First Love

Jake Taylor really wanted to hate Ray Steel, mainly because he was dating his first love Kaylee Graham.

Kaylee was Jake's first and only true love; it was a painful statement of fact for Jake as they moved through school together. Kaylee was oblivious to Jake's feelings on the matter and happily sailed through school being universally popular.

Jake and Kaylee had been neighbors and best friends since primary school; they sat next to each other in lessons. When the usual male and female groups formed at senior school they still sat next to each other; Jake had to deal with a constant stream of insults for that decision. They bounced off each other and got on brilliantly, getting through school work whilst having a good social life. They often talked about their ambitions and plans, many of these involved travel and a growing list of the places they needed to see, as well as the adventures they would have when doing so.

Thankfully their neighborhood friends stuck with them and made school life bearable. That was helped in no small part by Ray, he joined from another school and asked if he could join in with a kick about with Jake and his mates who formed the backbone of the school football team. Ray was phenomenal, they could all see it immediately; it wasn't just him, it was the way he made those around him better. The team won the league and county titles with the credit heaped on Ray, justifiably so.

Jake was good at football, Ray was better, far, far better. His coach summed it up, 'Your job is to win the ball and give it to Ray, he'll do the rest."

Added to that, Ray was the school and regions sports star, captain of just about everything; the trouble was he was also a decent guy and a friend, it was hard not to like him. He took Jake aside after hearing the coaches comment, "That is bollocks, we'll only ever win as a team."

Jake agreed with Ray and then made sure to win the ball and give it to him as much as possible. He was reminded of an old song by the Kinks: David Watts:

Wish I could be like David Watts,

He is the head boy at the school,

He is the captain of the team.

As Kaylee developed things became more awkward, suddenly lots of guys were asking Jake if he'd let Kaylee know they liked her and wanted to take her out. He wasn't surprised, in his opinion she was easily the prettiest girl in the school.

Before Jake knew it Kaylee was dating Ray. Kaylee didn't see the need to warn Jake, they were best friends and never romantically involved, it came as a shock to Jake but he masked his feelings.

Kaylee and Ray became the schools most popular couple, at the centre of every social occasion. The three remained good friends but Jake found himself withdrawing, trying to see less of them. Ray ever the gregarious friend was having none of it.

Ray's star was rising, there was talk of professional football contracts, Jake felt he plodded along in comparison. His dreams seemed diminished now that they weren't being shared and built upon with Kaylee. He just had to accept she was in a different league to him.

He looked up at the old and ruined Morton Farm House; it was huge, by far the largest property in town. After old man Morton died it was inherited by the already wealthy family who no one locally knew, it was emptied, boarded up and left to go to ruin. Previously Jake and Kaylee had talked about ever grander plans of what they could do with it.

***

Jake and Kaylee were both accepted into their 'home town' University, harking back to one of their early ambitions, whilst Ray had already signed on for his local professional football club Melchester Rovers. There was talk of fast tracking and an international calls up at youth level.

Jake and Kaylee quickly established different groups of friends, some from their accommodation and others from clubs, sports and classes. Jake accepted he had no chance with Kaylee; there was no way out of the 'friend zone' and no way to compete with Ray. He finally built the courage to ask out Sharon Newsomme, she was a pretty girl and Jake really liked her when they were introduced at a party. He was delighted when she said yes, they got on really well, everyone thought they were a great match and they soon became a steady couple.

Kaylee was surprised that she felt hurt when Jake confirmed he was going out with Sharon. It didn't make sense but they had always talked about their futures together and it made her realise how distant they had become. She wondered if they were still best friends, Ray had become such a big part of her life.

She noticed Jake had filled out, nothing to compare to Ray, but still nice. He was good looking, quick to laugh and he'd always been a great friend, the kind of guy you could rely on. She couldn't recall having an argument or even a cross word with Jake, unlike with Ray, they argued often and enjoyed making up. What might her relationship with Jake developed into if she hadn't met Ray? Sharon would be an idiot not to go out with Jake, and she'd better treat him right or she'd have Kaylee to answer to.

***

Things began going wrong when the University female hockey team organised a club fundraiser. Essentially they were going to auction off 'a date' with any of the squad members to their Christmas party. It was supposed to be a bit of fun and they would ensure regular boyfriends would win their own girls. Kaylee was on the team but not keen to be involved; the others convinced her saying they would organise it so Ray won. Anyway they reassured her; he had more money than anyone at University.

The regular boyfriends were not impressed with the idea at all, many knew each other including Ray, and unbeknown to the hockey team decided together that they would not bid.

The auction was held in the student union bar. The girls were devastated as none of the boyfriends bid and the dates were won by a mix of other guys at the Uni, some rich, some quite nerdy. The girls were pissed off about their boyfriends not bidding, whilst the boyfriends were pissed off at how stupid the idea was in the first place.

The whole thing was carnage, when it came to Kaylee's turn at the end; the most arrogant prick in the University was winning the bidding. She looked at Ray who had turned up and he just shrugged making no attempt to bid.

Before thinking Jake bid without thinking through the implications; his instinct was to protect Kaylee. Kaylee looked relieved, Ray was furious and stormed out; things got worse when Kaylee's eyes met Sharon's tear filled ones.

Jake was mortified, he didn't expect to go out with Kaylee, he was just protecting his friend, Sharon saw it as admitting something she had long feared. Kaylee tried to apologise to Ray, agreeing that the team caused the mess but he was having none of it.

"Don't be stupid Ray, it was intended as a polite charity date, nothing more and it shouldn't have even been that if you had bid as you were supposed to. Look I know it was a stupid idea in the first place but let's not make it any worse. At least Jake saved me from going out with that arsehole."

"That's OK Kaylee, go on you date with Jake, he paid for you after all. I am sure you'll have a great time."

For Jake the whole thing was preposterous, he thought the team deserved the fall out for being arrogant enough to expect guys to bid for them. He didn't expect to take Kaylee out; it was funny, until it wasn't.

"What time should I pick you up for the party on Friday Sharon?"

"Oh, you hadn't asked me to go with you and I thought you were going with Kaylee."

"I am sorry that upset you, I was just protecting a good friend. We are going steady, so I assumed we'd be going together... don't you want to go?"

"Well the thing is I agreed to go with Ray when he asked."

"Oh come on Sharon I explained that, I want to go with you!"

"That's not my fault is it?"

Sharon's voice softened, "It's just a one off Jake because of the Kaylee thing, I can see you Saturday night."

"What, unless Ray the star takes a shine to you, then I'd be dumped. Is that what you're hoping for Sharon?"

"Of course not, he asked and I said yes and that's all down to you and Kaylee."

"Have a good time Sharon, I won't be seeing you Saturday."

Jake and Kaylee didn't go to the party, neither did they see each other; they both had very quiet and separate nights in, both frustrated by the turn of events.

***

Rumours quickly spread about what had happened at the party.

Sharon approached Jake on Monday, "Hi Jake, I wondered if you fancied the cinema tonight, there is a good film out."

"No thanks Sharon, anyway don't you want to go with Ray."

Sharon shifted uneasily from one foot to the other, "That was just a one off party Jake, it didn't mean anything."

"That's not what I hear, I heard you had a great time. You should check the photographs on social media. What's more the jocks are all bragging how easy their new dates were, let's see what was it they said... 'That you all got nailed."

"You can't believe that, I didn't even let you go all the way until we been steady for months."

"Yeah but you might put out for the football star, should I ask Ray for all the gory details?"

Sharon looked horrified, with that Jake left. He knew Ray wouldn't tell him anything, but Sharon's reaction had said enough.

The fallout from the party hit multiple couples. Some of the girls continued to date the guys who won the auctions; including a physics geek who entertained the attractive hockey captain and treated her so respectfully she dumped her jock boyfriend.

It was a few depressing weeks before Jake bumped into Kaylee again, "I hear you and Sharon broke up due to Ray."

"Yeah, pretty much."

"I am sorry, I feel like it's my fault with the auction and all. Me and Ray are finished as well; I can't believe what he did with Sharon."

She made her own choices, nobody forced her."

They was a long awkward silence, Kaylee broke it first, "I still owe you that date if you are free, would you like to take me out?"

"Sure why not."

"You could sound a bit more enthusiastic Jake."

"We've been out lots of times Kaylee, it's nothing new."

"I mean take me out on a date Jake... not just as a friend."

"Oh, right, really? I thought we were just friends, I don't want to be some rebound or revenge thing; our friendship means more than that to me."

Kaylee looked upset, "I wouldn't do that to you Jake, this would be a genuine chance for us both. I've always liked you, you're funny and listen properly; we've always been close and got on well. There must be a reason for all of that and we have all of those adventures still to plan."

"You remember those?"

"Of course... idiot! Listen our friendship means a lot to me too, I just thought we owed ourselves the chance, I am done with Ray, he's not the man I thought he was."

Both Ray and Sharon were angry when they found out. Ray said Jake had always been after Kaylee and suggested they had orchestrated the whole thing. Sharon was claiming Kaylee wanted to steel her boyfriend.

***

They officially started dating and had a great time, despite his reservations and it being very early days, Jake started thinking it might work out after all.

Kaylee certainly attracted a lot of male attention but she was very adept at deflecting it, he asked her about it.

"I know I'm not like Ray and some of those other guys, aren't you ever tempted."

"No, I like you; most of those guys are arrogant and mess their girls about. You are different, certainly kinder and more mature."

It wasn't quite the impassioned endorsement Jake was hoping for but it was still good.

Ray had signed a full professional contract; they saw him often around town and he always stopped to talk. It was awkward at first but the animosity settled down with Ray apologising for messing things up with Sharon. He was being loaned out to a lower league team for the season to get some experience, it would be nine months before he returned closer to home.

The weeks and months passed by and their relationship blossomed. Jake was thinking of proposing to Kaylee, maybe a long engagement until they finished University.

Eventually he built up the courage and popped the question, on a moonlit beach along the coast from where they lived.

Jake held Kaylee's hands in his and turned to face her, "I'd like to say yes to a question you asked me when we were 7 years old."

"What question?"

Jake dropped to one knee, "You asked me to marry you when we were in primary school, now it's me asking... Kaylee will you marry me."

To Jake's dread, Kaylee hesitated, "I, I, I'm not sure I am ready."

Fuck, fuck, fuck... Jake managed not to say his thoughts out loud.

He got up off his knee, trying to cover the single most embarrassing moment of his entire life, "Yeah sure, take as much time as you need. I wasn't thinking straight away or anything."

"I really am sorry Jake, it's such a big step, I am so confused, I need a bit of time to think... some space."

"Yeah of course, it's fine."

Jake wished he could disappear; one of those Star Trek transporter beams would be useful right about now, "I am sorry if this is a surprise, I thought you were expecting it. If it's time and space you want, I can give you that. If this isn't right for you, then we should be honest with each other and break up."

Kaylee was panicking, what did she want, "I don't want that, you mean more to me than anything."

The quiet walk away from the beach was awkward for them both.

***

Jake decided to give Kaylee some time before he contacted her. He needed to get his own head around things as well. He also thought she should make the first move, given their last conversation and how deflated he felt by Kaylee's rejection.

A few days later, a friend mentioned seeing Kaylee with Ray who was back from his loan spell, it could be innocent, they were still friends. He was more disappointed that she hadn't called him.

More days passed with no contact, he put off calling her again only to bump into her at the student union the following week.

"Hi Jake, I wanted to talk..."

"Really, but you haven't called me for over a week, I guess you have been busy. What did you want to talk about, to tell me you're dating Ray again, thanks I already heard?"

"What no! I mean we went out a couple times... but it wasn't dating. He's just back off loan and we caught up."

"Well if it swims like a duck and quacks, it's a duck. So it's not dating just going out repeatedly with your ex -boyfriend, whilst telling me you needed time and space."

Kaylee erupted, "You know what fuck you, I will date him them, see how you like that!"

Kaylee stormed away angry at Jake's accusation. Finally calming down she was gutted, the devastated look on Jake's face when she didn't respond positively to his proposal and now this on top of it. It was the first time they had ever argued, she hadn't contacted Jake because she wasn't sure what to say to him.

She had gone out with Ray, but it was just as friends... wasn't it? It was clear Ray wanted more and she had to admit there was an attraction to him and it felt like unfinished business. But Jake was the best man she'd every known and the sensible choice. She had panicked when he asked her to marry him and messed the whole thing up, but the accusation of cheating was beyond insulting.

She tried calling Jake to explain things, but he ignored all of her calls and texts.

Ray had grown up a lot and they still had a connection. She wasn't sure if she and Jake were still a couple, so when Ray asked if she wanted to catch lunch she agreed.

Kaylee and Ray were having a lovely lunch. His loan period had gone incredibly well and he was hopeful of pushing for a spot in Melchester's first team. They were laughing when Jake walked in, their eyes met and Kaylee cringed inside, she knew how this would look.

Jake didn't back off, walking over to the seated couple, he seemed eerily calm.

"I came to apologise for not returning your calls Kaylee and see where we were at, but I see now I shouldn't have bothered. It certainly didn't take you two long, I would have thought you could have given me an answer to my proposal before going out with another man, but maybe I expected too much from you."

"It's not like that Jake, we're all friends."

"Friends! I assume that means we're finished then and you don't treat friends like shit, I should never have trusted you."

Jake walked out.

Kaylee was crying, kicking herself for being an idiot. She could of handled it all much better and couldn't blame Jake for the conclusions he had initially drawn, at the same time she was angry that he wouldn't believe her explanation.

Jake missed her more than ever and was desperately unhappy. He wanted to contact her but felt betrayed and insulted and couldn't deal with more of the same.

It wasn't long before he heard Kaylee and Ray had become an item. He was distraught but at least it confirmed what he suspected and ended any lingering doubts.

***

It was only two months later when Jake's parents showed him the wedding announcement for Ray and Kaylee. Jake was staggered, so she was ready to get married just not to him. Was it the money or the sporty jock thing all along, still he couldn't understand the rush.

He didn't attend; friends did, saying the happy couple were moving to London as Ray had signed for a new team in a big money transfer.

Jake knew he had to move on and forget her. He finished University and went traveling, working his way around Asia and Europe for a year before returning home. He got a job which he liked, progressing as an engineer with a local construction firm. He dated a few different women but none of them developed into anything serious. They all lacked the connection he'd had with Kaylee.

***

The first Jake knew of Ray's cheating was in the press under the headline 'Playing Away'. Seemingly Ray had been caught partying with a group of players and women. Some of the women made a living through social media and boosted their following with a stream of clips from the party; Ray being the star player was at the centre of it all.

His club weren't too bothered, he was now an International footballer and worth a fortune and it wasn't an unusual occurrence for players, Kaylee however was more than bothered.

Kaylee was back in town staying with at her parents and avoiding the press. It had been five years since she'd left and now she had two kids in tow. She was the talk of the town; she'd done some modelling and celebrity TV shows, earning her own money. Try as he might Jake couldn't avoid it, typical overheard comments were: "She is stunning, way beyond the pretty girl who left town." "She must be worth a fortune with that divorce settlement they are talking about." "Probably the most eligible woman in the county."

***

Five months after she returned, they literally bumped into each other, Kaylee almost knocking Jake's pint out of his hand at the old bar where they used to hang out.

They looked at each other in silence, before exchanging overly polite pleasantries. The conversation was awkward, stumbling, managing to ask if each other were ok and both giving positive but guarded responses.

Jake couldn't bring himself to commiserate with Kaylee over her divorce. He thought he'd escaped the encounter intact and moved to leave; but as they were parting Kaylee blurted out, "Jake can I buy you a coffee sometime, I'd like to explain."

Against his better judgement he found himself agreeing.

***

"I never thought it would be this hard to talk to you Jake, we were always so easy together."

Jake couldn't think of anything to add and opted for a shrug of the shoulders.

"I am sorry Jake for the way I handled your proposal, it was just such a shock, it wasn't until you confronted me at the lunch that I realised I hadn't given you a clear answer. What I meant to say was yes but could we wait a bit. I just couldn't work it out at the time."

"That's certainly not what you said. I thought your answer was a clear no and you were trying to be kind."

"I know, I didn't call you as I wasn't sure what to say. I spoke to mum, friends and mentioned it to Ray, it was part of the reason we went to talk. I swear when you caught us that day at lunch, we'd just met as friends."

"You weren't ready to be engaged to me, but then practically ran to the church with him, that pissed me off! I realised he was the one you always wanted."

"It wasn't like that Jake, I was so angry when you wouldn't believe me, that stopped me making contacting you. I got angrier the longer you ignored me and went out with Ray again. We got drunk and carried away one night and the next thing I knew I was pregnant. It shouldn't have happened, I was still working out if we could have a future together, but I was pregnant. I couldn't see you taking me back and the timing meant it could only be Ray's. When I told him he was ecstatic and offered to marry me, he told his family and I got swept up with the whole thing. We had to move quickly because of the pregnancy."

"I felt totally ridiculous about the proposal and how you reacted. By the time I figured we needed to talk about it properly, you were having lunch with your ex. I was certain you still had a thing for him and it seems I was right."

"Never feel ridiculous about that proposal, I am still honoured you asked me. It was my fault, my reaction was well just... wrong. Maybe I did have a thing for Ray, but I had put it aside, I wanted to be with you and then it went so wrong, so quickly. The marriage never felt right, it was ok at first but deteriorated quickly. The truth is, I made the wrong choice and regretted it. We were too young and neither I nor Ray had the sense to stop it. I never loved him like I love you."

The word love rather than loved caught Jake's attention but he dismissed the thought quickly; this was a stranger sitting in front of him.

"Can we meet again, as friends; I have missed talking to you so much."

Despite some hesitation from Jake they did start meeting up, irregularly at first, their friendship recovered gradually. It was Kaylee who asked if they could rekindle their relationship. Jake was in a dilemma, could he open himself up and what if he got hurt again.

Kaylee seem to read his mind, "We were so good together, we'll just go slow Jake, build trust in each other, I've the boys to think about now as well."

"I'm honestly not sure Kaylee."

"I recall someone saying I could take all the time I needed, so it seems fair you get the same. Don't look so glum Jake, if nothing else I am practically rich and told I am not bad looking."

Jake tried to smile as his stomach lurched inside.

Unsure or not they started dating, going slowly; the first kiss took weeks to arrive. Jake discovered he didn't burst into flames at Kaylee's touch.

Eventually Jake met Kaylee's sons; it was a big moment for all of them. She was delighted at how well Jake got on with her boys. No big speeches, he just started kicking a ball around with them; he was on a winner with sports and games.

***

Jake didn't meet Ray until the summer after the league ended when he arrived at the house to pick the boys up for a holiday. They talked outside as Kaylee fussed over hurrying the boys to get ready for their dad.

Ray was still outgoing and gregarious, "Jake it's good to see you."

Jake raised an eyebrow, "I wish I could say the same."

"It's all water under the bridge, you're with Kaylee now and maybe you should have always been, but then I wouldn't have those guys."

"What happened between you two?"

"I'll admit I was too young and a useless husband, I can see why she went back to you, you were always more...steady and you have that connection. She liked the excitement and the lifestyle though, she got on with people, had lots of energy and liked the attention; but it was all on me, too many temptations and no one like you there to talk some sense into me."

"That sounds like you still want to be with her?"

"I would take her back in a heartbeat, especially as I'd be back with the boys but we didn't work and she wants you. You're a good guy and I think you are what she needs."

The conversation left Jake perturbed what she 'needs' rather than 'wants' sounded strange and Ray wasn't hiding the fact he still wanted Kaylee. He wondered if Ray was trying to mess with him.

***

Jake was both happy and sad to see that Morten's old farm house had been bought and was undergoing renovation, it had been one of their child dreams to live there. He was looking at the work being done, thinking he'd do a few things differently when Kaylee drove up, jumped out the car and asked what he thought.

"It's nice to see the old place saved, it was falling to pieces."

Kaylee couldn't contain herself, "What if I said it was ours; I bought it and got the work started. It was always one of our dreams Jake."

"Wow really!"

He hugged Kaylee, he was happy but he had envisaged doing the work himself or the two of them doing it together, the idea the money came from Ray and her divorce settlement left him feeling uncomfortable."

"It will be quicker and more practical to have other people do the work; and then we can move into it once we are married."

The word married immediately distracted Jake from his concerns about the house. Jake tried to remember if he had proposed, maybe he had blanked it out after the trauma of his first effort.

"I know we haven't discussed that Jake, but I've come back to you and I want that more than anything. I didn't want to put you through the worry of proposing again."

Jake reasoned his childhood dreams were all coming true. The house and now his true love wanting to marry him.

He expressed some doubts to his friends who looked at him like he had two heads, "Are you crazy, she is like a super model and rich to boot and for some reason she likes you, only a moron wouldn't jump at the chance."

His parents were more conservative in their appraisal, but still confirmed a view that they were always meant to be together.

They were engaged and suddenly everyone was in wedding preparation mode, it was a runaway train.

***

How much Ray hung about in the summer bugged Jake, he often turned up unexpectedly and just walked into their home shouting hello. Then he'd meet Kaylee for the kid's events and sports; Jake couldn't wait for the football pre-season to start.

Kaylee came down the stairs; she looked stunning in a form fitted bodycon dress that accentuated her legs and all of her curves. Her hair was pinned up enhancing the effect of her long elegant neck and shoulders.

"You look stunning, but isn't it a bit much for a kids party?"

"It's a special occasion with photographs, I want to look nice."

She wondered off to mingle with the guests, a lot of who Jake didn't know.

The whole thing felt way over the top to Jake, lots of people, more adults than kids, and of course Ray was at the centre of it all. The young mums fawning over him, with the dads not far behind and Kaylee never far away.

There was a myriad of kids entertainment, clowns, bouncy castles, games, it was ridiculous. It must have cost a fortune but Jake was told not to worry about it as Ray was paying for it all.

Feeling thoroughly ignored, Jake decided to play games with the kids and have a kick about with them. They had a great time, with numerous kids hanging off his legs trying to tackle him. Jake grabbed a drink to recover and cool down. Kaylee still seemed to be attached to Ray, so when Kaylee's Gran said she was tired Jake offered to drive her home. They had always gotten along well and talked until he dropped her off and saw her in.

She left him with something of a bit cryptic comment, "Make sure you do right by yourself Jake."

What did she mean by that? Jake didn't rush back and drove to his favourite spot overlooking the sea.

He ignored a call from Kaylee, a text followed immediately, "Where are you?"

"Dropped your Gran off, didn't think there was need to rush back, you and Ray had everything in control."

"Don't be like that, I want you here."

"And it only took you two and a half hours to realise that?"

"Sorry, got distracted talking to everyone and circulating?"

"Everyone or just Ray?"

"Please come back so we can talk."

Jake headed back, pleased to see things winding down. Kaylee smiled and thanked him for coming back saying they'd talk properly later.

Jake tried for a safe topic of conversation, "Looks like the kids had a great time."

At that point Lewis the Birthday boy was playing in a cardboard box. pretending it was truck and ignoring all of the expensive presents.

Ray smiled, "Just look at him, we must have good genes."

Kaylee sighed, "Yeah, he's perfect."

Ray laughed and added "Well if you ever want another let me know."

Jake was staggered by that comment and waited for Kaylee to object? It was Ray who noticed his reaction.

"Jesus look at your face; who pissed on your chips...I'm just joking and winding you up."

"Fuck off Ray, I'm not in the mood; our relationship is a joke to you, good old Ray, always hanging around to pick up the pieces just like you did the first time around."

"Don't be so petty Jake, Ray didn't mean anything by it."

"It's exactly what he meant and exactly how you treated me today, disregarded and disrespected and now you are defending him. I'm sick of it."

Jake walked out as Kaylee sat opened mouthed. To see Jake blow up like that was a shock to her, the scary bit was she knew her actions were disrespectful. She jumped up, hurtling after him without another word to Ray.

"Let's just sit down and clear the air. Me and Ray are always going to be close because of the children; we have a good relationship, it's not sexual or romantic; there is no harm in it."

"It's more than that, they way you are acting; I think you still see him as the better man."

"That's not true; I never should have been with him in the first place; I love you, not him. You make me feel cherished and secure. We're best friends and a perfect match; I want to spend my life with you. I don't want any of that with him; he isn't capable of those things."

"Maybe you do want those things with me; it doesn't mean you aren't attracted to him."

Kaylee had to admit it had been a close run thing. They had spent a lot of time together and Ray had kissed her while they were upstairs at the party putting their youngest down for a nap; the kiss had lingered. It took a few moments to realise what she was doing and only then did she think about Jake. She went looking for him only to be informed no one had seen him for a couple of hours.

Why had she kissed Ray when she was about to be married to Jake, was she still attracted to him? He was a force of nature in the bedroom and the best sex she'd ever had. Jake was no slouch, he was passionate and intense and she loved what he did to her, but she always seemed to be drawn back to Ray. Kaylee imagined having a fling with Ray; the thought was exciting until she thought of Jake. She couldn't afford to lose her soul mate for a second time! She had to get her head on straight, Jake was the better man and the right choice; there was no doubt in her mind that she loved him.

***

Jake managed to push his concerns aside and go along with the wedding preparations, at the same time Kaylee was pushing aside her infatuation with Ray.

Kaylee thought the wedding setting at the old farm house was idyllic. There were hundreds of guests, it was so much better than the pregnancy induced quickie ceremony with Ray. She followed the petal girl on her father's arm to stand next to a nervous looking Jake. Her pearl satin mermaid gown hugging every inch of her body. She had diamonds and silver threads woven through her hair and looked the epitome of a fairy-tale princess. She enjoyed the looks she received walking down the aisle.

The minster conducted a welcome and led a prayer before reciting the preface.

Kaylee was beaming and radiant, Jake remained nervous.

The request for any lawful impediment to marriage was met with the usual uneasy silence and a comic 'phew' from the minister.

The minister turned to Jake, "Jake William Robertson, will you take Kaylee Miller to be your wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?"

This was the moment; finally all of Jake's dreams were coming true. He was about to marry the girl he had adored and loved since the age of 7.

"I...I...."

Kaylee looked at him alarmed, "Jake are you ok?"

"I, I can't Kaylee."

There was a collective intake of breath across the church.

"I... I can't marry you; I am not your everything, like you are to me."

"But you are, I love you?"

"I should have said no earlier, but I wanted this so much. I am saying it now before it's too late for both of us. You know there are some words you never use about us: desire, passion, lust, those types of words. I want all of that with someone, not just a friend choosing the sensible option."

"Kaylee didn't know how to convince him."

"Even now the words don't come to you, you'll always be wanting something or someone else Kaylee. I'd be a fool to trust you with my heart again."

Ray sat in pews totally bemused, thinking that Jake had always been smarter than him? He had the same doubts about Kaylee but married her anyway. She loved attention and was always wanting what she didn't have. He was pretty sure he had a good chance of seducing her. He certainly wouldn't make the mistake of being in a relationship with her again. It was a shame in a way; Jake would have been a great step dad to his children.

As Jake walked out the church, he thought he caught a smirk from Kaylee's Gran. Then he heard their exit wedding song playing, Wishing Well by Free:

You've always been a good friend of mine.

But you're always sayin' farewell,

And the only time that you're satisfied.

Is with your feet in the wishin' well.

He reached the exit and took a deep breath, for the first time he could remember Jake felt at peace.