Love in the lockdown

 I believe that formal meals are an important part of our family life. It is something that my wife and I try to have with our children at least once week, usually on Sunday nights. We think it is a good way that kids can practice dining out but better still; by using this as a regular family conference it is especially good for family communication. I have learnt from bitter experience how critical communication is with your loved ones.

I just think that children should feel uninhibited to talk about things with adults that are important to them from an early age. If they do not, I believe it carries on into adulthood and to their detriment there will be things that they do not share and should with their love ones.

I just seem to think that we can talk about all sorts of things but avoid that which will really matter. So here is my story to how I came to that conclusion.

In our small family we have a daughter Helen who is nine, Mikey at seven and of course there is my wife, Lily. This Sunday night we were having a practice because we had been invited to a special dinner with a visiting head of a children's charity that my wife and I supported. It was going to be a small affair with just our family and the president's family in recognition of our support. It would be at a top class restaurant so we were a little nervous therefore we wanted our children skilled up on table manners.

Tonight the first task was the handling of the table napkin. "OK guys, why do you put the napkin on your lap?"

Silence

"Mikey, do you have any ideas?"

Mikey shakes his head vigorously.

"Well if you don't you might spill something on your pants and everyone will think you have done something in them."

Raucous giggling from the guys; and on it went.

At the end of dinner and before our pudding we usually have a chat about what's happening in their lives and what they are doing at school. On this day Helen had been doing her homework and wanted to know what I did in the pandemic. She had been told that health workers were the heroes of the pandemic and as I was a doctor she assumed that included me. Unfortunately during the pandemic I was a cop. This was the first that Helen had heard of this and she was disappointed.

I did have my adventures though and I gave her the very short sanitised version and she seemed happy with that.

Actually it is a period of my life that I usually try to forget. Talking to Helen, I noticed my wife glancing at me nervously and she did have good reason. I had not really thought about it for years and having to explain some of it reignited feelings of shame and guilt that I had bottled up so long ago.

After the kids and my wife had gone to bed I settled into my easy chair in the living area, put on some music and pondered a wave of painful nostalgia. Normally I just feel like that period was a part of some ones else's experience. It couldn't be more removed from my current life; but tonight those visceral feelings had surfaced and with it an acute sadness.

In my daydream state an image surfaced. It was probably the most bizarre image of my life and I'm a doctor so I have seen many strange things. The image was of a naked Black man-woman stretched as stiff as aboard and pumping, with the largest penis I had ever seen, a curled up woman, a quite angelic woman on her back, allowing that man-woman total access to her body. It was a bizarre but also erotic image that I would call on many times when a drought of intimacy would require me to self-stimulate for relief.

As is so common with these tales, the sadness all started with a woman, Fleur. She was the one enjoying the sex that I was dreaming about. Fleur was an extraordinary character really. She was off a farm and boarded at an exclusive private school as I did, but when we met in London she was an escort.

For the time we were together I never really knew much about Fleur's family life. I did meet her mother a couple of times. Fleur didn't like talking about the past much so I never really understood why she ended up as an escort except to say she had a dream of being a high class call girl, a sort of courtesan but it never really turned out that way. Fleur had romantic notions about the ancient Greek hetairi.

Me, I was off a back country farm. My Mother was highly intellectual and a lefty. She was unusual in her own right. We had a house full of books. She had been a townie when my father met her. She had been a librarian; somehow Dad lured her away to the back blocks. Mum took to it as long as she had her books and she would write away for them and visit the library in the nearest town. When amazon came along she was in seventh heaven and the books increased exponentially. She had not one but two rural book clubs on the go so she had gathered together a reasonable group of rural literati.

She liked to write poetry and short stories and had many of them published, she stopped when such things went on line. She did not feel comfortable writing for on line publication. She adored the printed word.

I would say dad was pretty intelligent as well but in a different way. He was very self-reliant, seeing we were so far from town. As well as a farmer he was a carpenter, joiner, plumber, and mechanic you name it. He would bemoan modern cars as he couldn't tinker like he used to but he did take to computers even if we had to rely on satellite for an internet connection. He was always full of sage advice but as his intellect was a little different from Mums.

I never really appreciated it until I read a book named "Zen and the Art of motorcycle maintenance." I think you can get my drift from the name of the book what that might have been about. It was inspirational for me as I understood then how logical and creative Dad's mind was and why so much I took for granted happened around the farm.

Like I said Mum was a lefty and involved herself in a number of worthy causes. She did work for the labour party which was a mission in an area where most people voted the other way.

Unfortunately she was to develop cancer but it hardly slowed her down, working to help get Jacinda Adern voted in as Prime Minister. It was to be her swansong. On the cabinet beside her bed in the hospice she had a photograph of the newly elected PM giving her a pre-COVID hug. To Mum a hug from the PM was akin to being bestowed with a Dame-hood and she could die happy with the recognition that she had helped elect someone she so believed in.

My father was not a lefty by any means but he did not wear his politics on his sleeve and he was gracious enough in their marriage to tolerate Mum's views.

Not long before he died and after the COVID 19 lockdown he was getting a bit maudlin over a few drinks when he exclaimed, "You know, I never really went along with your Mothers politics and when this girl got voted in and your Mother was over the moon, I had these misgivings.

I really did not think the slip of the girl was going to come to much. But you know I am happy to be proved wrong. When you think of that cluster fuck over there in that kakistocracy of a democracy we will know and love, I really think that no-one could have done any better than Jacinda.

I take my hat off to Mum for backing the right horse. My only regret is that Mum did not live to see her goddess in her finest hour. I would have been quite happy to hear Mum telling me. 'I told you so.'

As I said my Dad was a gracious man and his love for my Mum transcended her politics and all her other eccentricities.

Mum's death hit me badly. I was working my way through law school at the time. I kind of lost my way when she died and I decided to take time out and go to the UK which was where I met Fleur.

I won't dwell too much on my time there; it wasn't long but meeting Fleur was a thing. I stayed with an old school friend, Mike in his apartment when I arrived. He had a job in finance and a couple of days after arriving he took me to a cocktail bar. There weren't too many kiwis in this part of London but one of the waitresses serving us was. As the night went on the flirting became intense. She was a farm girl like me and we hit it off from the word go. Right from the start I got this thing about her. She seemed a pretty good looking brunette but I confess I did not look much beyond her eyes and smile. She was working with two others, a blonde Eastern European woman and a flaming red haired Scot. All wore brief black uniforms and were stunners. It's easy to see what the qualifications for the job were, boobs, butt and legs. Towards the end of the evening one of the girls invited us back to their apartment. It was late but we were out to party. I can honestly say that it was absolutely the wildest night of my life. We were pretty tanked when we arrived. The apartment was not exactly a bedsitter. The blonde European girl, Lina, occupied it. She bragged that she had a daddy that treated her right.

"You are not exclusive then?" I asked with a smirk.

"Only when he is in town; but that's not very often."

"Where is he now?"

"How should I care; probably with his wife, the stupid cow. He'll call me if he wants me."

The Scot girl whose name was Suzie pulled out a line of coke and we snorted that. The girls stripped or we stripped the girls and they oiled up, whatever, then Fleur did this Lezzo thing with the Scot. She actually pulled out strap on and threatened Mike and I with it. Mike and I politely declined so the Scot got it. The Scot had a thick red bush. I had never seen a bush like that and I just had to fuck it and feel that hair between my teeth; Fleur pulled back and let me have it. I spent a lot of time on that muff. It was lush and her lips meaty and pink. She was one juicy girl. I made a mess of her bush when I unloaded into it

Mike got stuck into the European girl who had a bald pussy. I rolled off the Scot and took the European girls arse while she was riding cowgirl on Mike. She had a stupendous arse and my dick rose to the occasion. I couldn't ever remember feeling this horny. As Lina humped Mike her arse was dilated and it seemed to be winking at me as she worked Mike's prick. I just could not resist. I worked her cunt juice back into her butt. I spat on my hand coated my dick and just rammed into her. She never flinched. She had obviously had seen some considerable arse traffic. It was my first DP and the first time up a girls arse. She clenched her glutes which gave me some resistance; feeling Mike's big dick in there with those perfect twin globes pressing my groin while I pumped that girl's arse was something else.

The Scot went back to Fleur and put on a show for us. They started off tonging. Fleur's tongue was fucking long. The Scot went into frenzy. Fleur looked up at me with the Scots juice all over her face (along with the odd red hair stuck to it). She then snaked that tongue out and licked her own cheeks. With that I immediately creamed the Euro's arse. They turned over and began scissoring one another. Fleur's pussy was completely hairless and as the scot ground into it Fleur was crying, "Oh fuck, give me that hair. She began gasping and her eyes rolled back into her head, her abdomen started to shudder and she finally let out a roar, arching her back in absolute ecstasy. I have never seen an orgasm like it, since. They followed by collapsing together in a clinch.

The night went on and shit it was messy but hell we were young and resilient. In fact I was amazed at my stamina. Mike told me later that they had given him a tab of Viagra. Perhaps they had given me one as well but much of what happened was hazy.

One scene wasn't however and that was the late arrival of a new comer. There was a knock on the door and Fleur rushed up to open it. There at the door stood a very tall well made up and elegant black woman. As a wordless greeting Fleur reached up and gave this woman the most passionate French kiss. The woman whirled her around then placed her on the floor, they embraced and began to writhe in an erotic frenzy. I remember feeling and intense pang of jealousy but my prick was back up and hard on. It was then I was distracted by Lina. I guess it was a reaction but I turned her over and gave her a hard banging finally collapsing onto her. I was feeling weary at this stage and beginning to drift off. Fleur and the woman had retired to the shower at this stage. I asked who the woman was with Fleur

Lina replied "Its Lynnie her imzadi"

"What's an imzadi?"

"A date mate."

"Why are you calling her that?"

"Because Lynnie is not a 'her'; Lynnie does not identify with male or female gender."

I was stunned. I'd heard about this sort of thing but had never been confronted with it. Sadly I thought that I was never going to be Fleur's type. I really did not know how to have a conversation about this sort of thing and not wanting to risk being uncool I steered the conversation onto other subjects. Then I kind of drifted right off as some weed was being passed around.

All this time Lina and I had been laying on the floor with a bedcover wrapped around us. The apartment was a two roomed suite. Mike and Suzie were at this stage on the bed in the other room. Lina and I were lying on the lounge floor which was quite spacious with a kitchen alcove.

I awoke to a noise beside me so I turned my head. The curtains were open and bathed in the light of the city, beside us was Lynnie and Fleur fucking. Fleur was naked on her back and folded into a Viennese oyster. Her arms thread through legs holding them back at an impossible angle. A large breast was drooped to the near side under her leg with one very large erect nipple which was begging me to suck it if I could just get near.

Above her Lynnie was exceptionally tall and pitch black. Lynnie was kind of doing press ups with a very straight back. In this position Lynnie was pinioning Fleur with an absurdly long solidly erect ebony penis protruding from a very large pair of loose flapping testicles. To all intents and purposes this was a man except for a very large pair of full breasts that Lynnie with each thrust was teasing Fleur.

Fleur was a very pale woman with no body hair and in this position against the pitch blackness of Lynnie's rigid torso gave the appearance of a working steam traction engine machine with Lynnie's pole working liking a piston accompanied with Lynnie's steaming rhythmical hiss and Fleurs guttural grunts. SSSS HA; SSSSS HA.

I was transfixed staring at that rigid pole disappearing into Fleur's pink then reappearing; Fleur's fanny was audibly squelching with Lynnie slapping like a metronome as he bottomed out against her.

I wondered where this giant cock was going inside Fleur; fuck Lynnie must have been massaging her heart with it. I fully expected it to appear out of her now open mouth. It seemed impossibly long yet Fleur was taking it in entirety, she closed her mouth and eyes in concentration; her face flushed red in rhapsodic heat.

As the repetition carried on I felt myself rising to the occasion. Lina must have woken because I felt her arm cross me. The aroma of her hand as it crossed me smelt distinctly of our mingled juice. She began to give me a light hand job but the sight and the feel of it all drove me into premature orgasm. I groaned and Fleur and Lynnie looked at me. It seemed to trigger Lynnie, who with back arching gave a tremendous hiss and discharged into fleur. The pumping continued; the cum oozing out around lynnie's pillar of Hercules onto the floor. The wet patch was still there in the morning.

I felt an urge of wanting to fuck Lynnie myself but Lynnie apparently had a show on the following night and abruptly left leaving Fleur to crawl over and under the covers with us.

I couldn't get to sleep after that. Lina was lying on her stomach with her arse exposed. She had a tremendous arse. We began whispering to one another on the subject of arses and I had the urge to ask if I could fuck her arse again. She thought for a moment and then surprised me by agreeing. This time she said she had to prepare herself and disappeared into the bathroom. About 10 minutes later she appeared back, bunched up the bed cover then lay on it with her legs apart. I shuffled around so that I was kneeling behind her. I guided my cock to her anus as she held her glutes apart. She had obviously smeared her butt with lube, and her arse was slightly dilated and looked a bit worse for wear following our earlier activity. She must have been sore but she seemed unfazed by the whole procedure. She asked me to go carefully so we kind of worked away slowly until I was fully in. When I began to pump at her she tightened her glutes to give me more resistance. She also stroked herself with one hand. I was surprised when she began to orgasm and I couldn't quite get to cum after that so I just stopped with my flaccid cock trapped in her arse. We must have been exhausted because we both fell asleep in that position.

Morning light I found myself back under the bed cover with Lina beside me. Fleur was still there; she and Lina were whispering and Fleur was intermittingly sucking on Lina's tits. Lina appeared to be babying her, holding her head and looking at Fleur as though she was her new born. I extricated myself from the cover and stumbled into the shower. I had no sooner begun showering when there was a knock at the glass door. I turned and opened the door to Suzie, green eyed, flaming red hair a mess, pale skin and freckled shoulders; hanging boobs and pink nipples, marked and obviously worse for wear; her red pubes matted with, I presume , Mikes cum

"Mind if I join you?"

There was no need for words as she shuffled in beside me taking the soap out of my hands and at her own initiative decided that my now standing pole require some extra scrubbing. She stared into my eyes as she expertly held my skin tight and she ran her other hand up and down my shaft, giving it a good lather. She put her arms around my neck and began tonging me pushing her wiry mound into my erection; lifting her leg and rubbing her thigh against me.

She shifted onto tiptoes and I bent my legs a little. Suzie was quite tall and with one hand managed to shift my cock into her vagina and began to push. Suzie's back was against the door. It opened and Fleur appeared with her blue vibrating strap on.

Suzie had her arms around my neck and was giving my cock repetitive nudges when she stopped as she felt Fleur's big blue girl cock against her anus. Fleur took the soap and lathered up Suzie's arse. When she entered Suzie I felt a vibrating lump moving up my cock. I lifted Suzie a little so that her double penetration was complete.

I found myself staring directly into Fleur's face across Suzie's shoulder. Fleur licked her lips. I leaned across and I received my first passionate kiss from Fleur spiced with her long tongue. Yeah; I shot my bolt.

I don't know why, I suddenly felt rooters remorse and slid around them rinsing and leaving the shower to Fleur and Suzie working their way to climax.

Things got a little weird after that. Mike and I were very hung over. My head, tongue and dick felt really sore. I had these thoughts of guilt about doing something dirty and depraved. In particular the fact that I had arse fucked Lina seemed to disgust me. I was a simple farm boy. I'd fucked a few girls but this was out of the stratosphere compared with what I'd ever done before.

My objective with girls had always been to find my special one I guess. I had never been into sex for its own sake. My Mum was also sexually conservative. She would have been devastated with me behaving like this. She had a lot to say about being a gentleman. She may have been a lefty but she was old school.

Mike rang in sick in the morning and we hung about with the girls after we had our showers. Ha, I had to pick the red hairs out of my teeth; I ended up having to floss.

The subject of STDs arose somehow. Fleur told me not to worry too much as they have a regular regime and are usually pretty clean. Since Mike and I had gone on about getting nothing for a year they had decided we were safe, in fact that's why they had concocted the plan to take us home and fuck the living daylights out of us. They figured we were nice boys and they felt sorry for us. Anyway I did roll into a clinic and got tested and I was lucky.

A little later I wondered why neither Mike nor I had fucked Fleur. I had assumed that she was some kind of lesbian but she later told me she had a thing for me and didn't want to spoil it. She never explained her relationship with Lynnie and I did not have the courage to ask.

It turned out that the girls were only cocktail waitresses' part time. They actually were escorts. Well that's what they called themselves. So we had got freebies or what Mike suggested in commercial terms, a loss leader.

I was looking for a job. Now I was a big guy. My sports electives at school had been Rugby and martial arts. I was and open side flanker so had some respect; also a back country farm boy, big tough and fit and proud of it. Fleur took me to her boss and I got a job as a kind of body guard when the girls were out on tricks. I also served as an off and on bouncer at the cocktail bar. No punks ever really tested me. I suppose I could be a little intimidating.

The best part was that I would escort the girls and Fleur quite regularly. I wasn't supposed to date the girls. Although I never got to fuck her we had the odd secret make out. Occasionally I would see her with Lynnie; apparently they had an apartment together but they never did anything intimate in public; not even a kiss but she did look at him with some kind of feeling. It always made me feel intensely jealous but I was out of my depth with this stuff. Fleur would not talk about her work and as I said, neither would she talk about her past.

The other girls seemed to be slightly in awe of Fleur. They said she liked to be a bit out there, ahead of the other girls. It was typical of her to date someone like Lynnie. It was, like she was trying to prove something.

Some of the girls had their specialities as escorts. Fleur apparently was into BDSM. I never knew how hard core she really was. From time to time I would drop her off and when I did, I had to stay on until she finished. This was usually a bit of a bore for me and I never liked the waiting around. I used the time to read usually. She had an emergency call system in case she got into trouble but it was never activated. She did carry a dark brown camel skin bag. It was not particularly large and I never saw what was in it. She never showed any signs of having taken part in any particularly vigorous activities.

Apparently she never did gang bangs and that sort of stuff; she regarded that as beneath her. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall to see whatever the hell she got up to.

She spoke a sort of Oxford English with hardly a trace of a kiwi accent. She wanted to be high class but I thought some of the men she was screwing could be a bit dodgy. She seemed to be servicing older guys. The ones I saw answer the door seemed to look like civil service types to me. I presume they weren't married or if they were their wives were included in proceedings. Either that or they had agreed to the husband having a bit on the side. I knew Fleur did women as well. I only got this information from the other girls. Fleur was absolutely discrete with me about her clients.

The other girls knew I was sweet on Fleur and teased me about it. They said I was not bent enough for her.

She did say she was a year off finishing a business degree back in kiwi land but had given it away. She was unhappy and homesick in London so I tried to talk her into going back home and finishing her degree. I got the feeling she had a lot saved. We did talk a lot; Fleur was easy for me to talk to, but talking always only went so far. Fleur drew a line at anything personal. That was out of bounds.

I never intended to stay in London long and I eventually left. I did not get the opportunity to say goodbye to Fleur and leaving was quite sad. On one hand I was attracted to her. She turned me on sexually but there was also this urge to want to protect her and take her away from all this. On the other hand there was this kind of revulsion as a result of that one wild night.

Mike came with me on a brief tour through France, Spain and North Africa; then I was home. Mike and I talked about that night. He felt much the same as me about it. He never had the on-going exposure to the girls that I had and he elected to keep clear of that cocktail bar.

Inspired by my time with the night life of London and seeing a bit of life there I decided to become a cop. I regularly met with the local Bobbies as part of my job. Prostitution is kind of legal in the UK. Brothels are illegal so the girls did this escort stuff. The cocktail waitress thing just helps to keep things kosher as an agency could be deemed a brothel.

As part of protecting the girls I purposely developed a relationship with the Bobbies. I kept clear of the drugs after that night and made it clear to the girls that they could not hold drugs while I was delivering them to their clients and certainly did not condone their use in my presence.

So a cop I became. My dad was not very happy about me becoming a cop. It's not that he wanted me to take over the farm or anything which he certainly did not encourage me to do. He said my Mum would not have liked me being a cop. Apparently she did not like me studying to be a lawyer but she believed in letting me find my own way and would always encourage me to do what I believed. She thought that I would be a great doctor like her brother, Duncan, who had spent a lot of time with Doctors without borders. She never ever told me that herself. Dad was an admirer of Uncle Duncan himself and often talked about him.

Anyway, I trained to be a cop. When I graduated I was temporarily posted to the big city as a probationary constable but I had my heart set on being a country cop.

It was a good 18 months after I had left the UK and who should I run into but Fleur. She was back home and was finishing her business degree. While at the police I was inching my way toward finishing my law degree part time and I met Fleur on campus. I spied her one day. It seemed a total coincident and as soon as I caught up to her she threw her arms around me and began gushing over me. I was a bit overwhelmed but apparently she had been really lonely since she got back.

I wondered later, whether it was such a coincidence or whether she had tracked me. I put that aside as a conceit. I still regarded her slightly out of my class in worldliness.

We started hanging out together. The stuff in London seemed like a dream to me and it just did not enter my head. I just saw her now as the farm girl at Uni. I was lonely myself, and suddenly for the first time in my life I was in love. I found it hard to handle and afraid to express myself to Fleur about it. Fleur did not talk about such things either. I used to wonder what she really felt.

It seemed like she really loved me. We would unfashionably hold hands in public. She would often publically snog or kiss me. We got the odd snide remark about that. Pretty quickly she moved into my bedsitter. She had been sharing a flat with some girls much younger than her so she was glad to get out of that scene. Fleur was not quite the confident self-assured girl I knew in London; She now appeared a little anxious and often on edge. I did not know what to make of it and passed it off; after all life in London was rarefied and divorced from reality, or so I thought. Back in New Zealand, she was perhaps finding reality stressful.

I asked her, "Why me." She said that she felt safe and protected with me in London. She also liked that I seemed to really listen to her and I was sensitive to her when she was down. I would ask her how she was feeling and listened to whatever was troubling her.

She was still secretive about what she got up to. She did let on that one of the reasons she came back was she got into deep trouble about something traumatic. She let that slip one time. I can't remember what was said exactly but I had the strong impression she was somehow kidnapped.

It was maddening that she would not tell me this stuff. She promised that one day she would tell me the full story but it was still too raw. She added that if I had been there to protect her still then things would have been different. That comment sort of put it on me and I unreasonably felt guilty about leaving her.

I really don't know whether she really loved me in a romantic way. Yes we held hands and all that but it seemed a little cliché, like it was an act, but I appreciated that she felt safe with me; and she did say that she had never felt that way with a guy before. She seemed to otherwise have a pretty jaundiced view of guys and their intentions in general.

On my side I found her a knowledgeable and worldly woman. She held an intelligent opinion on a wide variety of topics. We liked to party and have fun but it was not excessive. More often than that, you might have found us at home listening to music and reading books or our i-pads. Although she was well up with popular culture and music she also enjoyed the classical arts. She particularly liked classical music, especially opera. I was comfortable with this. It was not unlike life as a child with my mother. In my mind it cancelled out my thoughts of her London life, and as I was lonely it is easy to see why I fell so in love with her.

The upshot was that we weren't living together long before we got married. I am not sure it was wise in retrospect. We were.. well .. so together, I suppose. Why wouldn't we? Well, as I knew almost nothing about her at that time, it was a risk. However we both rationalized that the past was the past and we should concentrate on the future. We had a very small wedding; just a civil service followed by a dinner with my Dad and Fleur's Mum. We took advantage of Mike visiting from London and Fleur had a class mate she had been friendly with to be a bridesmaid and they were included at dinner as well, naturally.

Fleur's Mum did not seem to like me. She did not seem to have a good impression of cops, even ones doing law degrees. Dad was not taken with her although she was with Dad. Her husband had died sometime back. He had been more of a gentleman farmer. I got the feeling that all had not been well with their marriage.

During dinner she extoled the virtues of a farmer working on his own land; she still retained an interest in one of the farms they had previously owned but it was more of a corporate enterprise now. It had been converted from sheep to dairy and was run by immigrant Filipinos. My dad would not have approved of that. He wasn't racist; he just did not like absentee shareholders owning farms staffed by cheap labour from overseas. He felt they pillaged the land and exploited the workers.

So I know you are bored and wondering. What about the sex with Fleur? What was she like and how could I measure up mentally with all those men and women she had fucked; especially the likes of Lynnie?

Well first of all she was the consummate professional. She had made it her life's work to give pleasure. Her skills were not only physical but I would say 90% mental. She did so much with the tease. Physically she had a pelvic floor like no other woman I have ever had the pleasure of rogering.

What about me. Well, we started on that first day we met and I just didn't get a chance to dwell on Lynnie before she began to teach me the art of the perfect shag or should I say the thousand perfect shags.

I did ask her one evening about Lynnie and his pole of ages. She said it was probably part her physical attributes but mostly training. It was like sword swallowing actually. It wasn't really that good as a fuck, she got her jollies more from showing off to other people. She and Lynnie liked to fuck in front of others a lot but they never did it as a paying thing. She said she had taken all sorts of cocks and said the really fat ones were probably more of a worry for her.

I wondered whether she had become too slack for decent sex. She said she did consider a vaginaplasty but she got by with good muscle development in the nether regions and technique.

What about me? She said two things. One was that I had a cute curve in my dick that really tickled her in certain positions and the other one was I was the first man she had fallen for. What she felt for me she had never felt with any other man she had sex with. There was never a day go past that she did not wonder about it and when she made love to me, it felt like no other. She emphasized the 'made love', a phrase she never used as a rule.

You know I worried about what she said sometimes. One, she was a professional in sweet talking men, so was it all an act? The other, was what happens after two years and the romantic side wains?

In the end I believed her implicitly. She had no other motivation. I wasn't rich, not then anyway. I was a simple cop. She was as intelligent about sex and love as you could get. She talked about the future and she talked about having kids. No, I really believed she was in it for the long haul.

At the end of the day when we first met, we arranged to meet again and go back to her flat. It was in an old weatherboard ornate villa that had been converted into a couple of apartments. Not flash but clean and tidy. As she unlocked and pushed her way into the hall. She called out to her flatmate Ellie. There was no answer. "Ah, she has gone home to her parents. She'll be there over the weekend," muttered Fleur. And did I see that little smile on her face as she said that?

Fleur ushered me in and closed the door. She took off a loose coat she was wearing and hung it on a stand behind the door. Then she turned and backed against the opposite door and looked directly into my eyes. "This is the time," She said, "I have dreamt of this time and now here you are."

In an involuntary action I moved closer to her and with one hand she took me by the neck and drew my face to hers. She began to give me little kisses and licks.

Now, I have told you about her killer tongue.

No, she was not like some sex hungry teenager out of control and slobbering all over me. In the tongue department, this time, she was keeping her powder dry.

She pushed me away a little. Under that coat she had been wearing a blouse and a very tight skirt. As she pushed me away she thrust out her pelvis so that the shape of her mons could be seen in the skirt. This caught my attention and she caught me staring at it. I looked away.

"No," she said softly, "Keep looking at it, Go on. It's Ok." With that she gave a little thrust and began to move it subtly, by bending her legs a little.

I was transfixed. She glanced down at my crotch which was now beginning to bulge as my prick hardened. She took me by the hips and drew me in so that my crotch was barely touching her mons. She then, by using her mons started to stroke it ever so tenderly. It was really hard now and I was beginning to feel the shape of her cleft through the fabric as she captured my prick with it and started to move it in a small circular motion.

She knew I would be feeling a little discomfort with my tight bulge in my trousers so she deftly undid my belt and began massage my naked prick in the same way. Then as my pre-cum formed she started to softly stroke it with her mons up and down lofting herself rhythmically onto her toes. I could see my pre-cum starting to stain her skirt. I began breathing hard as she did this, I was welling up to a premature ejaculation but she wouldn't stop.

Suddenly she lifted onto her toes and lowering, she caught the head of my prick into her cleft between her legs and she pressed down causing me to spontaneously ejaculate into her skirt.

Once I had spent myself she pushed me back slightly and we both looked down at that splash of cream that was now beginning to ooze its way down. Fleur took my head in two hands and pushed me down saying "You naughty, naughty little boy. Now look what you have done. I'm sorry you are going to have to clean that up. Make sure you lick up every last drop."

See what I mean. It wasn't even our first real fuck and she did that. The woman was a living, walking, talking wet dream!! And the evening did not end there.

I was suddenly worrying that I hadn't done anything for her. "Yes you did, my gorgeous man," She said, "And there is plenty more where that came from. First I am making us some dinner and guess what I have for dessert?"

Fleur sat me down in her living room and brought out some wine. "I thought it better be white, what I have planned for you," Fleur said opening a bottle of sauvignon blanc. She poured out the wine and then began busying herself making the dinner. When she wasn't talking she was singing and humming away, but all the time as she was moving around, she was teasing me with that butt of hers. The tight skirt did little for the imagination and for some reason Fleur had lots reasons to bend down for.

At one time it got all too much. She had just turned around after replenishing my wine glass. I had that wiggling butt in my face and I tried to pull her down on my lap, but no, she wouldn't have it.

When there was a lull in the cooking she was bent over looking at a recipe and I quietly got up and surprised her by pressing my reconstituted erection into her butt crack, plainly visible through her tight skirt. She responded, not with surprise, but wiggled her glutes then bending her knees rubbed me back. I lifted her skirt, exposed my cock and started to remove her panties. She breathlessly told me to stop. "Fuck me through my panties, go on," With that I pressed into her panties. I found her very wet and with each thrust I was pushing them into her vag until I finally exploded into her.

She turned around pulled up her skirt as she parted her legs.

My cum was running down her creamy thighs; "Damn there goes my dessert," She smirked, "I guess you had better regard that as your hors d'oeuvre."

And that's how the evening continued and would you believe it I never actually fucked her. "That," She said "Was for tomorrow night which was Friday." The evening ended with her shooing me away; all part of the tease. I wasn't going to get it easily.

The following evening I arrived as instructed; the door was open. I called out to her. She yelled from the bedroom to come in and take a shower,

"I've just had one."

"Well take another one,"

I did as instructed passing the closed bedroom door from where Fleur obviously was.

I finished the shower.

"Are you naked?"

"Obviously yes"

"You can come into the bedroom now,"

I opened the door and was presented with a picture as though from some 18th century French master. There were candles burning with heavily scented air. The furnishing was quite plush for a student bedroom and there sprawled on the bed was Fleur. She was relaxed on her stomach with her legs akimbo, and excited vagina exposed, holding her herself up on her elbows. She slowly turned her head toward me with her large hooded eyes. The scene was intensely erotic. I moved in to join her from behind. There were beads arranged in her butt penetrating her vag and anus. From her anus was a string of pearls arranged in a loop as though she had stuffed a necklace up her. From her vagina there was just the end of some coloured twine.

Do you know she played me and teased me with her butt for a good hour, first instructing me to slowly and sensually manipulate the beads extracting them from her oiled arse. I pulled the twine from her cunt revealing beads of various sizes and shapes. I slowly and carefully pulled them out one by one until they were removed. It was not easy and she wanted me to massage her butt to make it easier. She then took me into her arse moving and tensing her butt in a symphony for glute and PC muscle. She would bring me up but not quite letting me cum. Finally she let me cum inside her and exhausted I collapsed onto her back.

I was so impressed I asked her if I could take a photo of her in that position with the string of beads in her arse.. She said I could but it would be with her phone and she would keep it for me. She did and on our first wedding anniversary she gave me a framed copy of it. If you look very closely at it you can just make out my cum on her reddened pussy lips.

Do I still have it? You bet, stashed away. Is my wife happy with it? Well no, but I think she secretly gets off on it herself.

That heralded a whole weekend where I got to know Fleur very, very well carnally.

I suppose I was spoiled but after a while I came to see our sex life as routine. Fleur always tried to be varied and give me a good time. She was very particular in teaching what she personally enjoyed. If there was one downside it was that I often wondered whether I was in love or in lust. Sex did dominate our relationship.

One time I asked her why she chose to have so many sex partners rather than settling for one or two sugar daddy types like many of her friends. I would have thought that would be safer. She just said she liked the challenge and stimulus of variety. Then her manner changed and she looked down." I did have one" she said, "But I don't want to talk about that right now."

A little alarm went off in my mind with that remark. I knew that there was an important story there but I was destined never to hear it from Fleur.

* * * * *

Back with my developing career in the police, an opportunity came up for a position at a small town, up country. As it was only a half hour drive from Dad's farm it was, like, my own stamping ground. It was coincidently an hour's drive from Fleur's Mum's farm on the flat river terraces closer to the sea. That was the farm that Fleur grew up on.

I am not sure that we thought this one through. We were fixated on the nostalgia for country life and the idealism of being close to nature. We had ideas about getting a bit of land. Fleur wanted to get back into horse riding. We talked about how great it would be bringing up kids in this environment so close to ski fields and biking tracks.

But we both had morphed into city people so there was an initial culture shock. Even though I was a probationary constable, as a cop I had a 24/7 standing in a place like this. We were suddenly aware of ourselves as being in a small pond. The first to go was our hand holding and random snogs.

Getting a job for Fleur turned out to be a bit of a mission. Fleur dressed a little differently than most women in town. Although she was not heavily into makeup she was fastidious about her appearance. Actually I didn't even know what colour her hair was, she changed it so often. Originally I thought she was a brunette but in the end I thought it may be more a blonde. She had bright blue violet eyes that looked incongruent with the dark hair. I thought blue eyes matched being blonde more. Staring at the roots at regular intervals didn't seem to help. I asked her but she just teased me with it.

Fleur finally decided that she should get a beauty fix back in the city once a month and we started doing that on a regular basis. Fleur and I also enjoyed visiting Dad as he had been getting pretty lonely without Mum and he was glad to see us regularly. Our only income and a probationary constable salary at that, although not bad, meant that we were not saving anything so the pressure was on for Fleur to get some kind of job. Getting a job for Fleur turned out to be not easy.

Fleur and I did join the local golf club. The fees were quite reasonable in this neck of the woods and the golf course was stunningly beautiful. It was also a good source of networking and Fleur spent many days of the week up there developing friendships. It was there she picked up a job.

She met the area boss for a major farm supplies outfit. The local branch was one of the biggest employers in town. It was quite large because there was little competition for miles. The bosses name was Simon Sinclair. Even though he was the area head he had based himself in this small town because he and his wife had a farm further up the road. He actually lived in town with his wife and family to be close to schools and suchlike and they had a manager on the farm. I had never met him but in a small town every one's business is known.

Fleur's job was to be his PA but it became more like his XO. I heard through the grapevine that the other staff were not happy about this as Fleur was not yet accepted as a bona fide local and she did not have much experience.

I have to say I was a bit unsettled by it; Simon had a bit of a reputation. What I heard was mainly hearsay because he and his family had not long shifted back into town from down south. The wife was thought of as a bit of a snob. She had her own wealthy farmer network. My father knew her parents from way back as Dad used to trial dogs with the old man when he was alive. Since he was Simon's wife's father I guess the farm must have actually been hers and nobody seemed to know much about that or where Simon originally hailed from. He was not a local by birth.

Initially Fleur seemed to be quite effusive about Simon. She was just so lucky to get the job but after a couple of weeks she went quiet about him. I guess I was naturally jealous. Fleur was developing her own life for the first time since we were married and here was this new man in her life that I had never met.

Being a cop meant that I got to know all the goss. I did see him around. He drove a late model and expensive Audi saloon so he was pretty conspicuous in a small town. I never met him socially with Fleur and he never introduced himself to me which I took as an affront. He seemed to be out of town a lot and that led to Fleur being an unofficial boss which got even further up the staff's nose.

I began to get very uneasy about this. It seemed too much responsibility for someone of her experience. I tried to talk to Fleur about it but she immediately accused me of being sexist and I was jealous of her getting on. She also elected to have her pay accredited to her own account. Since she tracked her account through her phone I did not even know how much she was receiving. She was retreating back into her old secretive behaviour.

She started the position at the beginning of January so by mid-march she was in quite a powerful position for a small town. It did not go unnoticed by my Senior Sergeant who actually asked me what was going on. I just told him I had no idea. I think he was thinking that something Illegal was going on. He then more or less told me it was my duty to rein her in which actually pissed me off. As I was out ranked I just had to suck it up. It did not do a lot for our home life but we were not arguing at least, just tip toing around one another.

Our sex life was still as good as ever. I guess we were in a routine now and sex is a bit like food. Some people like plain food and are happy to served up something simple but delicious day after day. Our sex was like an exotic cuisine. Hot and spicy, a little more variety perhaps but really pretty much the same routine day after day. We were both getting our nourishment so neither of us was complaining.

I did notice the return of her anxiety from when we first met up again at uni. I thought it could simply be the stress of a new job. I tried to discuss it with her but she appeared to be overly sensitive about it. There was nothing that made me think that Fleur was having a sexual affair with Simon but I did feel I needed to find out something about his motives. What do they say? Know thine enemy.

I was forced to come up with some initiative myself because neither Simon nor Fleur seem to want us together socially. For that end I planned to invite him with a couple of other friends for a round of golf.

It was about then that the news of the COVID-19 epidemic overseas was becoming serious and the Government was going to take some urgent action. For us internally in the Police force there was to be some kind of weeklong planning workshop or seminar at our regional headquarters directed by the regional commander for the area response. Nobody at our station was really taking it seriously so I got the job of going down for the week to district HQ.

I was to go down on the Sunday night. Fleur was quite relaxed about my going. She was, like everyone, worrying about the pandemic as there were already cases recorded in New Zealand. The government announced that there would be a four stage approach. We all just assumed that this would occur over a length of time; say a month depending on the spread.

When I got to quarters on the Sunday night it was announced that we were going to level 3 Monday and level 4 probably Wednesday. That was a shock and when we gathered on Monday it was announced that plans had changed. There would be a day and a half of briefing. Most of it by ZOOM from head office then we would return to our respective stations. The other staff at the stations would be given their instructions on line.

The day was intense so it was not until evening that I was able to call Fleur to say I would be arriving early but I couldn't get through. I left a message just asking her to call me but I did not hear back; I tried again in the morning with the same result.

I was not too perturbed about this mainly because I was busy and had so much to think about. The government had announced it was going to lock down to try and eliminate the virus completely from the nation.

I had travelled down with a couple cops from a station to the north of us so I travelled back with the same guys. The police are divided into districts; we had one centred on our station and the guys I was with operated in the adjacent district. We would be monitoring those essential services that had to cross between district boundaries.

Our own town was on the main axial highway and that meant a lot of essential truck traffic passed through. Only supermarkets and pharmacies were allowed to open under strict conditions. People were to retreat into bubbles. They could take walks once a day and go out for food or medicine but otherwise could not leave their bubble. They definitely would not be able to travel from one district or another unless they were an essential service.

This was phenomenal. The Government said, it was going hard and going early. We imagined it was not going to go down very well with the public and were wondering how we were going to police it. It was scary stuff. People working in hospitals were going to be separated from their families. We would be the same so I was thinking that Fleur should go to my Dad's and have her bubble there.

I got into home at three. There was no one there. I rang her cell and there was no answer. I called her land line at work and they said she had called in sick on Monday morning. They didn't know what was wrong. It turned out that Simon was not there either and had left for a trip up north on Sunday night to look at properties with the intention of opening another branch.

In view of the lockdown they were all wondering what they were going to do. They were actually beside themselves as they had no instruction about what they were supposed to do and had not been able to contact Simon. I said I would try and track down Fleur but suggested they should be getting their instructions from their head office and told them to urgently call there.

I called my father to see if Fleur had gone there by some chance. He said no. I told him of my plan to have him share his bubble with Fleur. He thanked me for the idea. He was looking forward to her coming down because he did not want to be on his own especially since we did not know how long this lockdown would last. I rung off, telling him I would track Fleur down somehow.

I had a think, then rang Simon's wife, Pamela. She confirmed he had gone up north on Sunday night. She did not expect him back until Friday. She sounded pissed off saying the stay seemed to be excessive for what he intended to do and she needed to make arrangements and stock up for the family's bubble.

I couldn't think who else to call. I did ring up the golf course but that had closed. I left it there. I had to get back to the station for the evening briefing. This was the important lockdown brief.

When I got in I explained to the sergeant that I could not find Fleur. I mentioned to him that her boss seems to have disappeared as well. I had my suspicions so I was interested in his response which was blunt and to the point, "You know what I think; I think he is rooting her right now and will be doing that for the entire lock down. It looks like you will have your house to yourself."

It is hard to describe what I felt at that time; despite my suspicions I suppose I was a little in denial about them. I thought Sarge's comment was insensitive and unnecessary so I suppose I felt mostly anger toward him. I had no time to think about it as we were then called to the meeting and I had to give a presentation myself based on information gained at District Headquarters.

More than anything else I was worried about how I was going to feed myself. The supermarkets were emptying fast and there were complaints that toilet paper and flour were already running out. We were told that as an essential service we would be helped out on that score.

As a probationary constable it was decided that I would man the station overnight since the others would be on patrol and the older civilian staff would not be able to work. The directive was that the public could not cross from one police district to another without permission as an essential service. We expected regular trucks down the main highway so a checkpoint was set up for us to man.

We would also have to patrol the town for security and to keep people off the streets. Normally a night shift would start at 10:30 but I would have to work the entire night. I didn't mind, there was nothing else to do but watch TV anyway. We had no idea how busy we would be. We expected a lot of aggro.

My nightshift started there and then. Once the others were out on the street it actually turned out to be remarkably quiet. The patrols were mainly directing everyone off the street to their bubbles but following midnight the town was dead quiet. The patrol retreated to a checkpoint on the highway.

There were a few calls earlier but they tailed off. It was a mild March night so I retired to a small outside smoko area we had at the back. It was the first chance I had to ponder on the day's events, where the fuck was Fleur and could she possibly be having an affair with Simon?

Knowing Fleur as I thought I knew her I just did not think it was likely. What would she have to gain? She was worldly. If some guy came onto her she could put them down in the most withering way. I had seen her in action. She seemed so devoted to our future, why would she risk that? She spoke often about how I made her feel safe. Why would she step out from under that especially since her undescribed trauma? No, there had to be some other explanation.

It was about then that I caught a whiff of cigarette smoke from next door. This was unusual in this day and age but also next door was the town medical centre. Somebody was obviously there. I called out.

A voice replied, "Oh it's just me, Sue, the nurse from the district hospital."

There was a flat at the back of the medical centre that acted as transit accommodation for nurses and Doctors coming up from the District Hospital. I was aware that Sue was usually there three days a week.

"What are you doing out at this time?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"Shouldn't you be in your bubble back home?"

"This is my bubble."

"Bit lonely, aren't you?"

"Oh Joan is here, she is fast asleep inside. We are holding the fort up here. I have been waiting for some PPE and testing instructions. God help us if we have an outbreak here, I have nothing yet."

"Thanks you're reassuring," my sarcastic reply.

"What are you doing?"

"I am on night shift."

"Seems like nothing much is happening then. Are you regularly on nights?"

"Yeah, but it looks like It's going to be a bit lonely and the others have to ensure that everything is locked down and there is no unnecessary movement on the highway."

We should keep each other company then. I could do with a man about.

I wondered what that meant. There was a high close boarded fence between us. "Why don't I knock out a couple of boards off this fence so we can at least look at each other?"

"Sound good to me; go for it but keep well back from the fence, we need to keep a few metres apart."

I went back inside, rummaged around for a hammer and managed to whack off a couple of slats. There staring back at was the youngish looking but mature woman. I had seen her around and I knew that Fleur had been to see her. She immediately picked up on that.

"You are Fleur's husband aren't you? How are you both dealing with the lock down?"

"I don't know about Fleur, I have no idea where she is."

"What, you're a policeman haven't you initiated a missing person report?" she smirked.

"It's not actually funny. All the guys are keeping an eye out. I have been running around but still haven't a clue where she is. I am going to spend some more time investigating tomorrow."

"She works for Simon doesn't she? Where is he?"

"Yes she does and he has disappeared too."

"She's with him."

"Not you too. Sarge has made that accusation."

"It's obvious isn't it?"

"She may well be with him I suppose but Sarge suggested she was rooting him."

"Ah Jim, always the diplomatic one; how do you put up with him?"

"I can't believe she is having an affair with Simon. There has to be an innocent explanation. If you understood our history it would be obvious."

"Well, I know Simon and I would say Sarge is probably right."

"How do you know Simon?"

"He's just traded me in for your wife?"

The silent night was at that point punctuated by my intake of breath. There was a pause. Sue was looking at me for my expected reply after she dropped that one on me.

"Do you know that for certain?"

"No, but I know he has someone else and she fits the bill. Yeah I guess I am certain. You ask the girls on the staff, they have been talking about it. Maybe that is hearsay but who else would his current be?"

"He does this often, does he?"

"I wasn't the first. He is an idiot playing around up here. He'll lose everything. He always liked living dangerously but this is a small town, it's not Wellington. I took this position to be up here for him. I can't believe I fell for his line of bullshit. I thought he was divorced. I surprised him when I turned up here and he dropped me like a hot potato. I think he had already lined up your wife anyway. For the life of me I don't know why he is doing it though."

"Well that just reinforces my thinking that something else is going on."

"I'd better hit the sheets I guess. Do you want to make this a regular thing? I feel we both need support at present."

"Actually I'd be grateful for that. Sarge is not that empathic."

"Well knock out a couple more slats so we can see each other a little better. It seems weird peering through this little gap."

"What about Joan?"

"She does not like me smoking. In fact I don't think she likes me at all. She thinks I am a slapper. She usually just reads or watches TV. She goes to bed early as a rule and takes a sleeping pill."

We said our goodbyes and I wonder what will happen. At that time I was feeling pissed off. It was mainly for my old man. He really took to Fleur, it would have been perfect, the pair sharing a bubble. Dad was really disappointed and worried when I told him I couldn't find her. Now he had to endure an indefinite lockdown alone. What in the name of hell was Fleur doing?

The following night was Thursday. I had removed a few palings so Sue and I could have an unrestricted view of each other. I brought a folding deck chair from home which was a little more comfortable to the wooden picnic table and attached bench seat.

Sue was lounging in a wooden deck chair which looked even more comfortable than mine. She was wearing a frock. Sue was a classic blonde nurse. She wore little or no make-up, a fuller figure and quite busty. Her frock was floral and could have been a uniform with her comfortable flats. She was a homely woman with an innate sexiness. Part of this was her confidence. It was the type of confidence nurses often have. I suppose they are used to ordering people around. She was sitting there smoking with her long bushy blonde hair loosely pinned back.

"Why do so many nurse smoke?"

"Because we can?" The reply was posed as a question her voice rising.

"It seems almost as though you are revolting against your own profession."

"There might be something in that. I am always telling myself I am giving up; it's a bit expensive these days. I am actually a trained ICU nurse, head nurse actually in my last job, and I have worked overseas in some dodgy places so there you are."

"Why are you working in public health if you are not trained for that. It would be a drop in pay I take it."

"I fucked too many doctors and got into a scandal when I was sprung by a wife in the sleep over facility. They were looking to sack me; I was already fucking dear Simon as well and had this bright idea of coming up here. It was a kind of face saving position for them and me."

I obviously looked a bit stunned with this last comment and Sue felt the need to elaborate, "Sorry, I was a bit blunt. I have a pretty healthy libido; I am probably a bit of an addict if you can be addicted to sex. It seems to get me into trouble. Even when I was in Somalia I managed to get pregnant. I have a black kid somewhere."

"Shouldn't you be getting some kind of treatment for it?"

"You are probably right. It did not seem to be an imperative when I was enjoying myself but everything has turned to shit. So here we are you and I, a couple of miserable waifs and we cannot even hug because we are each in our own bubble." Sue continued, "Which reminds me, I take it you have not heard from Fleur? You look really depressed."

"I am, I am, I don't know what to think, I feel so helpless. I can't go looking anywhere. I don't know where to look, her car has gone, she could be absolutely anywhere. We have a look out covering the entire north island but it's drawn a blank so far."

"Have you spoken to Pamela?"

"Briefly, but I need to get back to her because when we spoke we did not discuss the possibility of them being together."

"Approaching her is going to be awkward then. If you talk to her, ask her if they have some kind of bach or fishing lodge."

My ears pricked with that one.

"As he got one, really?"

"Whoa, calm down. Short answer is I don't know; I just suspect he does. Never been there, never discussed it with him but he does a lot of fly fishing on one particular stream and he must stay somewhere."

"Wherever they are it seems they are out of range of cell phone coverage."

"There you are; a line of enquiry then."

"Hey we are a good team," I was feeling a little more enthused.

"And you are easy on the eyes as well so I have no objection to being on your team."

And so a mild flirting began.

* * * * *

Friday I thought we had cracked it.

Early morning I rang Pamela. There was no easy way of putting it.

"Have you heard yet from Simon?"

"No."

"But you haven't filed a missing person report?"

"Oh I think I know where he is."

"Where is that?"

"I actually don't know exactly but he has a cabin. I haven't been there as he only bought it recently, although he had been renting it on and off for a while. He likes to catch trout; he is a bit of a loner that way."

"You know my wife is missing as well?"

"Are you suggesting they are together?"

"Possibly."

"Does she have a mini-cooper countryman?"

"Yes."

"Then they are together. My manager discovered a strange mini cooper parked in a derelict implement shed on our farm. It's actually beside some shearers quarters that Simon and I had done up and we use as a getaway. My manager would not normally ever go there but he was checking for me if Simon might have been there for some reason. I can't get there because of this COVID thing. It is out of our district anyway."

"You don't seem overly concerned."

"Oh I am, It's just I have suspected for a while. I decided it was pretty certain what's going on. The lockdown caught them out didn't it? I didn't know he was with your wife, but she works for Simon doesn't she? I thought he was with that bitch at the medical centre."

"If we can find out where this bach is, we can send someone there."

"I will look through our papers. Our lawyer must know but he seems to have disappeared off on some bubble of his own and seems to be incommunicado. I can tell you now I am going to separate from the bastard. I am going for divorce. I have carried the embarrassment for too long. He's in the shit and he'll have nothing from me. He can live in that bach for all I care. The guy can't help himself; he's got to be bent. He's a lousy father as well, my kids are afraid of him. I cannot for the life of me understand what I saw in him. He'll lose his job; my family have a controlling interest in that business and he is toast. Why, why does the silly shit have to do this stuff?"

I have to say I was a bit blown away by the rant.

It was later when I arrived at the station to start my shift; Sarge was there. "We have just had contact with your wife."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"I said, just. She arrived at the check point up north without that prick she is rooting trying to get back here. She was told by the cops she couldn't travel from one district to another and they turned her back. She seemed to have no idea that there had been a total lockdown. Sounds like your wife was pretty upset."

I decided there and then I no longer wanted to be a cop. There was no way I would put up with pricks like Sarge for the rest of my life.

"There must have been some way of getting her back; she is my wife for god sake."

Sarge shouted at me. "Mate, those are the rules, what if she was infected. Listen, harden up, she's rooting the bastard; get rid of her. When this is all over you can bonk Sue next door, I've heard she has the hots for you."

Hell, he was beyond disgusting. I slunk off; one of the wives had dropped off dinner for us and I hadn't eaten since getting up at Noon. I needed the solace of some food.

I thought about Sue. I felt a stirring, a lustful consolation.

I collected the plastic covered paper plate with the food. I did not feel like eating with the others so took it outside.

Sitting at the wooden table I took out my plastic knife and fork which came wrapped in a paper napkin. The food looked nice. It was roast chicken and vegetables with gravy; a simple good country meal.

I remembered I had turned off my phone. I reached into my tunic and took it out, turning it back on. There was an immediate ding of message waiting. I switched to voicemail, "You have one new message", and I pressed 1.

For the first time since Sunday I was listening to Fleur's voice. Her normal confidence was missing and she sounded as though she had difficulty in holding it together.

"I am so sorry Connor but I know my being sorry will not be enough. I want you to know that despite never having told you in so many words I have always loved you deeply but as events transpired not unconditionally. I know you did love me too; we are a pair aren't we. Why have we never told each other this? Despite my love for you, I know it is useless if I have destroyed your love for me. When I get back I hope fervently that we can salvage something from this. I am hoping you can understand that in the circumstances I felt I had no choice. I thought I could handle the situation but quite clearly I did not.

Unfortunately the events that lead me into this situation happened long ago. I am now forced to admit them, I suppose, and they alone will probably be enough to destroy your love for me.

We thought we could leave the past behind...well... It didn't work did it?" There was a sob, and a low wail. I'd never heard Fleur so emotional. She composed herself sniffing. "I don't want to give up Connor but I do understand how you will feel and what was done can never been undone."

The line continued open. I could hear the sound of her gently weeping until it sounded like she wanted say more but with that she clicked off. I began to cry. The emotion for me was hard. I was brought up a bloke. We don't cry. I sniffed; shit if Sarge found me like this, it would be extremely career limiting. I tried to think about other things. I needed some kind of help. Police do have a counselling service but the lock down had locked me out.

"Connor is that you?" It was Sue, she must have heard me.

"I am sorry Sue, I am not feeling the best."

"What's happened?"

"I just had a phone message from Fleur. She kind of admitted what she had done but she gave no detail."

"Oh, my god Connor; are you alright?"

"No, but I'll live. I guess it's my fault for marrying a girl of mystery. I always thought I was there to protect her. She felt safe with me, so she said, that's what attracted her to me. Well I failed her didn't I? I didn't read the signs whatever the signs were. Not much of a cop am I. I certainly would never be a detective."

"Connor, don't beat yourself up about it. None of us are superhuman. Shit happens."

"She said she would explain. It sound like there is something in her past that has led to this. I now regret ever getting married without really talking about this shit. We fooled ourselves into believing that only the future mattered. Denial is no basis for marriage."

Sue was silent; waiting for me to pour it all out. And I did. Sue was a good listener. I desperately wanted to hold her. The tension through that gap in the fence was almost unbearable. I stared at Sue's face. There was an utter look of compassion. I thought she must be a wonderful nurse. I wanted to kiss her. Hell, I wanted to fuck her. I became acutely aware of her body. Sue could see me staring at her, scanning her. Her gaze fixed on me, with her right hand; she reached up and cupped her left breast.

Was that involuntary?

I turned away. This was stupid, we could not touch. I started heavy breathing to calm myself down. I became aware of my erection. I looked up; Sue was smiling, eyes on my fly.

"If only." She whispered without a hint of embarrassment.

I returned her smile, "Ooh that was not so lady like, methinks!"

"I feel free; I am not seeing a gentleman anywhere."

"You wait for the lockdown to end."

"Is that a promise?"

I just smiled. After all I was still married, I suppose.

I heard nothing from Fleur the following day. I found myself thinking more about Sue than Fleur, stirring a sexual tension in anticipation of our next meeting.

"Is that you, Connor?" her voice from behind the fence. It was later than usual, I had long had dinner. It was dark and the bulkhead lamp under the eve was shining shafts of bright yellow light across the black yard. Sue's outside light was not on but I could see her plainly through the gap in the fence lounging back, the same dress as yesterday looped between her legs which were relaxed and spread apart. I had an urge to peer up the dress. Sue caught me glancing at that space between her legs. She murmured, "Nice us being alone and private, I see you a feeling what I have been feeling." Her eyes were on my crotch, she shifted her dress to expose more of her thighs.

"Why don't you sit down and relax while we enjoy one another?"

We sat there in silence just looking at each other's eyes.

"I take it you have heard no more from Fleur?" The atmosphere dipped slightly at this distraction.

"No, and I have not really thought about her much today. There is nothing much I can do but wait it out. She has him, end of story. I have been thinking about you actually."

"Me, little old me? My goodness me what would you be thinking about me for?"

My reply was to betray Fleur's confidence. We had never spoken with anyone else about her London profession.

"I have not told you before but Fleur was an escort in London. She would have seen a lot of sex with a lot of men and made a bit of money from it all. From what you have told me you admit to being quite the promiscuous girl and you seem very seductive."

"If you are asking if I have ever been on the game, no I have not; never taken money for it."

"Shagging doctors then is part of your altruistic behaviour as a nurse then?"

I suppose most women would be insulted at me bitterly talking like this but I was rapidly finding having conversation with Sue easy, raw and without any kind of malice on such subjects. I think she understood my situation and just compensated for it.

"Not only shagging doctors, anybody really. When god handed out libido's I suppose I got more than my share. So you weren't worried about sharing Fleur with the vast hordes."

"We weren't together then and no, it does not worry me. It is only a matter of numbers compared with most women I have been with. It worries me now though. It is not the sex, it is just when you are married you expect commitment, well I do anyway. Commitment is the key to marriage, even more than love."

"Are you not in love with Fleur?"

"I am, I suppose, among the hotch-potch of feelings and emotions there is a collective that must add up to love. No, in my mind it is the betrayal of commitment that is the killer. To bring up children in a stable family there must be total commitment. Whatever was there before the marriage stays there. If there is no commitment, how can you trust someone to be there through thick and thin?"

"I had not thought about it in so many words. I suppose that has been my problem. I am unwilling or unable to commit."

"I doubt that, I mean you made the move up here for fuck knuckle. That must have been an urge to commit."

"Perhaps you are right; only to have it thrust back in my face."

A short silence and a change of tack.

"You were in Somalia, Did you ever know a doctor by the name of Duncan Barnard."

"What Duncan? I certainly did. I mean I never shagged him. Neither did I work directly with him but I knew him well socially. He had a hell of a reputation, really nice, absolutely dedicated top guy. How do you know him?"

"He's my Mother's brother; kind of a favourite uncle."

"Wow, I am impressed. He has never married has he?"

"You want an introduction?"

"Er no. I don't think he is gay but he does not show a lot of interest in the opposite sex. More married to his job I suspect. Well it seems I am in the company of medical royalty."

"That's a bit over the top. It's only him."

"I can imagine you a doctor. Not a specialist. You are too nice. You would make a great GP; easy to talk with, empathic, lovely smile. All the women patients would fall in love with you. You would have to watch that."

As she was saying this, she lifted her skirt a little. It seemed a deliberate action exposing some soft pink semi transparent panties. One hand went to her breast the other was draped lazily over a creamy white thigh. I felt my cock stiffen as I stared at the action. Emboldened by my stare Sue silently moved her hand as she widened her legs a little. She began to rub her panties creasing her camel toe. With her other hand she massaged her breast as it rose and fell with her deepening breath. Copying Sue and not taking my eyes off her I laid my hand upon my now erect cock straining my trousers.

"What would you give for a good revenge romp right now? Me? I need a good pounding. If I could I would have that thing in your pants up my jacksy before you had time to think."

I began to massage my cock; my desire was thumping in my ears. I had never done this sort of thing so brazenly. I so wanted her. "Shit, if there was some way."

"I'm looking at you, your uniform, hi-vis, radio, body armour and I want to see your cock. Go on show me." Sue lifted her hand; her panties were now soaked and worked into her slit, with a good deal of juiced honey hair showing.

I became aware of myself in full uniform slouched in my chair rubbing my cock. A wave of reality and embarrassment swept over me. On the other side of the gap Sue was not giving up, she pulled her panties tight over her fanny, their transparency plainly exposing her pink flesh breaking through her thick unkempt pubic hair. "This fucking bitch is in heat and one way or another I want your puppies, Connor." Sue's face was bright read, a girl in oestrus. It wasn't going to be tonight but I was determined then to have Sue. Whatever her attributes Sue had the imperceptible quality of sexual attraction above all else, she simply looked and smelt of sex; what was lacking was the touch.

I pulled myself together. "Shit, I think Sarge is due in shortly, I muttered. Shall we make this a regular thing?" Shit, what was I saying? I hadn't meant sex... or had I? Besides I was still technically married.

Sue gave me a benign smirk. She recognized the Freudian slip. "I'll lay on a good spread for you."

With that I was up and making my way into the back door of the station.

The back area of the station was quite private. There was no access to it other than through the station itself. The car park was to the side any car pulling in could be heard easily. There was no oversight to the courtyard from the neighbours. The medical centre was similar; these areas just provided for a pleasant out door area to have lunch, a coffee or in Sue's case a smoke.

The following night I was already there when Sue arrived. This night she was wearing a blouse. She sat down, hardly looking at me and immediately began unbuttoning her blouse and with a deft action she pulled down one cup of her lacy red bra to reveal one large breast which when released sprang out and over the cup. She had a large well defined rosy nipple surrounded with the wide pink of her areola. She let me stare at it for a while then she scooped it up so that the nipple could be reached from her lips and she began to suck. She sucked hard and then releasing the now scarlet nipple, she began to suck just to the side until releasing it and leaving a red hickey.

"That's yours", she said. "It arrived by astral travel; a thought transfer."

"While I am doing that can you thought transfer your cunt onto my dick?"

"Oooh talking dirty now are we? Wow, imagine that. Let's just sit here and imagine fucking by thought transfer. You first, tell me what you are doing."

"Ok, Ok, My soul is leaving my clothes."

"Are you naked?"

"Yes, clothes don't have a soul silly. I am flying through the air and am now hovering over you. I am stretched right out with my dick hanging down. It is growing."

"Oooh growing. How long is it?"

"About 30 centimetres."

"That's long, will it fit?"

"It's an angelic one. It will fit anywhere. OK you are rising naked out of you clothes."

"I am feeling it."

"You are rising to face me...face to face. Your legs are wrapping around me as my dick slips into your cunt. Oooh you are so tight but I just manage to slide it in. We embrace and we begin to thrust in sync...We are weightless and begin to rotate as we float... Shit what's that?"

"Phones ringing."

"Bugger! I was enjoying that. Better go."

The following night I was first again. Sue sat down wearing her floral dress. They were sitting in the half light, the sun just having just set. It was a cooler evening with a slight hazy mist drifting about the town from a number of home fires burning.

"Have you noticed how quiet it is without the traffic from the highway?"

"I have really noticed the bird song lately and you can hear the stream running in the valley."

They both listened for the sound of the stream.

"You are right, yet the stream is so far away."

"You know, we now live in a town of tranquillity. Imagine that; COVID has done that."

Sue began proceedings for the night. "Ok, I showed you my tit last night I want to see your dick."

After a bit of negotiation Connor relented and opened his fly, fishing around awkwardly under his body armour. "It's not very cooperative." He fished a small flaccid dick which in this state was not very impressive. "It might need some encouragement."

With that Sue opened her legs revealing what she hid under her dress...well nothing at all. Sue licked her fingers and spreading her bush and began stroking her pink. She continued widening her legs, stretching her hairy lips and pinching her clitoris, repeatedly licking her fingers. She pushed two fingers into her vagina then three. She lent over hooking her fingers into her vagina, finding the sweet spot. Her face had become flush, her cunt was swollen and fleshy, her pubes matted with her juice.

My pole was upright. "God, Connor I didn't think it was going to be so big. Where did that come from?" Sue dragged her chair closer to the gap in the fence. She hooked her vag with the fingers of both hands until it was gaping widely. "Connor, stand up and come to the fence. I want to see that cock." I came and stood leaning into the gap in the fence holding my cock out and I began to thrust into the fence. "

"Point it at me and wank it. I want to see how you wank."

I licked my hand and drawing the skin back hard with the other began to stroke my cock, all the time pointing it at Sue. She in turn was thrusting her hips back, keeping her vagina stretched and gaping.

"Oh Connor, I so want you in me. I want you to squirt your stuff and fill me. My vagina wants to swallow you whole."

With that I prematurely ejaculated with a tremendous squirt that actually caught Sue's dress.

"Oh shit, now I have to decontaminate. Next time I'll have to wear my PPE now that it has arrived." Sue smirked

Connor thought he heard a noise and panicking shook his dick clean and stuffed back in his fly. However he was getting enthusiastic about these shenanigans now. "Hey if we come out about 11:30 the others will be well away then. Do you want to meet then?"

"It's a date, lover boy."

The following night, Sue turned up in her PPE and nothing else. It wasn't an immediate turn on for me. We just started talking about things in general. I quizzed Sue about what it was like working in healthcare. Sue was a very committed person. I felt she would be committed in that way to anything she decided to turn her mind to. She had the kind of ability to focus. She was certainly committed to sex.

For a while it looked as though we were not going to get there that night until Sue started talking about babies. Well kids in general. It seemed she was desperate to have a family. She said how she loved children. I could see by the look in her eyes as she spoke about having a family how she yearned for the idea. "I haven't even got a fur baby", she whined.

She asked me what I thought about children. Now I was an only child but I had nephews and nieces and I always enjoyed my time with them and was even called on for babysitting duties. In short I was comfortable with the idea to the point if I didn't have a family there would not be a point in life.

Sue had to give up a baby in Africa. It was a huge regret for her. She admitted it was her mistake but she could not bear to have an abortion. She kept in contact and helped where she could but it had been taken into a well-to-do family and she felt that the baby would do better in its own culture.

"If we got married you'd like me to have a baby, right?"

"Well yes, if we were married."

"What say we had our baby and then decided to go on a world tour? Along the way I fucked some black guy, a Japanese guy, a Scandinavian guy and some red haired scot; oh maybe an Indian guy. You'd be at all the fuckings, because you would have to be part of it. Then we would have this big united nations of a family. This is my big dream."

I was utterly gobsmacked. She looked totally earnest; she wasn't joking.

"You mean this don't you; this is your dream."

"Absolutely! Would you be the perfect husband and help me with my dream?"

I thought about it. The whole Fleur thing had messed me up, I guess, so I finally said, "Why not, bugger it, why not indeed."

Suddenly Sue was over the moon. "I'm going to hold you to that, Connor boy. You divorce whatsit and we'll tie the knot and get started."

"What the fuck have I let myself into?" I was thinking.

"As a reward you can do my arse", Sue was really jolly now as she slipped off her chair onto her hands and knees in the grass. It was then that I noticed in the grass some anal beads. Sue flicked up her clear plastic PPE exposing her arse and parting her legs she picked up the beads and one by one very slowly started feeding them into her anus. "I expect you to be wanking", she called, and of course in a rerun of the previous night I required no urging.

Each night required something new. Despite my supposedly being on duty, Sue brought wine occasionally to oil the wheels of mutual entertainment. Sarge was now not coming in evenings and I was past caring.

Tied as we were in lockdown with a minimum of excitement we were creating our own. We would discuss some fantasy or other I began to introduce those things that sexually Fleur and I had done for each other. I never told Sue that it was all about Fleur but Sue probably guessed anyway. I mimed the actions and Sue really go into that reciprocating with her own. It was then that our liaison turned into something akin to an absurdist pantomime. To a casual observer, here were two people behaving in a deranged manner. A policeman and a nurse, pillars of the community, he in uniform, body armour and hi-vis, she in Pandemic clear plastic PPE in a bacchanalian duet.

Sex was mixed with acting and even dancing. One night we came close to actually fucking. We were cavorting in front of one another, I had a fully erect cock exposed, Sue was in her PPE and flicking her plastic gown as if performing some bolero; flashing her lush bush. We moved closer facing one another; I was dancing, lifting one leg then the other. Sue was mimicking me, our dance in unison. Whispering, I was singing. I am your stallion, you are my filly." Sue sang back "You are my centaur I am your breeding mare." Sue at this point had her legs akimbo and with both hands had parted her bush exposing her large wet and erect hooded clit. I had my erection pointing at her and we were so close that with my knees bent my cock was almost touching her clit. Every nerve was telling me to finish off to join in union but despite the urge I instinctively stepped back. I licked my hand and with the other I stretched back the skin of my prick; with one wet powerful squeeze I slid my fist up my cock releasing a spray of cum into the air. I nearly dropped in exhaustion with the effort I looked back at Sue who was flushed, with beads of perspiration on her brow and her red face locked in concentration. She finally relieved herself with a shuddering orgasm and emitted a roar which seems to resound in the silence.

We recovered ourselves in silence hoping that nobody had heard us.

The following night I ramped up introducing an imaginary woman for a threesome. In my mind it was Fleur.

I would have my imaginary Woman for myself for a while. My imagination had her teasing me in the way Fleur did, all the time describing this to Sue who was rubbing herself. Then I would tell her to go to Sue. Sue by then was really turned on and took over. "Oh my god, she smells so good. She wants to kiss me. Oh she is pinching my nipples ever so lightly. OOOOO I have never felt like this with a woman. Finally we had her putting on a strap on and she and I double teamed Sue. I could almost swear by Sue's actions she actually thought it was happening.

Then, there was the fateful night. We were sitting and Sue was back with her dress on, sans bra and panties. As per usual the night was silent with only the big trucks passing periodically on the highway bringing essential goods, city to city. They passed and then the town would settle back into silence.

I opened up to Sue about my life with Fleur, eventually I elected to tell her about that night that Mike and he got together with Lina, Suzie and Fleur. I described the night minute by minute as Sue masturbated. She started carefully but the more she heard of the story the more intense she became until she hit her characteristic shuddering orgasm.

As this was happening I thought I saw Joan at the window. She was there and she seemed to disappear. I mentioned it to Sue. She looked at the window it was dark. "I think you imagined it, if she was there she would be in my bedroom. Hers is on the other side. We never venture into each other's bedrooms."

All the same it unsettled me. It would have been weird to see what was happening; me with my uniform gesticulating while Sue masturbated. What if she watched when we did our mimes? Me in uniform and at times Sue totally naked miming and masturbating until we both came. It must have been surrealistic, so very bizarre.

Things went quiet again. The phone rang inside so I had to excuse myself and leave. Sue retired to her little apartment in the medical centre.

We met again the following night but there was no action. I picked straight away that Sue appeared a little agitated. It was further into the conversation that Sue admitted what had happened after they parted the night before. She had gone to bed but couldn't sleep. There was no curfew so she felt free to go for a walk.

She walked around the block onto the main road and noticed a big Kenworth parked there. The night was warm and she noticed the driver was awake and watching her as she walked past. He had the window down and as she walked by he called out hi and they began to chat.

He was a very sexy beast thought Sue and just talking to him got her juices running. Eventually he invited her into the sleeper cab and they spent the night screwing. He was rough, the sex was rough and the space was cramped but that was what she wanted. He screwed her, this way and that, despite the tight space; finally taking her arse. Everything she wanted me to do. Sue said she was on a libido high but when she came down. Wham! She realised the enormity of what she had done. She said my story had messed her mind and she had not been thinking straight. She now realized she was in the shit. She had to now put herself into self-isolation and Joan was going to have to carry the workload all by herself.

Eventually Sue had to be tested for COVID 19 and while she was waiting for the results we continued to chat. I was becoming more interested in a medical career. And we talked about that.

The test result came back positive. Sue went back down to the base hospital. I was tested but I was negative.

I was never to see Sue again. Sue was a diabetic and asthmatic plus she smoked. Although relatively young she had a high risk factor and became one of the very few people to die in New Zealand.

When she departed for down south she left me, again alone. Sue did not die for a few weeks. She would text and phone me regularly. I asked her about Joan and she told me Joan had watched us the whole time. She had been fascinated but very embarrassed about it so was unlikely to tell anyone. In time Sue's the texts just fell away.

Looking back on it, our behaviour was really strange but it was a result of our utter boredom in the lockdown. I wasn't on front line duties and we did not have the aggro we expected. Most people were well behaved. It was the same with Sue really. We took a real risk; God, what if Sarge had caught me. Actually at that stage mentally I just didn't care. I just wanted to leave the Force. I don't know Sue's motivation for taking the risk. She was always a strange one, that girl.

The bizarre nature of our sex, and especially substituting Fleur for Sue played on my mind. Neither my experience with Sue nor with Fleur for that matter was normal sex. With the knowledge that Joan had been watching Sue and me had made me afraid it would all get out to my shame and embarrasment. I knew so little about Joan. I had never even seen her in town and we only ever met at Sue's funeral; a small mousy unassuming woman of similar age to Sue who looked as though she had never had sex with a man in her life. She was too embarrassed to talk to me. Joan just underlined my guilt over my behaviour. Was I in fact a deviant? I questioned whether I could settle with normal sex with a woman.

Meanwhile the lock down came to end and the risk level dropped from 4 to 3 and kept moving. The government's strategy of reacting decisively following health and scientific advice paid off. The countries strategy to go early and go hard seemed to work and this had resulted in the country's ability to eliminate the virus.

There was no appearance of either Fleur or Simon when the lock down was lifted. It was assumed they were together. Pamela managed to determine where Simons fishing bach was. I called to the nearest police station and they sent a patrol car to visit them. We were thinking they had simply been out of touch and would be found there. What the cops found was Simon's body. He had been dead some time; his head smashed and his throat cut. There was no sign of Fleur.

I wasn't given the job of advising Pamela of her husband's death. It was not thought a good idea. I did see her at Simon's funeral. Pamela saw me there at the back. I was not going to stay around but she caught me before I left and asked to meet me the following day. We did do that. Pamela really wanted information on what might have happened but it was as much a mystery to me as it was her.

We both felt that there must be more to it. We actually did not know whether it was Fleur who murdered him or whether someone else had murdered him and abducted her. Who would do such a thing?

There was a murder investigation in place and detectives arrived from out of the district to carry it out. I was not informed about much and knew as little as a civilian would know from the police in similar circumstances. In fact I was a person of interest for a bit. I don't know what fantasy the detectives had in mind to brand me with that but thankfully I was eliminated. After all I hardly left the station. I suppose I could have been orchestrating something over the phone. Knowing Sarge he probably told them I was too stupid to do something like that.

Fleur's Mini was investigated for clues and of course the bach turned over. To all intents and purposes our woman of mystery had disappeared off the face of the earth.

That is until Simon's car was found. It had been run off a metalled road and was concealed in the bush. There was still no sign of Fleur but an intensive search was conducted and she was eventually found four days later on a river flat downstream from a bridge close to where the car had been found. She must have jumped off the bridge into the gorge. The body had been washed down to a river flat. Her head was exposed but her body had remained in the water and therefore had been extensively eaten by eels. There were some very big eels in that area of river.

There was not much to identify her but clothes and piercings were there and you could still make out a tattoo on her neck. Her face had decomposed and was not very recognisable. Looking at her in the morgue, I felt numb. I did not feel disgust; in fact I did not know what to think at all.

Sue was still alive at this stage and I just imagined Sue as ill, she would recover and we would meet again. But I had lost those feelings for Sue that I had felt in that first couple of weeks after lockdown.

I went to stay with Dad. Some good hard work on the farm turned out to be the tonic before Fleur's body was released and then I had to set to work to arrange the funeral.

The funeral was not large. We were only allowed a few mourners. Fleur's Mother came and my father; there were also a few local friends. My old mate Mike was locked down overseas somewhere. There were even a couple of school friends of Fleur's who I'd never met. They learned of the funeral through her Mother. Fleur had been in touch with them since we were married. They told me she was not a happy teenager but she seemed so happy with me after we married. This confused me even more.

I gave a speech about our time together. Of course I did not mention the salacious bits. I broke down once during the telling but recovered. It was a secular funeral, she was not religious.

Fleur's Mother was remarkably supportive. She stayed at our house to look after me and ended staying a week. At the funeral I mentioned what her friends had said and she promised to reveal what she knew in the morning.

The day after the funeral she cooked me breakfast. Following eggs and bacon with grilled tomatoes she sat me down and gravely explained to me a part of Fleur's life I had no conception of.

She told me that Fleur had an unfortunate relationship with her father. He was abusive of both of them and was not a good father. He was a jealous man and if she or Fleur were socializing and he did not like who we talked to, he could make their lives hell the next day.

He was very, very secretive and she had her suspicions what he got up to. He certainly had a wandering eye but she had never challenged her Husband. He was also very secretive about his business dealings which she knew were very murky. This put a great deal of stress on the marriage as she was constantly frightened about what could be going on.

Fleur was not in fact her father's biological daughter and was a result of an affair that she had in secret revenge of her husband's dalliances. She believed he would know Fleur was not his but he was the kind of man who would never admit to being a cuckold.

When Fleur entered her teens she turned right against her father. She hated what he did to her Mother. When she became of age she became very promiscuous and started to flaunt her boy friends around him. This provoked his jealousy and he being violent took it out on her as well as Fleur.

He eventually went as far as beating her boyfriend at the time. She had never met the boyfriend but knew he was the son of some business associate of her husband. It was not long after that her husband had a heart attack. He survived but shortly after committed suicide. This had a terrible effect on Fleur. She told her that the boy's father had found out a lot about him and was using it as leverage to ruin him. Fleur would never say what had been found out.

Fleur had some kind of nervous breakdown and had to receive treatment. She had been going to university but she dropped out and went to the UK. Her Mother lost track of Fleur at that point until she returned to New Zealand.

Fleur's Mother then asked what Simons full name was. When I mentioned Sinclair she gasped. I asked why. She mentioned that a lawyer and close associate of her husband was named Sinclair and had an only son Simon. She did not think of him as a very nice man. After his heart attack her husband and fallen out with Sinclair and in fact he hated him but would not explain why. Sinclair himself had since passed away followed by his wife and that explained why there was no immediate family at Simon's funeral.

I asked if Simon had been the boyfriend. She said, not as far as she was aware. They moved in completely different circles.

She thought for a while and then said it was possible. She said the whole thing remained a mystery to her. She did not understand what was going on at all.

Fleur had found out somehow, at an early age that her father was not her biological father and reacted badly about it. As a result of that communication between her and Fleur had never been great. Fleur never really confided in her. It was a family that could never talk reasonably to one another.

I wondered if Fleur and Simon had met up in London or at least he knew anything about her London life. I mentioned her demeanour since she came back. We decided meeting there didn't seem likely and he would not know about her London life unless she told him herself.

Her mother pondered on her demeanour. She said she suffered from anxiety following her father's death. She believed Fleur seemed to take on the guilt of his heart attack and suicide. She perhaps had a relapse.

I was suddenly in awe of what Fleur had been carrying around in her head. Not only that but I could not help but think that there was something else that helped drive her home from the UK. I wondered whether I could try and contact someone from London and I did try but drew a blank. The cocktail bar we were based out of had closed and the owner disappeared.

In the meantime I asked Fleur's mother to give a statement to the police. She was nervous about it because of what skeletons might fall out of her husband's closet but there was nothing that could implicate her.

The coroner's report ended up concluding suspected murder suicide. There was no evidence of a third party. According to forensic evidence, Simon's time of death was placed either shortly before or after Fleur had tried to come home. There was evidence of sexual activity and also evidence of violence in the bach. DNA samples taken were related to Simon and Fleur and no other person. There were some marks on Fleur's skull of a pattern that may have indicated that she was subjected to violence herself but this was inconclusive as damage from her fall from the bridge could not be totally ruled out.

Already down I was hit again when Sue died. At this stage I was drained. It was apparent that the truck driver Sue fucked had a connection to a cluster of cases in Auckland. In the press it was sanitized stating that Sue provided treatment to the Driver and she contracted it that way. Her funeral was again small because of the COVID restrictions but there was some fanfare in the media as she was perceived as a martyr for her cause as a nurse. Her work overseas was also written about. The woman who had been threatened with the sack because of an affair with a married doctor was now a hero.

I stayed with the police but it was thought best that I leave this community and I was sent back to the city. This enabled me to continue with my law degree while serving as an unhappy probationary constable. I was suffering depression and on top of it my father died. If my mother's death had affected me badly, Dads was devastating. Fortunately my uncle Duncan was back in the country and I moved in with him. At that time I was able to resign from the police on compassionate grounds. With my fathers will I inherited the farm and after tax had a great wodge of money at my disposal. With the finance and the advice of Duncan I planned the next stage in my life.

Now that I was not working full time I found I could finish my law degree in the second semester. In the meantime I lived with Duncan. There was resurgence in community transmission of COVID-19 and Duncan got me a part time job to assist the local hospital with contact tracing tasks until it was suppressed.

Duncan also helped me out in the meantime financially until my fathers will and property sale could be finalized. I decided to get a medical degree. Since my Mother's death I had lost my way but my recent experience and exposure to Sue and Duncan had convinced me of my path. Finishing my law degree meant that for the first year I would only have to study compulsory papers, I would receive dispensation for the others. I would enrol as a mature student. The first year at least would be part time. Financially my father's legacy would give me the ability to complete the study comfortably without a loan and in the future establish my own practice. I imagined a country practice.

* * * * *

My first contact with other students was a group meeting of those intending to go on to a medical degree. At that meeting, I couldn't help noticing one young student. She appeared different than the others. She was a pale blonde woman, very stylishly and elegantly dressed for a student. She seemed alone and painfully shy. She must have been only 18. I would be a good eight years older than her and a mature student with a law degree under my belt; I was very confident and probably a little arrogant.

Since she attended my classes, I just kept noticing her. There was some kind of fascination. I wondered whether she was slightly aspergers. Initially I kept my space from her. As time went by I noticed her glancing at me then looking away if she caught me looking at her. It was not long before she would smile before turning away.

She seemed uncomfortable if any of the other guys in class sat next to her however I tried my luck one day and sat next to her. She seemed to shuffle nervously, and then she turned toward me and gave me the most radiant smile. It was totally infectious and all I could do was grin stupidly back. I finally found my voice and introduced myself, she replied with a breezy, "Hi to you Connor, I'm Lily." Then in an unusual gesture in those post COVID times she held out her hand and I held it for a second. By the end of that lecture I had invited her to the student café for a coffee. By the end of that coffee we were an item.

From then on she was my total obsession. I had fallen in love with her fundamentally from first sight. I was so knocked over by how I felt about her I actually worried about it, thoughts of her kept me awake at night. I couldn't keep my mind off her. I couldn't study unless she was with me. It was like an affliction. I thought I had lost my mind or something and wondered if I should go to student welfare. Duncan got sick to death of me talking about her.

Duncan had never felt that way about anyone and was encouraging me to seek treatment, thinking it was an unhealthy obsession.

It also worried me that she was so much younger. Unlike Sue and Fleur my thoughts about her were not dominated by lust. It wasn't that I was not attracted to Lily in that way it was just she seemed a part of me that I had somehow been missing.

The thing is, she was exactly the same toward me. We began to behave like we were connected at the hip. She too would not study unless she was me. Since she was taking more papers than me I found myself helping her with her study. In the end I might as well have taken those papers myself.

I discovered she was the daughter of a recently deceased doctor. He had died during the lockdown but not of COVID. He had a heart condition. Theirs had been a country practice. Her Mother had spent time between their small lifestyle farm and a studio in Dunedin. She was deeply involved in the fashion world. She was both a designer and an artist of some repute and talent.

Lily had grown up riding horses and those country things but also enjoyed something of the city life. She had very little contact with boys and no steady boyfriend. Neither was she into girls. She was a bona fide virgin.

She was as fragile and beautiful as her name and with our relationship came a tremendous weight of responsibly on me. I felt so responsible for her welfare. I felt I was both daddy and Lover. She looked to me for advice on everything. Not that she necessarily took it. She had a mind of her own and could be bloody minded if she wanted to be. After all she was an only child or so I thought.

I think she had been brought up well. As an only child I believe her parents had not over indulged her as she did not come across and selfish or narcissistic. She was vain and she liked her clothes and make up and she liked to be complemented. I had to become very conversant in fashion and style. She was very attentive of me, almost old fashioned in that regard. She was always looking after my welfare to the point of being a fusspot at times.

If there was a risk it was one of suffocating each other in love, but that never happened, we in our first year just existed together in a state of bliss.

As I said she was a bona fide virgin. And there rapidly came a time when that would change. I worried about this. I had never been with a virgin and I took the defloration as a huge responsibility. I was vastly more experienced in sex.

Thinking of my past experience revived my thoughts of sex with Sue and Fleur as deviant behaviour. I inexplicably began to feel ashamed of them. I could never bring myself to talk about any detail of my earlier lovemaking. I worried about whether she would be too prissy for me; that I would look for more variety elsewhere. But that never happened. From the defloration Lily discovered the joy of sex. She loved it. Her libido was probably above mine. My problem was dealing with that. I started to worry that I was not enough for her and as she was so young, she would become bored with me and seek variety in her new big wide world. It was now this stuff that was keeping me awake at night.

Our defloration night was prearranged. Our petting was becoming increasingly heavy. It came to a head one night. We were alone and I was expounding earnestly about some forgettable aspect of what we had been discussing at a lecture that day. I was on the floor of the apartment I shared with Duncan. He was out of town that night.

Lily was sitting on the sofa and was very quietly listening or I thought she had been listening because she suddenly lifted her sweater and exposed her cute little well-formed breasts. I'd never seen them. I had felt them but I had never even seen Lily naked and we were three months into our relationship.

Well, that night I did get to see lily naked and she was all that her sexy clothes offered. She was a petite, perfect package. We found ourselves rolling around the floor shedding our clothes. Lily not having sexual experience was frantic in her attempted lovemaking.

Both of us were hot and bothered, I knew I was coming the boil and what would be inevitable. I called a stop. "Whoa whoa whoa!" I took her face in my hands and stared straight into her eyes. "Are you on the pill or something?" S

he shook her head slightly and looking down muttered "No."

"I desperately want to go all the way with you and you give me the distinct impression you want to reciprocate on this. Why don't we plan an evening; a beautiful romantic evening. Your first actual sex might not be that great. It seldom is, but it would still be a wonderful evening to remember." She responded with one of her dazzling heart stopping smiles, grabbed my face and rammed her long tongue fair back beyond my uvula which had me choking for a bit.

Well I suppose it was a bit contrived but we did dinner, flowers, soft lights, and beautiful music. In fact I think it was an old classical guitar recording. We did it lying on my queen sized bed. She had a special sheer baby doll top and matching panties. I carefully rolled down the bottoms. She was a natural blonde and her pubes were sparse trimmed slightly but not sheared. Here lips were prominent but very tight.

Head down I gave them a big slurp with my tongue. She knew what that was about. Maybe she had not had it done to her before but she must have read about it. There was no recoil. I pushed my nose into her mons and down into her slit, I felt her clit rising as I rubbed it lightly. I then began to lick her until I felt her tight slit swelling and opening up. Her juices were running freely, I could see that the penetration was not going to be too traumatic, I lifted my head pulled back her lips and stared at her hymen. There was no covering membrane but the aperture was small so I guess she did use tampons.

I would go carefully very, very carefully. I wanted to go doggy but Lily insisted that we be face to face. I took a bit of juggling but in the end it was Lily that guided my cock into position. I lay there with her legs stretched apart and looking into her eyes I gave a quick nudge. He eyes winced a little and she was away.

Yes there was a little bit of blood but did I say she rode horses. The little minx must have been taking notes on the behaviour of stallions. It was full on fuck; none of your namby-pamby lovemaking. The only way to deal with it was to fight fire with fire. Eventually I turned her over and was pounding her from behind whacking her butt and pulling her hair. She near swallowed my cock at some stage and was offering her arse. I drew the line at that point. I didn't think arse was romantic enough for our first night.

This was not what I was expecting. Thankfully it was not the norm. We never settled into a routine; we varied what we did with no real favourite position or vigour. We fucked all over the place; inside the house or out. In fact we got sprung a couple of times; once at the beach and once at a park. It was actually reasonably discrete so I don't think there was ever a risk that we would be arrested for it.

So you see, I was with this much younger woman who quite clearly loved her sex. Now in my experience this was high risk. I could not imagine our relationship surviving. Not for me personally but for Lily.

I knew how I felt for Lily but I was so emotionally committed I couldn't imagine the pain of a split up. I also understood for a young emotional woman that when the first wave of romantic love washes over she could misconstrue this and go seeking another romantic rush. I tortured myself with these thoughts. I tried to discuss these things with Lily, but for her they were just words. She could not conceive of what I was talking about.

Of course we talked about the future. We so wanted the same things. The biggy was the country practice together. Knowing I had the financial where-with-all gave Lily the ticket for our dreams.

Culturally we largely enjoyed the same entertainments and we both liked to keep fit and active with social team sports without being a fitness freak or sports jock or jockess. In fact we played a bit of social mixed netball together and shared a gym. I had long since dropped rugby. You see we couldn't do these things apart.

We had our friends but on the whole we seem to do everything together.

By the end of the year Lily was not just talking about the future but making plans. She was talking about fitting career around kids, and when we would travel, right down to the wedding. Coming into the New Year and once we had passed our exams, as long as we were accepted into medical school we would both shift to Dunedin.

Lily's mother lived in Dunedin. Lily had come north to do her preliminary studies just to get an opportunity to live somewhere else. I had not even met her Mother. I was not sure, even whether her Mother knew just how much older I was. Maybe she wouldn't approve. I knew her mother was keen to meet me. I just did not go down there when Lily visited for one reason or another and when her Mother came north, I was somewhere else. It was never deliberate, it just happened that way.

It was then that I made a fateful decision. I thought at the time, it would either be the best or the most stupid decision I would ever make. It was to deliberately break up for period in order that Lily could experience other guys or women for that matter.

The problem is that if it did not go well it would seem that I was not committed to Lily. There was a high risk that it would destroy Lily's trust in me or through her actions destroy my trust in her.

Another consideration was what damage it would do to me emotionally. I just loved this woman unconditionally. It seemed like deliberately breaking up with her was the ultimate act of self-flagellation. Was I going to deliberately hurt myself because I was guilty of being happy? Thinking of my past, there was a logic explanation for that.

The other side of it was simply obvious, she would simply find someone else and I was toast. I knew I could get jealous so seeing her with others would really eat me up.

Maybe I was over thinking it but I resolved to do this before I met her Mother and before wedding plans became too much of a reality. The obvious time would be when we moved to Dunedin. She would have her digs and I would have mine. She would have student orientation to connect with other students, blah blah blah. Well that's how I laid it down when we had the heart to heart.

The heart to heart did not go well. I had a bawling girlfriend who had a bawling boyfriend. It broke my heart to make her unhappy. Anyway we kind of got over that hump.

I regretted us getting over it somehow. Lily started to become too relaxed about it. Me? I started getting cold feet about it.

Anyway things came to a head when my father's property was sold. That and the logistics of moving and setting up in Dunedin, we were suddenly seeing less of each other. I elected to buy a house and managed to find one on a hillside close to a beach I loved. Lily moved into an apartment her mother had.

Things were in such turmoil that when I finally found myself in this empty house without any furniture sitting on a cardboard box of books wondering if I had ever said good bye to Lily.

Even worse, things started with a hiss and a roar at Uni. I didn't partake in the orientation but Dunedin was party central. I was not in any of the classes that lily was in and the Dunedin campus being large, we simply did not see each other for a month.

I was lonely again and heartbroken to boot. In my mind I had destroyed us. I just couldn't get to grips with my work. I still did not have any furniture for my house. I was sleeping in a sleeping bag on a mattress on the floor. I was not eating well. At least I was not drinking alcohol. In short I had my old depression back.

I spent a lot of time thinking about Sue and Fleur and how fucked up my relationships were. I was still haunted by the 'why' of Fleur's behaviour and was finally resigning myself to never knowing. I had searched out people who knew Simon and there were no clues from that angle. I just assumed in her favour that he must have known of something related to her earlier life and father and was blackmailing her.

As an only child, the loss of my Father and Mother affected me deeply. It was not something the money helped with. The only family support I had was Duncan and he was so worried that one week he flew down and stayed with me. We went inland for some tramping in the Alps. That sure helped but soon he was gone and I drifted back into my depression.

I started to go for long walks in the evening. I kept hoping to see Lily. At Uni I was constantly scanning the crowds for her face.

One night I was walking along a street where there was an old fashioned pub frequented by the student fraternity. The lights and music were blaring and a few students few milling around outside when a guy came staggering out with his arm around, none other, but Lily. I just felt like I had a lead weight in my chest as I stared.

That was my worst moment. Lily did not look very happy; she looked pissed which was unusual for her. In fact I could not remember her ever being drunk as she usually drank very little alcohol.

My shock turned to a seething jealousy. I don't get violent when I get like that; I plot, I scheme, I make plans. I had no idea who the guy was. He was only a young kid about her age. He probably felt he had won the lottery scoring her. I didn't feel like fucking up his life or Lily's for that matter. This is what we had agreed to, or I had insisted on. I'm a stupid cunt aren't I?

No I plotted her return.

Thinking back, I had told her we should be apart for a year then we can see if we still want one another. Oh my god; why a year? Why so long? It will never succeed after a year. I also realised how arrogant I was. Somehow the whole thing was predicated on my assumption she would want to come running back to me because I was so terrific.

That guy she is with may even be her new long term relationship.

I supposed that me being grown up and adult about things I should take that as, well, "Just as I suspected." She is obviously too young and this would have happened at some time.

Yeah right!

OK, I had been the daddy in the relationship, looking after her. What I had not imagined was that it was me that needed her. I had endured four deaths of people I have felt deeply for. The reason I fell in love with Lily was that I needed her and apparently far more than she ever needed me.

I thought I should perhaps move on. In fact I had to move on. I looked at the girls that I had classes with and I could not bear to ask anyone out. In my depressed state I had no confidence. I was supposed to be plotting her return; I had no plan.

Lily and I still had our mobile phones but we agreed not to call one another to give each other freedom. When we agreed to all this it was around her having other men friends. We never discussed me as doing the same thing. I thought if I had someone I could parade her in front of Lily, would lily read that as me moving on or would she get jealous and want to get together?

Initially I didn't want to obviously stalk Lily and I only ever went into her face book page but there was never anything there. She had stopped using it.

It was approaching three months apart when I decided to hell with worrying about stalking and decided to work out when her classes were on and thought I would just happen to be passing by and maybe invite her for a coffee.

I thought about how we would go from there. I thought that she being young would probably get over me a lot quicker than I could her. I would have to win her back; prove myself; but how. She is now probably thinking, 'been there; done that; old hat.'

I had to at least try. I was driven by compulsion. And I did and it turned out remarkably easy. I just hoped that when I saw her she was not with some bloke.

Finally I had some luck; she was just walking away from a lecture when I tapped her on the shoulder.

"Wow, Lily fancy running into you."

"God, Connor it seems like ages since I've seen you." At least she looked really pleased to see me. Her next comment was music to my ears. "Connor, I have a little time on my hands. I have so much to tell you." Wow this was better than I expected. We got a coffee and went and sat under a tree.

"So Connor, what have you been doing with yourself? I have not seen you socially. Are you going out with anyone?"

"Uh no; actually I have been quite celibate. Duncan came down Easter, we spent some time in the mountains."

"How's you work going, I guess you have been throwing yourself into it."

"Uh, Ok I guess." I looked at Lily. She had obviously picked up the vibe that things weren't quite right. She was looking at me the exact same way my Mother did when I was sick or something.

"You were buying a house when I last saw you. What's it like? I bet you had fun buying furniture and setting it up."

"Oh it's a great house. The location is superb but I haven't got round to getting furniture. Needs a woman's touch I suppose. I am still sleeping on a mattress." Lily was really staring at me now, her brows knitted. "Connor ... Are you OK?"

'Oh shit'; I was thinking. "Yes I am perfectly Ok; how about you, everything going OK?" Lily's whole demeanour changed; looking into space. "I am having the greatest time. " She was smiling now in distracted sort of a way. "Orientation was great, I had a ball. You would have been proud of me. I shagged few. You said I should get some experience. Unfortunately it all got a bit much. I suppose I got it all out of my system.

I started seeing this guy and I moved into his flat for a short time but I must have picked up gonorrhoea. We picked it up when Gregg had symptoms; He could only have got it from me. He got really mad and ended the relationship. I was lucky though as I can't have had it for long."

Lily paused and looked at me and I spluttered, "Don't look at me, I've never had it."

"Yeah pretty much picked it up in orientation. It was embarrassing though because I had to track down all those I had sex with. That included two girls." Lily was looking at me at this stage with a triumphant look in her eyes. "Are you proud of me?"

I detected the ambiguity. Was it so or was it a sarcastic question. Lily was still smiling but I had the distinct feeling she was needling me.

"You do know you may not be able to have children."

Lily wasn't fazed, "I'm Ok. There was no sign of PID and the doctor was sure that I had got it in time and there were no complications. I have to say I have gone off sex for a bit. I am really careful now."

I brightened a bit thinking that she was now single and there was an opening for me; her next comment completely dashed my hopes.

"It's all OK now though. I am now going steady with a really sweet guy. He is doing law. I met him at a party; seems like he is from a pretty wealthy family. I have met his parents and everything. Mum really likes them. He understands about the STD. he is giving me some space sexually. We might do something romantic like you and I when I am ready...Connor?" She plainly saw the alarm on my face. "Are you really OK?"

"No, I am sorry Lily, I am not OK. I have lost Five people I love over two, three years."

"Five?"

"Yes, including you Lily."

"Connor you really should be moving on. We had a really good time but that's past now. You had your chance with me. You knew it would turn out like this surely?"

"No Lily, I didn't think it would turn out like this. I realize now how much I was bottling things up. I really need you, Lily, I still do. You are real and pure. We had plans. I was worried you would tire of me if you didn't have opportunity to spread your wings a little before we married."

At this stage I was breaking and was beginning to cry.

"I'm confused Connor. You hurt me so badly when you talked me into this. I don't think I could ever forgive you for what you did. Look we can be friends but I am with a really nice thoughtful guy now, He doesn't have all your baggage."

It was at this point I utterly broke down. I literally humiliated myself in public. Lily put her arms around me, soothing me. "I'm sorry Connor, I'm so sorry I really didn't know. I was thinking about myself, I now know that. What you have been through is enormous. You have to know we are finished but I want to help you."

Lily escorted me to my car. "Are you Ok going home by yourself? I can call my Mum if you like."

Oh shit, I thought that would be double humiliation.

"Look I could hitch you up with one of my girlfriends. You have to get out. You can't live like this. You look thin, Are you eating properly? You have to help yourself, you know."

"As I was getting into the car she came around to the driver's door. "Here look, do you want me to help you get some furniture for your house. There's a project; that would cheer you up."

"I think I would enjoy that. It would at least take my mind off my own troubles. You still have my number, don't you? Give me a call and we will arrange a time."

We said our good byes and then Lily did something unusual, she kissed me good bye. It wasn't a chaste kiss on the cheek it was a full on lovers kiss directly on the lips. No tongue, just that hint of passion.

I made an involuntary touch of my lips as she walked away. Then she waved at someone who seemed to have been watching us. She ran up to him and slung her arms around his neck but he spurned a kiss, turning his head. It must have been her new beau and he was not happy.

After that I did not expect her to ring but she did about a week later. We arranged to meet on the Saturday morning. I don't think I slept on Friday night, I was so keyed up. The morning was a joy but it did not begin well when Lily turned up with an engagement ring on.

"Wow that's quick," I exclaimed spotting it almost straight away. Lily looked embarrassed.

"What, are you pregnant or something, Are you getting married soon?"

Lily replied in hushed tones, "Look, I think it is a mistake really. I don't want to get married right away. I said I wanted a long engagement. I didn't know what to do. Both my Mum and his parents were there when Paul asked me. It was actually horrible."

It was my turn to exercise some compassion. "Hey it's Ok, lily, take some time. You have that you know. You don't have to rush."

Then lily smiled at me and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. The rest of the morning was bliss. It was obvious that lily enjoyed every bit of it as well.

'This girl was nesting,' I thought to myself. We walked around the house talking about what we should buy. Lily ended up talking me into redecorating. She would help me, she gushed. She looked at the view and loved that. She loved the house and oh! the garden had so many possibilities.

We went for coffee, lily was babbling away about doing this or doing that. I listened to what she was saying and just thought, 'Lily this is not your house. You have already led me to believe that we would not be living together.' I couldn't say anything but for the first time I thought I was in with a real chance.

We looked at a few shops and came out with very little. Lily wasn't fazed. She was being very particular. She did not want me saddled with a bunch of old junk, she said. She finally talked me into buying her lunch before parting with a promise to meet the next Saturday. It began to be a regular thing and then included a couple midweek sessions when we just had to visit this place or that.

The shit eventually hit the fan after one Saturday. We drove up north to visit a craftsman furniture maker. It meant that Lily stayed with me later than usual.

That night I had been working on an assignment and had finally flopped onto my new Super king sized bed that Lily insisted I buy. I fell asleep literally thinking of Lily and how she had talked me into it when my crazy ring tone woke me.

It was Lily in a hell of a state crying hysterically that she had been raped. I told her to call emergency but she wouldn't, saying it was Paul.

She said she didn't know where he was. I asked where she was. She said she was hiding outside in the garden of her mother's apartment.

Opposed to her wishes I called emergency services then hurriedly got into my jeans and tee shirt and despite it being cold outside jumped into my VW and made my way to her apartment arriving shortly before the police.

I could hear yelling and crying, some neighbours were on the street but not really doing anything. I rushed around the units to their back yard and over the fence into the apartment's exterior court yard.

Paul had lily cowering on the ground. He had obviously been kicking and hitting her. She had folded herself into the foetus position with her hands protecting her head.

He was in an uncontrollable rage and was holding something in his hand. He saw me and went apoplectic. I was obviously the root cause of his rage. He rushed me but he was an angry man and not one with any fighting skill.

Still in a rage he was a formidable opponent and he was not going to give up. His first lunge at me found him flipped onto the ground. I kept tipping him so he was unable to get up. I was doing it to stall him.

I could hear the sirens as the cars arrived. He managed to get up and he grabbed me but it was too late as two officers grabbed him from behind.

Lily in the meantime was up and as soon as I was free she grabbed me. Paul had managed to do some damage but I was so hyped up with adrenalin I was feeling no pain. Lily just clung to me and would not let me out of her sight as we were taken up to Accident and Emergency at the hospital.

And that's how lily and I got back together. Basically, it seems Paul had suspected something and had been spying on us. He was sure we were bonking and the trip up north was the final straw. He was a very jealous guy and he had hit her before this. It seems he had trouble with anger management.

One turn up was I discovered that Lily had been stalking me a little and knew more about what I had been doing than she let on.

It took a wee while to really be totally comfortable with one another. The house was the key. We were soon bonking and Lily eventually moved in with me. We spent a year redecorating which turned into a refurb and modernization but we love it, it was ours, well possibly more Lily's, but I don't care. We had Helen before we got married. We got married more at the insistence of Lily's mum really. Eventually we moved out of the house when we established the practice.

Yes, we finally achieved our dream.

Before we moved out we had an interesting visit. Helen was still a toddler and Mikey was still a baby, when on a Saturday morning the door chimes rang. Lily answered and called me to the door. Standing outside was an elegant woman with striking red hair accompanied by a well-dressed man I presumed was her husband. It took me a few seconds but I clicked when she spoke with a broad Scots accent.

Like many red heads she seemed to have hardly aged so was still very recognizable. It was Fleur's escort friend, Suzie from London. I had previously told Lily about those days and Lily herself invited Suzie and her husband in, sitting us down and bringing a pot of tea.

The conversation initially was all generalities; Suzie had emigrated to be with her kiwi husband and had been living here for quite a while. Finally she got to her point. She was trying to find Fleur who she understood had come back to New Zealand.

Unfortunately Fleur used a different surname in London and Suzie did not know what her real name was so had never discovered her mother. Approaching me was a longshot as she had no idea we would have linked up. But finally she thought that there was a chance that I might know. She was stunned when I had told her that we had married but she committed suicide.

Suzie began weeping. I hadn't thought of her as the weeping sort so I was quite touched. When she had settled a bit we talked at length about Fleur.

I told her the circumstances of her death and the apparent affair were a mystery but also there was a mystery in the circumstances of her return. We knew there had been some kind of traumatic experience but Fleur would not discuss it.

I said that to my regret, if I had known, maybe I could have helped and she may have not have died so needlessly. Suzie listened then told me Fleur's story as she knew it.

"To know what happened you have to know why Suzie was in the UK in the first place. It seems she had a terrible relationship with her father. He was a rat bag and actually beat up her boyfriend.

He had a heart attack and it was brought on because he was being blackmailed about stuff he got up to."

"Did she say who it was blackmailing him?"

"No I don't recall a name except he was a lawyer."

"Did she say anything about the lawyer's son?"

"No nothing at all. The lawyer was trying to get a controlling share of a business, a farming one but her father committed suicide."

"Following his death the farming interest fell in favour of her mother. The lawyer was not aware of the details. The lawyer thought that Fleur would have inherited it for some reason, but Fleur and her father had grown to hate each other and he cut her off. She left for the UK because she thought the lawyer was going to expose her as well. She seemed to think she had done stuff that would have got her arrested as well."

"What sort of stuff?"

"She never said but I always assumed that it had something to do with drugs."

Any way she arrived in the UK and became one wild girl until you turned up." Suzie smiled at me as she said this. "Aye, she was very taken with you."

"We never really did anything."

"Aye, I think that was the point."

Suzie swallowed the composed herself for what happened next.

One of Fleur's clients was a politician. Now he resigned over what happened next. You may have heard is name because of the scandal but you would not have heard Fleur's name attached to it.

You remember Lina, well she began in the game when she was young. She was actually trafficked out of the Ukraine. At some stage, Will, our boss at the cocktail bar, had done some kind of deal. She was originally owned by a Russian crowd.

Will used to look after her and it was through him that she got a sugar Daddy and an apartment. He thought we were nice girls and we would look after her, which we did.

Now Fleur was regularly with this politician dude and I think she was pretty much exclusive to him in the end after you left. She was therefore making a lot of money out of him. She wasn't cheap you know.

Fleur would usually go to this apartment the dude had for their liaisons, but occasionally they would go down to Brighton and he would pick her up in his big black chauffeur driven Merc.

Now here's the coincidence. Lina came home one day and saw the dude leaning against his car. She recognized him and she kind of froze. Fleur came down and confirmed to her that he was her sugar daddy. She'd had been doing him, on and off, since she first arrived; she had looked pretty young then and he liked them young. It seemed that the dude actually saw them talking and may have recognized Lina.

Any way; apparently he was up to his neck in the trafficking. He was into the young women and Lina had been one of his; this started in his visits to Eastern Europe. He used to partake in his girls in Bulgaria where he met Lina and it was he that organized with Will getting Lina to England.

He tired of her well before Fleur had arrived. Lina for a while was just working as a cocktail waitress until Will set her up with another sugar daddy.

When Fleur found out what the dude had been into she went ape shit and immediately called the police. It grew into big deal involving Interpol and the police set about organizing some sort of sting. Well, it seems that the dude figured something was going on.

He actually frightened Fleur now that he knew we were all socializing together.

If he even got a whiff that something was amiss, we would pay the price. Fleur told the police this. Of course I was sharing a flat with Fleur and was very frightened as well.

Apparently the Dude brought up doing a threesome including Lina in Brighton. You know Fleur never normally did that in her job and the Dude would have known this.

Fleur smelt a rat and told the police. That's when they set up the sting. It was a helluva high risk because it was obvious that these two girls were going to disappear.

Well I saw him waiting there with his big black car with these tinted windows.

The cops had me clear out of the flat for safety. The cops had people watching as well. I saw them both approach the car and the Dude was inside.

He did not show himself this time but I saw him wave out the door to Fleur as she approached. There was a heavy bro' waiting by the car. Fleur got in but Lina held back and then the Bro came around grabbed by her arm and threw her bodily into the car, slammed the door and jumped into the front passenger door as they drove off.

The cops botched the timing of the next stage.

The dude did not take them to Brighton but to someplace in the country which created problems for the cops but they did track them down. They were also using a helicopter or something.

Fleur and Lina were tied to chairs then they sexually tortured; Lina in front of Fleur.

To their credit the cops did a professional job in storming the mansion they were in. The dude and his men were not expecting it at all.

They saved Fleur but they were too late for Lina who died later in hospital. Fleur was in a state afterward. She got psychiatric help and was drugged to the eyeballs for a while. She eventually settled own and decided to get out of the scene.

She had to anyway because they feared for her life and a possible retaliation from the Dudes contacts; which were those very Russians that started this, by the way.

And that's how I ended up here. I had to go to Canada to escape and there I met Kiwi Keith here and immigrated to the land of the Kiwi."

"What happened to the gang?"

"There was a huge bust. It never really came out about the Dudes involvement. He was kind of exposed. There were photographs in the media but nothing explicit that he could be prosecuted on. He just resigned and disappeared. He must have sung like a canary because later there was a massive trafficking bust over several countries but his name never came up again. Fleur was absolutely rabid about anything to do with abuse. If that guy Simon you talked about did anything funny with Fleur, tried to black mail her or something, she would nail him come hell or high water."

For the first time I thought I finally knew Fleur, the woman of mystery. OK, it was not total closure but I now understood that while living with Fleur I had been living with a ticking time bomb. It was a relief that what happened with Fleur did not seem to be as a result our relationship.

May be, just may be if it hadn't been for the lock down Fleur would have killed this guy and nobody would have known. Who knows what the plan was but I knew one thing. I ask you; what woman would have an affair with a guy who caused her father's suicide through trying to destroy his family and business?

It would always be my shame that I did not live up to the protector she saw in me. If we could have communicated more, if she could have opened up, she would still be alive. But then I love my life with Lily and Helen and Mikey, these thoughts just made me feel conflicted.

I sighed with all this ancient history. I was now living in a life where this sort of thing doesn't happen. I glance up to see Lily sitting there. I hadn't notice her returning after having gone to bed. She was just sitting there in her floral loose top and trousers that she habitually wore to bed. I stared admiring her high forehead, her long wavy blonde hair cascading onto her shoulders, framing her awesome cheekbones, her long neck topped by an exquisite and still cute young looking face.

We had learnt so much about each in that terrible few months apart; especially our dire need for each other. We still have our highs and our lows as with all relationships, but we always talk it through. We try to instill this idea with our children; being open, honest and talking.

But we are not perfect. Lily sure knows how to needle me if she is feeling willful, but she also knows how to pamper me and get round me if she wants to. She has turned out a wonderful business partner, a respected country doctor and a doting Mother.

Me? I admit that early in our marriage I was not always the greatest partner. I believe that the visit from Suzie put a lot of my demons to rest and gave meaning to part of my life.

Lily and I spend a lot of time with charities mainly tackling child abuse in many forms. I feel privileged in my occupation to be able to give some tangible help. And I look back at the time of the lockdown to the two women that inspired my path in a most unusual way.

"Oh come on Connor, what's got into you? Will you stop mucking around down here and come to bed."