I really do. But lately things have been feeling a little stale between us. And then there's Jason, who just seems so exciting and new. I don't know what to do. Maybe it's just the stress of the job getting to me. Or maybe it's something more.
I don't want to hurt anyone, but I also don't want to miss out on something that could be amazing. Ugh, why is life so complicated? I need to get some sleep and clear my head then things will feel different.
***
This night shift was killer, but something actually exciting happened today. I was in the cafeteria, and of course I was being clumsy and dropped a stack of napkins all over the floor. Then, Jason, the handsome white pharmacist who I've been crushing on, comes out of nowhere to help me pick them up.
We started talking and the conversation flowed like nothing else. I know it's so unprofessional, and I'm still married and all, but there's something about him that I can't resist. We were laughing and flirting, and I just felt this connection that I haven't felt in a long time.
It was just the most amazing night, my heart racing as we started talking, and the chemistry between us was undeniable.
Jason was everything that I had imagined him to be, and more. He was making me laugh and we actually had a lot in common, but I can't stop thinking of his body. He is tall, with broad shoulders and a chiseled chest that I could barely keep my hands off of. I had never been with a white man before, but Jason's body was a work of art that I couldn't resist.
As we talked, Jason leaned in close to me, and I could feel his breath on my skin. He was funny and charming, and I felt myself getting lost in his blue eyes.
Before I knew it, we ended up in his office, and things quickly escalated. We were kissing passionately, our bodies pressed tightly against each other. I could feel his hardness against me, and I couldn't wait to see what he had in store for me.
I was breathless as Jason undressed me, revealing my naked body to him. And then I saw him for the first time, his naked body, so much bigger than any other I had seen before.
Jason has a big ass dick, and I couldn't help but marvel at his size and hardness. It was such a contrast to the flaccid, mostly average penises I see every day at work.
But it wasn't just his body that impressed me. Jason was attentive and skilled, and he knew just how to touch me and make me feel amazing. I had never experienced anything like it before, and I knew that I wanted more of him.
Afterwards, we lay there together, catching our breath. I felt so alive, so happy, and so content in that moment.
I know that what I'm doing is wrong, and that I could lose everything if I get caught. But I just can't help it. I'm addicted to the way that Jason makes me feel, both physically and emotionally.
I know that I need to be careful and keep our affair a secret, but I'm willing to risk everything for him. I want more of him, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to have him.
I don't know what the future holds for us, but I do know that I can't stay away from him. Jason is everything that I want and need, and I'll do whatever it takes to keep him in my life.
***
I can't believe it. Joe knows about me and Jason. I never thought it would happen like this. Someone sent him a picture of us having sex in the hospital. I thought he would be furious, but instead, he was turned on by it. We ended up having sex right there, with him asking me all the details about what happened. I couldn't believe how open he was about it. He even asked me to describe how big Jason's cock was and how it felt inside me.
It was crazy, but at the same time, it felt so liberating. It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I had been holding onto this secret and now I could finally talk to Joe about it. He didn't judge me or make me feel guilty. Instead, he embraced it and used it to spice up our own sex life.
But as much as I enjoyed being with Joe, I couldn't help but think about Jason. I wanted more of him, more of his body, more of his touch. I couldn't shake the thought of him from my mind. It was like an addiction that I can't control.
The talk with Joe also changed the way I see him. I used to think of him as this vanilla guy who never wanted to try anything new. But now I see that he has this wild side to him that I never knew existed. It's like a whole new side to him that I want to explore.
I know I shouldn't be thinking this way. I'm married, and I made a commitment to Joe. But the thrill of being with Jason is just too much to resist. I don't know what to do, but I know that I can't stop thinking about him.
***
I'm sitting here trying to process everything that's happened in the past few weeks. It's been a whirlwind of emotions, guilt, and pleasure. I can't believe I had sex with Jason in the hospital, and now Joe knows about it. But what's even more surprising is that he wasn't mad, he was turned on by it. We ended up having sex while I told him all the details, and I could tell it really turned him on.
Since then, we've been role-playing, with Joe pretending to be Jason, and it's been amazing. I cum so hard and so fast when we do that. It's like guilt mixed with pleasure is the perfect combination for me. But then Joe asked me if I would have sex with Jason again, but this time, he wants me to record it for him.
At first, I was taken aback by the request. It seems like he's pushing me to do something that I'm not comfortable with. But then again, I can't deny that the thought of having sex with Jason again is incredibly arousing. I can't help but want more of him.
I'm writing this diary entry right before my next night shift. I know that I'll see Jason tonight, and I can't help but wonder what will happen. Will I get to see Jason's beautiful body again?
I know that what I'm doing is wrong, but at the same time, it feels so right. I can't help but feel like I'm living out some sort of fantasy. I just hope that I can keep everything under control and not let things spiral out of hand.
***
It's been a few days since I saw Jason and had sex with him again. I can't believe how much I crave him, how much I want him. And Joe, well, he's been different. He even suggested inviting Jason over to our house. Part of me is excited by the idea, but another part of me is scared.
I love Joe, I really do, but I can't help but want more of Jason. I can't help but want to feel him again, to taste him again, to be with him again. And the fact that Joe is turned on by it only makes it worse, or better, I don't even know anymore.
Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a dream, a dream where I have everything I want, where I can have Joe and Jason too. But then reality hits, and I realize that this could all come crashing down. What if someone finds out? What if we get caught? What if I lose my job, my reputation, everything I've worked for?
But then I think about the way Jason's body feels against mine, the way his lips taste, the way he makes me feel, and I can't help but want more. I know it's wrong, but I can't help it. And Joe, well, he seems to want it too. It's like we're both caught up in this fantasy, this fantasy where we can have our cake and eat it too.
I don't know what the future holds, but I know I want Jason again. I know I want to feel him, taste him, be with him. And if Joe is okay with it, then maybe, just maybe, we can make it work. But for now, I have to focus on work. Another night shift, another opportunity to see Jason. I can't wait to see him again.
***
Yesterday was another day where I felt like I was living in a dream. Jason came over to our house, and he fucked me in ways that I never knew were possible. Joe was there, watching the whole time, and I forgot that he was even in the room. It was just me and Jason, and his big white cock that had me screaming and cumming over and over again.
I know it's wrong, but I can't help myself when it comes to Jason. I have always had a thing for white guys, ever since I was a teenager. There was just something about them that drew me in, and I couldn't help but feel attracted to them. In college, there were so many white guys, and I would always joke with my friends about the "eye candy" that was around us.
And now, here I am, married to a Mexican who I love with all my heart, but still can't help feeling drawn to Jason and his big white cock. I know it's wrong, but I can't help myself. Every time I'm around him, I feel like a schoolgirl with a crush, all giddy and nervous.
Joe doesn't seem to mind, though. In fact, he seems to get turned on by the idea of me with another man, especially Jason. It was his idea to invite Jason over to our house, which is what led to yesterday's events, so I guess I shouldn't feel too guilty. Sometimes I even wonder if Joe is just using me to fulfill his own fantasies, or if he genuinely wants me to be happy.
But even if he is just using me, I can't help but feel grateful to him for allowing me to explore my own desires. I know I'm taking a risk by cheating on him, and I know that it could all blow up in my face one day. But for now, I can't help but enjoy the feeling of Jason's big white cock inside me, making me scream and cum like never before.
I don't know where all of this is going to lead, but for now, I'm going to enjoy the ride. I just hope that I don't end up hurting anyone, especially myself.
***
I don't know how to feel right now. I found out yesterday that Joe slept with Diane, my friend and coworker. I feel betrayed and angry, but at the same time, strangely turned on by the idea of him with someone else. I always thought I would never tolerate if he ever cheated on me, but now that it's happened, I can't help but feel aroused.
It's not that I'm jealous of Diane, though. I'm jealous that my husband got to experience pleasure with someone else. I can't stop thinking about it and it's driving me crazy. When Diane made a bitchy comment to me at work, saying she had fucked my husband, I couldn't believe it. But as soon as she said it, all I could think about was how hot it would be to see him with another woman.
I know this probably makes me sound like a terrible person, but I can't help my feelings. I'm mad at my husband for cheating on me, but at the same time, I'm turned on by the thought of it. I guess I understand him better now, because when I was with Jason, I felt the same way. I wanted him all to myself, but at the same time, I wanted to share him with someone else.
I don't know what to do now. I want to confront Joe and ask him about it, but at the same time, I want to explore these new feelings that I'm having. Maybe we could even try something new together, like a threesome or something. I don't know if I'm ready for that yet, but it's definitely something to think about.
I'm still feeling angry and hurt, but I can't shake this feeling of arousal that I have. I need to figure out what to do next, but for now, I'll just keep these thoughts to myself and try to sort out my feelings.
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