My name is Anita Singh. I live in a small town of Uttar Pradesh. Presently I am 32 years of age, married. I got married at the age of 25 to Rajesh, who was a shop-owner. My married life started smooth and I was happy with everything. Rajesh and I shared a very good and close relation. My sex life also was quite regular and satisfactory. But bitterness in my life started when Rajesh and I decided we are going to have an issue after two years of our marriage. When even after one year of unprotected copulation I was not getting pregnant, we were very concerned. There was pressure from my in laws also. I was really confused why this was happening. I had my periods regularly and physically also I had a very developed figure from my teenage itself. I never thought that I could land up in such a problem!
I was 27 years then, had a somewhat fair complexion, 5 feet 2 inches height, oval face, and amply built. As I said I had a developed figure from my teens with 32 breast size and flaring hips from my college days. I was conscious about my diet so that I do not add additional flesh on my hips. I always got a good male attention on road or at any gathering, which I could sense, though I was pretty conservative in dressing. In that sense I was very shy regarding these matters, which was really due to my upbringing and the small town we lived in. I was adequately gifted by god at proper places in my body though with somewhat heavy bottoms. I was pretty active and fit with regular menses.
Rajesh took me to a number of doctors. I was very shy initially though we went to female gynecologists. But I felt very embarrassed in that process of examination where each time I had to open my sari, salwar kamiz, or whatever I was wearing and even pull down my panty. To tell honestly I had a real turn on when the doctor touched my private organs for examining purpose, though she was a female I got triggered she was actually examined my breasts or nipples or my hairy pussy. I instantly got wetness down there and it reflected very apparently on my panty, which was rather uncomfortable for me. The doctors gave medicines and asked for lab tests, but there was no result.
Rajesh then took me to the city doctor, but I made him very clear that I would go for a checkup only to a lady doctor. But all those resulted in nothing positive. My mother-in-law took me to homeopaths, who also could not yield any result for me. The relation between Rajesh and me was also getting bitter. At the same time I realized I was not at all getting any sexual pleasure out of copulation, rather it seemed to be an exercise to achieve something. Days went by and I did not even realize that another year was gone! I was 28 years by then. I remained so depressed all day and had a real hard time.
Then one day Rajesh told me that he has decided to go to a male gynecologist who is an expert in infertility cases in the city again. I was really very rigid about not going to the male gynecologist out of my shyness. I think any normal lady would avoid that because the fact remains you have to expose your breasts and pussy in front of a male, may it be for examination purpose. So I was really rigid on my stand about avoiding a male doctor and before this could land up in a harsh confrontation between my husband and me, one of my neighbors, Meera, had a proposal to my mother-in-law.
If I can quote my neighbor’s words to my mother-in-law,
”Aunty-ji, you have tried so many doctors for Anita, but you did not get any result. Anita told she even went to the city for a checkup. You applied homeopath also, but she is not yet blessed with a child. Look at her; she looks so depressed all day. Why don’t you take Anita to Rampur to Guru-ji’s ashram Aunty-ji? Two of my relatives got result; they were childless for 4-5 years. They went to him, took “diksha” and his herbal medications changed their lives. And our Anita is only married for three years! Before her case goes too worse, you make a visit to Guru-ji, as he can do miracles.”
Its not that we had not heard of this sadhu-baba at Rampur, but his ashram was very far off from our town. He had cured some critical diseases and some childless cases also. I was really searching a way to avoid this male doctor checkup and at the same time a hope to get a child made me readily jump into this proposal. My mother-in-law also convinced my husband by saying,<br />
“Rajesh, I think what Meera says makes sense. Since we have tried some doctors and tests were all normal, lets not waste more time on that right now. These sadhu-babas really can do miracles and as Meera was saying the herbal medicines worked for his relatives who were childless for 5 years.”
In my mind I was so thankful to Meera for her timely idea. At that point I was indeed trying my best to avoid probing my body by a male gynecologist, but little could I guess that this ashram visit would actually be a shameful remembrance for me lifelong. The way I was exploited in the name of “diksha”, in the name of “treatment”, and in the name of “jagya” makes me feel so ashamed even today, after so many years. I was exploited so very cleverly and emphatically at every level and my desire to get a child was so high that I allowed everything crossing every limit of decency and modesty.
It was one week stay in the ashram of Guru-ji at Rampur and within that period I had to allow at least half a dozen males to enjoy my 28-year-old fully matured figure from all angles – seeing, touching, examining, groping, squeezing, and all one can think of except fucking, because that crowning was done by Guru-ji himself! I had to shed all my shyness and was virtually treated like a slut during my treatment under Guru-ji. I am really amazed when I look back at those seven days about how I allowed all that! Probably Guru-ji’s mesmerizing personality and my eventual desire to get the child at all cost made me act such lewdly from a shy modest housewife.
Rampur. Guru-ji’s ashram was situated here, a small village, which was surrounded by mountains on all the sides. There was a big pond with very clear water just beside the ashram, which made it like a heaven with cool breeze blowing and there was absolutely no signs of pollution. My mother-in-law came with me. Rajesh ultimately was not able to make it with me, my mother-in-law took me there. There was a substantial crowd waiting for darshan of Guru-ji. We had made an appointment so that we could talk privately to him regarding my problem. I was a quite afraid seeing Guru-ji, who was hugely built, almost 6 feet in height with a stout figure. He was wearing a saffron dress and his voice was calm and reverberating. A feeling of obedience would automatically come seeing and listening to this man.
My mother-in-law narrated about my purpose of visit and Guru-ji listened to it very intently. There were two more persons who were his disciples probably in that room apart from me, my mother-in-law and Guru-ji. One of them was taking some notes as my mother-in-law was detailing my problem.
Guru-ji: Mata-ji, I am glad that you have brought your bahu to me regarding this problem. I want to make one thing very clear that I cannot do miracles, but if she takes ‘diksha’ under me and performs what I suggest faithfully, she would not return with empty hands. Mata-ji, the treatment path is not easy in these cases and if your bahu can walk on that path, there is no reason why she would not have a child in a year’s time. Of course, provided after the treatment, she meets with her husband on my suggested days.
The words were so convincing that I was more than eager to take ‘diksha’ under him and start the ‘treatment’ at that very moment. My mother-in-law also expressed the same to Guru-ji.
Guru-ji: Mata-ji, before you agree you should first know my norms. I do not keep any devotee in darkness. There are three stages in achieving the coveted goal of being a mother here. They are ‘diksha’, ‘herbal treatment’ and ‘jagya’. Your bahu has to stay here for five days at a stretch to complete the diksha and the herbal treatment starting from a full moon night. If I feel that is enough to attain the goal, she might leave on the sixth day, but if a ‘jagya’ is required depending on her case, she would have to stay for another two days making it 7 continuous days. She has to abide by my ashram rules, which my disciple will tell you.
We were listening to his mesmeric voice and I must say it had some hypnotic effect. I did not see any offensive norms in what he said and so was my mother-in-law and I gave the nod to take ‘diskha’ and do the ‘treatment’ under him.
Guru-ji: Sanjeev, please note down her personal details before proceeding and let her know in details about ashram rules and regulations. Beti, you go with him to the next room. Mata-ji, you can ask me if you have any other questions and concerns other than this issue.
I alighted from the ground and followed Guru-ji’s disciple, Sanjeev. We went to the adjacent room and he asked me to sit to the couch that was there in that room. He remained standing. He was around my age only, around 35-40 years with an average body and a calm, smiling face.
Sanjeev: Madam, my name is Sanjeev. You just don’t worry since you have come to Guru-ji. I have seen several women who benefitted from his unique and very special treatment. But you have to obey it completely as he says.
I said, “Yes of course. I will definitely try to do that. I have been suffering for this now almost three years.”
Sanjeev: Don’t worry Madam. Let me now tell you about what you have to do. You will appear here next Monday afternoon before 7:00 p.m. That day is a full moon night, so you will have ‘diksha’. Madam, please do not bring your sari etc. as our ashram has a dress code and you will be given saris, which are specially washed with herbal detergents, and also Madam, no ornaments are allowed here. Actually speaking we offer everything here, so there is no need to bring anything.
I was a bit puzzled about the “sari” part, as I have not seen any woman in the ashram till then. He just mentioned about wearing the saffron sari, but what about blouse and petticoat. I cannot just wear a sari. Sanjeev probably understood what I was wondering.
Sanjeev: Madam, you must have noticed that Guru-ji told me to note your “personal details”, so you do not worry about blouse etc. In our ashram we provide everything staring from hair clip to slippers.
He laughed a little and I also was relieved. Still I was wondering about my undergarments; will the ashram provide that also I was puzzled!
Sanjeev: Madam, please answer to my questions honestly. And Madam one thing please do not feel shy here and don't be introvert because you have come here for a goal and we are just here to make you achieve that.
I felt very confident hearing Sanjeev's words, otherwise was a bit nervous.
Sanjeev: Do you have regular periods Madam?
Me: Yes, very rarely do I miss.
Sanjeev: When did you last have an irregular period?
Me: Three to four months back may be. I took some medicine and cleared it.
Sanjeev: What's your approximate period date Madam?
Me: 22nd or 23rd of a month.
Sanjeev was noting down as I was answering. So he was not in direct eye contact with me, so I was finding it easy to answer such personal questions. Otherwise I have never talked about these to anyone except to the doctors I visited.
Sanjeev: Madam do you have heavy periods or moderate? Do you feel any additional pain, discomfort other than the normal?
Me: Moderate, 2-3 days. No, normal.
Sanjeev: Okay Madam, rest of the more intimate details will be taken up by Guru-ji when you will be in the ashram.
I was a bit comfortable hearing that though was thinking on what intimate details would the Guru-ji take from me. Sanjeev continued the conversation and I almost stammered answering his next question feeling very shy sharing this sort of information to an unknown male.
Sanjeev: Madam, now about ashram dress code. We will give you four herbal washed saffron saris for your seven-day stay. Generally I have seen that is sufficient, but we do have additional also if needed. What is the size that your wear? I mean blouse
Me: Err, I mean why do you need that?
I knew that was foolish to ask, but it came out just spontaneous and went into a more uncomfortable conversation.
Sanjeev: Madam, in our ashram we provide sari, blouse and petticoat to the women who come for diskha and treatment. So for that only I need the size.
Me: Okay, its 32.
I noticed Sanjeev noted the figure and looked for a second directly at my erect boobs under the cover of my blouse and sari as if trying to measure the 32 size through his eyes.
Sanjeev: Madam, since mostly the women who come for diksha to Guru-ji are from rural areas and as you also know many of them do not wear any undergarment, we have no provision for that. But since you are coming from the town, please carry your undergarments, but remember to get it sterilized here herbally, as you are not allowed to wear anything, which is nonsterile after diksha.
I nodded with a smiling face and was a lot relieved hearing this.
Sanjeev: Thanks Madam. You can leave now and appear here on Monday afternoon. .
I returned with my mother-in-law who sounded very optimistic about the Guru-ji as she had a talk while I was in the other room with Sanjeev and she assured me not to get tensed being there alone, but to faithfully obey Guru-ji as he instructs. I was happy overall, but little could I anticipate what was in store for me in those seven days in the ashram.
I was 27 years then, had a somewhat fair complexion, 5 feet 2 inches height, oval face, and amply built. As I said I had a developed figure from my teens with 32 breast size and flaring hips from my college days. I was conscious about my diet so that I do not add additional flesh on my hips. I always got a good male attention on road or at any gathering, which I could sense, though I was pretty conservative in dressing. In that sense I was very shy regarding these matters, which was really due to my upbringing and the small town we lived in. I was adequately gifted by god at proper places in my body though with somewhat heavy bottoms. I was pretty active and fit with regular menses.
Rajesh took me to a number of doctors. I was very shy initially though we went to female gynecologists. But I felt very embarrassed in that process of examination where each time I had to open my sari, salwar kamiz, or whatever I was wearing and even pull down my panty. To tell honestly I had a real turn on when the doctor touched my private organs for examining purpose, though she was a female I got triggered she was actually examined my breasts or nipples or my hairy pussy. I instantly got wetness down there and it reflected very apparently on my panty, which was rather uncomfortable for me. The doctors gave medicines and asked for lab tests, but there was no result.
Rajesh then took me to the city doctor, but I made him very clear that I would go for a checkup only to a lady doctor. But all those resulted in nothing positive. My mother-in-law took me to homeopaths, who also could not yield any result for me. The relation between Rajesh and me was also getting bitter. At the same time I realized I was not at all getting any sexual pleasure out of copulation, rather it seemed to be an exercise to achieve something. Days went by and I did not even realize that another year was gone! I was 28 years by then. I remained so depressed all day and had a real hard time.
Then one day Rajesh told me that he has decided to go to a male gynecologist who is an expert in infertility cases in the city again. I was really very rigid about not going to the male gynecologist out of my shyness. I think any normal lady would avoid that because the fact remains you have to expose your breasts and pussy in front of a male, may it be for examination purpose. So I was really rigid on my stand about avoiding a male doctor and before this could land up in a harsh confrontation between my husband and me, one of my neighbors, Meera, had a proposal to my mother-in-law.
If I can quote my neighbor’s words to my mother-in-law,
”Aunty-ji, you have tried so many doctors for Anita, but you did not get any result. Anita told she even went to the city for a checkup. You applied homeopath also, but she is not yet blessed with a child. Look at her; she looks so depressed all day. Why don’t you take Anita to Rampur to Guru-ji’s ashram Aunty-ji? Two of my relatives got result; they were childless for 4-5 years. They went to him, took “diksha” and his herbal medications changed their lives. And our Anita is only married for three years! Before her case goes too worse, you make a visit to Guru-ji, as he can do miracles.”
Its not that we had not heard of this sadhu-baba at Rampur, but his ashram was very far off from our town. He had cured some critical diseases and some childless cases also. I was really searching a way to avoid this male doctor checkup and at the same time a hope to get a child made me readily jump into this proposal. My mother-in-law also convinced my husband by saying,<br />
“Rajesh, I think what Meera says makes sense. Since we have tried some doctors and tests were all normal, lets not waste more time on that right now. These sadhu-babas really can do miracles and as Meera was saying the herbal medicines worked for his relatives who were childless for 5 years.”
In my mind I was so thankful to Meera for her timely idea. At that point I was indeed trying my best to avoid probing my body by a male gynecologist, but little could I guess that this ashram visit would actually be a shameful remembrance for me lifelong. The way I was exploited in the name of “diksha”, in the name of “treatment”, and in the name of “jagya” makes me feel so ashamed even today, after so many years. I was exploited so very cleverly and emphatically at every level and my desire to get a child was so high that I allowed everything crossing every limit of decency and modesty.
It was one week stay in the ashram of Guru-ji at Rampur and within that period I had to allow at least half a dozen males to enjoy my 28-year-old fully matured figure from all angles – seeing, touching, examining, groping, squeezing, and all one can think of except fucking, because that crowning was done by Guru-ji himself! I had to shed all my shyness and was virtually treated like a slut during my treatment under Guru-ji. I am really amazed when I look back at those seven days about how I allowed all that! Probably Guru-ji’s mesmerizing personality and my eventual desire to get the child at all cost made me act such lewdly from a shy modest housewife.
Rampur. Guru-ji’s ashram was situated here, a small village, which was surrounded by mountains on all the sides. There was a big pond with very clear water just beside the ashram, which made it like a heaven with cool breeze blowing and there was absolutely no signs of pollution. My mother-in-law came with me. Rajesh ultimately was not able to make it with me, my mother-in-law took me there. There was a substantial crowd waiting for darshan of Guru-ji. We had made an appointment so that we could talk privately to him regarding my problem. I was a quite afraid seeing Guru-ji, who was hugely built, almost 6 feet in height with a stout figure. He was wearing a saffron dress and his voice was calm and reverberating. A feeling of obedience would automatically come seeing and listening to this man.
My mother-in-law narrated about my purpose of visit and Guru-ji listened to it very intently. There were two more persons who were his disciples probably in that room apart from me, my mother-in-law and Guru-ji. One of them was taking some notes as my mother-in-law was detailing my problem.
Guru-ji: Mata-ji, I am glad that you have brought your bahu to me regarding this problem. I want to make one thing very clear that I cannot do miracles, but if she takes ‘diksha’ under me and performs what I suggest faithfully, she would not return with empty hands. Mata-ji, the treatment path is not easy in these cases and if your bahu can walk on that path, there is no reason why she would not have a child in a year’s time. Of course, provided after the treatment, she meets with her husband on my suggested days.
The words were so convincing that I was more than eager to take ‘diksha’ under him and start the ‘treatment’ at that very moment. My mother-in-law also expressed the same to Guru-ji.
Guru-ji: Mata-ji, before you agree you should first know my norms. I do not keep any devotee in darkness. There are three stages in achieving the coveted goal of being a mother here. They are ‘diksha’, ‘herbal treatment’ and ‘jagya’. Your bahu has to stay here for five days at a stretch to complete the diksha and the herbal treatment starting from a full moon night. If I feel that is enough to attain the goal, she might leave on the sixth day, but if a ‘jagya’ is required depending on her case, she would have to stay for another two days making it 7 continuous days. She has to abide by my ashram rules, which my disciple will tell you.
We were listening to his mesmeric voice and I must say it had some hypnotic effect. I did not see any offensive norms in what he said and so was my mother-in-law and I gave the nod to take ‘diskha’ and do the ‘treatment’ under him.
Guru-ji: Sanjeev, please note down her personal details before proceeding and let her know in details about ashram rules and regulations. Beti, you go with him to the next room. Mata-ji, you can ask me if you have any other questions and concerns other than this issue.
I alighted from the ground and followed Guru-ji’s disciple, Sanjeev. We went to the adjacent room and he asked me to sit to the couch that was there in that room. He remained standing. He was around my age only, around 35-40 years with an average body and a calm, smiling face.
Sanjeev: Madam, my name is Sanjeev. You just don’t worry since you have come to Guru-ji. I have seen several women who benefitted from his unique and very special treatment. But you have to obey it completely as he says.
I said, “Yes of course. I will definitely try to do that. I have been suffering for this now almost three years.”
Sanjeev: Don’t worry Madam. Let me now tell you about what you have to do. You will appear here next Monday afternoon before 7:00 p.m. That day is a full moon night, so you will have ‘diksha’. Madam, please do not bring your sari etc. as our ashram has a dress code and you will be given saris, which are specially washed with herbal detergents, and also Madam, no ornaments are allowed here. Actually speaking we offer everything here, so there is no need to bring anything.
I was a bit puzzled about the “sari” part, as I have not seen any woman in the ashram till then. He just mentioned about wearing the saffron sari, but what about blouse and petticoat. I cannot just wear a sari. Sanjeev probably understood what I was wondering.
Sanjeev: Madam, you must have noticed that Guru-ji told me to note your “personal details”, so you do not worry about blouse etc. In our ashram we provide everything staring from hair clip to slippers.
He laughed a little and I also was relieved. Still I was wondering about my undergarments; will the ashram provide that also I was puzzled!
Sanjeev: Madam, please answer to my questions honestly. And Madam one thing please do not feel shy here and don't be introvert because you have come here for a goal and we are just here to make you achieve that.
I felt very confident hearing Sanjeev's words, otherwise was a bit nervous.
Sanjeev: Do you have regular periods Madam?
Me: Yes, very rarely do I miss.
Sanjeev: When did you last have an irregular period?
Me: Three to four months back may be. I took some medicine and cleared it.
Sanjeev: What's your approximate period date Madam?
Me: 22nd or 23rd of a month.
Sanjeev was noting down as I was answering. So he was not in direct eye contact with me, so I was finding it easy to answer such personal questions. Otherwise I have never talked about these to anyone except to the doctors I visited.
Sanjeev: Madam do you have heavy periods or moderate? Do you feel any additional pain, discomfort other than the normal?
Me: Moderate, 2-3 days. No, normal.
Sanjeev: Okay Madam, rest of the more intimate details will be taken up by Guru-ji when you will be in the ashram.
I was a bit comfortable hearing that though was thinking on what intimate details would the Guru-ji take from me. Sanjeev continued the conversation and I almost stammered answering his next question feeling very shy sharing this sort of information to an unknown male.
Sanjeev: Madam, now about ashram dress code. We will give you four herbal washed saffron saris for your seven-day stay. Generally I have seen that is sufficient, but we do have additional also if needed. What is the size that your wear? I mean blouse
Me: Err, I mean why do you need that?
I knew that was foolish to ask, but it came out just spontaneous and went into a more uncomfortable conversation.
Sanjeev: Madam, in our ashram we provide sari, blouse and petticoat to the women who come for diskha and treatment. So for that only I need the size.
Me: Okay, its 32.
I noticed Sanjeev noted the figure and looked for a second directly at my erect boobs under the cover of my blouse and sari as if trying to measure the 32 size through his eyes.
Sanjeev: Madam, since mostly the women who come for diksha to Guru-ji are from rural areas and as you also know many of them do not wear any undergarment, we have no provision for that. But since you are coming from the town, please carry your undergarments, but remember to get it sterilized here herbally, as you are not allowed to wear anything, which is nonsterile after diksha.
I nodded with a smiling face and was a lot relieved hearing this.
Sanjeev: Thanks Madam. You can leave now and appear here on Monday afternoon. .
I returned with my mother-in-law who sounded very optimistic about the Guru-ji as she had a talk while I was in the other room with Sanjeev and she assured me not to get tensed being there alone, but to faithfully obey Guru-ji as he instructs. I was happy overall, but little could I anticipate what was in store for me in those seven days in the ashram.
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