The diksha room was somewhat bigger than the room I was staying. There were pictures of various gods and goddesses. There was a throne-like structure where there was a small stature garlanded with lots of flowers and leaves. The whole atmosphere was smoky as there were several agarbattis burning simultaneously. There was Sanjeev and Guru-ji in the room. I did get quite nervous coming in that room. Nirmal left the place closing the door behind me.
Guru-ji: Anita, its time for your diksha. Let me brief you about this. You will take diksha under me, but we are all serving the Linga Maharaj. We are all disciples of him and you will also become one in a short time. Your diksha is different from us as you are taking this keeping in mind of a goal of getting pregnant. So it will also not feature the full rituals. Jai Linga Maharaj. Anita, Linga Maharaj is based on miniature Amarnath of Kashmir. It has supreme power and if you devote yourself completely to him, he can do wonders for you. But if there is any shortfall in the dedication, you will not get the desired result. Jai Linga Maharaj
Sanjeev also chanted Jai Linga Maharaj and asked me to chant too. I also said Jai Linga Maharaj, but never realized what I was chanting!
Guru-ji: Anita, diksha to Linga Maharaj is cleaning your body and soul. So, first I want you to clean your body. You go to the toilet, have a bath with the water in the bucket, which is a special mixture of herbs with water and roll the linga over every part of your body.
Saying that he handed me over the linga, which I saw was a black stone made 6-7 inches long one-inch broad structure with a rather broad base at one end. It was looking like an egg roll, that we have from fast food centers, but standing on a small base. I was correlating it with an egg roll in my mind, but never could realize Guru-ji was signifying it with the male linga meaning penis!
Guru-ji: Anita, wet your body with the herbal water and then soap with the foam in the mug. Make sure to touch the linga to every part of your body as you rub soap while bathing.
Me: Okay Guru-ji.
Guru-ji: Since you are taking diksha for childbirth, you chant Jai Linga Maharaj three times after touching the linga on your sex organs.
I nodded my head though was feeling a bit uneasy hearing the word sex organ from Guru-ji's mouth, but my cheeks turned red like a teenager as Guru-ji elaborated on that.
Guru-ji: Anita, generally women think that sex organ is the vulva or vagina, but actually sex organs relate to much more. Let me hear first what is your idea of sex organs. Do not be shy, as you must open your mind here.
My heart was beating fast hearing such a question. I was stuttering and searching for words.
Me: I mean those organs err which are involved I mean in intercourse.
I was unable to speak more before two males naming my sex organs.
Guru-ji: Anita, you have to open up, open your mind, talk freely, and do not keep any inhibition. Okay, just name the organs where you will chant the mantra.
Now I had to speak and leaving all shyness I narrated what was asked for.
Me: I will chant the mantra on my err breasts and my pussy.
Guru-ji: Okay Anita. I can understand your shyness. You have named only the two major organs. You said you will chant mantra when you touch the linga on your breasts, what about your nipples? Do they have any role when you have intercourse with your husband or not?
I shamefully nodded my head. I was feeling thirsty also. Only moments ago I was trying to tease Nirmal, but now it seemed I am in more experienced hands!
Guru-ji: What about your hips Anita? Do you not consider it as a sex organ? Does it excite you or not when you are touched there?
Again I had nothing to say, but to nod. I was looking at the ground and my heart beating fast. But Guru-ji's voice was so clam and he was not even once looking at my braless boobs, his eyes were riveted on my face.
Guru-ji: So we tend to miss out so many things, you see. So every part of your body that excites you while having sex, you should chant the mantra three times. Your breasts, nipples, hips, vagina, thighs, and of course lips. You need to obey me perfectly to attain your goal.
Sanjeev: Madam, here is your clothes that you will wear after the bath.
He handed me over a saffron sari, blouse, and petticoat. And again there was no undergarment for me to wear. I went to the bathroom and it suddenly seemed to me that since Guru-ji was sitting on floor it should be a grand view from him looking at my undulating fleshy ass from that angle as I walked to the toilet. My husband often told me that my buttocks jerk more attractively if I am not wearing a panty. I also knew that as my buttocks are a bit heavy, the elastic grip of the panty keeps them in somewhat of a check. This made me more conscious in my walking and was feeling very, very awkward.
But my mind soon cursed me for thinking in such a way about Guru-ji. I realized that he is a male who is over these silly things. I was feeling rather guilty the next moment for thinking like that about him.
I entered the bathroom and found the water for my bath, the foam and the Linga. I closed the door only to find myself in a sea of luminosity! I was certainly very amazed at the lighting arrangement in this toilet. There were two at least 100-watt bulbs glowing in that small area, which was rather odd. I was almost feeling the heat of the bulbs in that small area. This toilet door had no top-open business like the one I experienced in my room and also there were hooks on the door, but I wondered why there was so bright light arrangement in the bathroom.
I got out of my sari, but was feeling very clumsy in that intense illumination, it was like bathing in open daylight. I unbuttoned my blouse and my mango-like boobs sprung out free and stood stiff. I was naked the next moment as the petticoat found the hook at the toilet door. I started bathing as I was instructed with the herbal water, which had a hypnotic scent. I foamed myself and then took the Linga, which was not heavy at all though made of stone. I touched it on my left breast and said Jai Linga Maharaj as was directed by Guru-ji. As it touched my naked breast, for a moment I felt like a male hand touching my globe. I shivered momentarily and then touched it on my right breast too and said Jai Linga Maharaj.
I never was for a moment able to guess that this whole bathing session with me touching my naked buxom and fleshy 28-year-old body with the Linga and saying Jai Linga Maharaj was actually filmed on tape and that was the reason why there were a couple of high power bulbs glowing in the toilet.
I finished my Linga action all over my body including my pussy and ass cheeks. I was feeling rather hot doing this even after the bath. I dried myself with the towel and started getting into the saffron ashram attire.
Even initially I was having doubts regarding this, now it confirmed when I tried to wear it. The blouse was fairly tight when I tried to button it. I doubt this was a 32-size blouse. The cutting etc. of the blouse though was very decent, but I had to struggle to get my twin globes into it, as the cups were rather small. I am sure if I had worn a bra, it would have been impossible to button it fully. Somehow I managed to wear it, but could not button the top hook of the blouse, it was so tight there and ample fair cleavage remained exposed over my blouse. I made sure that the pallu covers it fully and went out of the toilet.
Guru-ji: Good, so you are done with your bath. Did you do as I said Anita?
Me: Yes Guru-ji. I said Jai Linga Maharaj three times as you instructed.
Guru-ji: Okay, now sit down here and worship to Linga Maharaj.
He started performing puja chanting several mantras and sometimes with my name and clan included. I sat there with closed hands and worshipped to Linga Maharaj about a successful treatment under Guru-ji and conceiving soon. Sanjeev was also there helping Guru-ji perform the puja. The puja for diksha went for almost half-an-hour and at the end Guru-ji came up to me and put a red tilak on my forehead and I respectfully touched his feet. As I bent down, I realized that my blouse got stretched and carved more on my matured boobs, giving me a feeling that the hook would break any moment. Thankfully that didn't happen saving me from more embarrassing moments.
Guru-ji: Now your diksha is complete. You are a disciple of me and devoted to Linga Maharaj. Jai Linga Maharaj!
Me: Jai Linga Maharaj!
Guru-ji: Tomorrow morning we will meet at 06:30 am and I will let you know of your routine in the ashram and your treatment plan. You can go now Anita.
I went out of the diksha room and went to my room with Sanjeev accompanying me.
Sanjeev: Good night Madam, I will call you at 06:15 am and will also deliver your sterilized undergarments. Nirmal will come with your dinner.
I was feeling very fresh I do not know why may be after that herbal water bath and was very pleased the way Guru-ji performed the puja. I took rest on the cot for sometime.
Knock! Knock!
Someone was knocking at my door. Since I was lying alone and the blouse that Sanjeev gave for me to wear was too tight, I had opened the hooks and was resting in that fashion, I swiftly buttoned the last three hooks of my blouse and wrapped my sari round me. The first two hooks remained open leaving almost half of my breasts oozing out above my saffron blouse. I was anticipating Nirmal and no one else now, it was nearly 10 O clock at night, he must have come with the dinner.
My guess my correct and it was the dwarfish disciple, Nirmal, but my other guess was wrong. He did not come with the dinner!
Nirmal: Madam, how was the diksha?
Me: Okay, I really liked Guru-ji's puja.
Nirmal: Jai Linga Maharaj. Keep faith on Guru-ji, he will surpass all obstacles in your life.
He was smiling and his overall appearance amused me again. Frankly I was feeling very fresh with the herbal bath and hot too, as each time I thought of my bathing under such vivid lights, I was getting a faster heart beat. And now seeing this dwarf male once more, I thought of teasing him.
Nirmal: Madam, shall I bring the dinner for you?
Me: No, its only 10:00, I generally have dinner after 10:30 p.m.
I paused and little and then continued without giving him a chance to speak.
Me: But going back to our previous chat, you know, Nirmal, I later thought on your words and you were very right! The size I have grown to, I cannot wear a school uniform skirt. So I take back my words.
It was worth seeing Nirmal's face. It was as if haat aya par muh na laga type situation for him. The dwarf was looking so desperate and looked even funnier now. He did not expect that I would not allow him a chance on the school uniform topic at all.
Nirmal: Bur Madam, I mean… you said you would try once.
Me: Yes that was my initial thought, but I buy your words that I would not be able to wear a school skirt, as it will be too tight for my figure.
I avoided direct words denoting to my full-sized body like thighs or buttocks. Nirmal was looking as if he has lost something very precious, but I did not want to discourage him fully and altered the topic.
Me: But Nirmal, I am having a different problem. Can you sort that out?
Nirmal's face was still miserable, to say the least, but he looked up to listen to my problem.
Me: Actually the blouse that Sanjeev have given is not fitting me at all. Can you bring me another one?
Nirmal's eyes as if lit up! He probably thought my twin mangoes would be a more enjoyable sight for him rather than my pumpkin ass.
Nirmal: Didn't Sanjeev give you a 32-size blouse?
My eyebrows went up! He knows the size I told to Sanjeev in my interview privately. Everybody in the ashram knows my boob size is 32!
Me: Yes, but it is very tight. I doubt it is of proper size.
Nirmal: No, no Madam. The size is right for sure as we have separate bunch for each size.
Me: Can't be Nirmal, I use 32 blouses for the last two years, but why this one is so tight here?
I subtly pointed my hand to my fully developed milk tanks, as I wanted to provoke him a bit. Nirmal also took the opportunity and his face was again looking humorous with his jaws slightly drooping down.
Nirmal: Madam, since these are readymade blouses, you are feeling the tightness.
I was yet again getting peculiar fun playing with words with this middle-aged dwarf. I had neither talked to any male like this before, not had been in such a situation as in this ashram.
Me: Nirmal, it's so tight, I could not button the top hook.
Nirmal now looked directly to my youthful braless boobs and seemed as if he was trying to visualize my posture standing in front of him with the top hook open of my blouse. And in fact, if I actually had pulled my sari pallu down my condition was hugely indecent. I was not wearing a bra and through the ultra-tight blouse my nipples were distinctly visible and since the top hook of my blouse was open, I was advertising adequate cleavage show.
Nirmal: Oh Madam, then its really a problem. How can you be in that position? Shall I arrange another one for you Madam?
He seemed so worried for this housewife!
Me: Its already nighttime Nirmal and I will take my clothes off and wear the nightgown. So I do not require another blouse now.
I wanted to see his reaction to such direct comments. His comic facial expression was added on by a slight bulge in his crotch area. I felt a raced beat in my heart noticing this.
Nirmal: Okay Madam. You can change in my absence and by that time I will bring you the dinner.
It was a crafty thinking from Nirmal's part I thought for his visual pleasure, as he knew I had no undies to wear and would look rather sexy that way in any nightdress whatsoever. I nodded to him, thinking that if I do not look decent enough, I will not wear it in front of him. He went off to bring my dinner.
I closed the door behind Nirmal and went to the cupboard where the nightdress that Sanjeev gave was kept. I seriously did not notice it previously. Now taking it in my hands I felt pretty secured that it was not any flimsy dress. It was also saffron colored, coarse material cloth stitched like a short nighty. It was with sleeves, thank god, and appeared decent to me though the length was short.
I did not go to the toilet as the room door was closed and started changing into it. I was nude in a flash and was much relieved opening that tight blouse though a couple of hooks were open throughout Nirmal's presence. My boobs were actually paining as the blouse cups were very tight on my youthful peaks. I wore the nighty over my head and looked in the mirror. The rough materials of the nighty touching my nipples made them harden instantly. Never in my life did I get a turn on so many times in a day like this.
Little did I know then that this was nothing in comparison to what's been waiting for me!
The dress was quite flowing and as the material was thick enough, my mature figure was not very evident through it. The dress ended just below my knees and hence I was not feeling too much exposed. After having looks at my figure wearing the nighty from different angles, I was quite convinced that am not looking vulgar without my undergarments. The only problem was my swollen nipple impressions, which no one standing in front of me could miss, especially any male. But I thought there was no way I could hide that and waited for Nirmal.
In no time, Nirmal was back. He was holding a tray that had my dinner, which included chapatis, dal, and vegetable. He was ogling at me I noticed and I tried to limit my movements to restrain the jiggling movement of my round, freely hanging breasts.
Nirmal: I can wait and you can have your dinner and if you want anything more I can bring that.
Me: So kind of you Nirmal.
I pulled the table on which the dinner was kept near the cot and sat on the cot to have the food. But as soon as I sat I became very conscious as my nighty rose up a fair distance exposing my knees completely. And without even looking up to him, I could bet Nirmal's eyes were glued to my exposed legs and knees.
Nirmal: Madam, you take your dinner and I will sit here.
Saying that without even giving me any chance to stop, he sat on the floor some feet away from me. Initially I thought that since they lead a sagacious life, they are habituated to sit on the floor and moreover, there was no chair in the room, so Nirmal sat on the ground. But the next moment I comprehended the wickedness of this dwarf. Being a small man his eye level is itself much lower than normal males and now sitting on the floor, he was actually getting an upskirt view.
I was extremely alert the next moment, as I was not wearing a panty even and closed my legs as far as possible. I tried to stretch the cloth of the nighty a bit lower, but my plump ass was not allowing that. I looked down at Nirmal and his eyes were on my legs, but there was a dissatisfied facial expression also as I had closed my legs and believe me, it again made me smile. It was so funny looking.
I finished my dinner as quickly as possible and went to the toilet to wash hands. Since Nirmal was seated still, he enjoyed a very appealing rear view of my swaying buttocks in that short nighty from a low angle, which was accented when I had to bend to pick up the towel from the floor, which was kept for drying purpose, but dropped somehow from the wall hook. Believe me, it was not a deliberate effort from my end at all, but that dwarf was lucky enough to get an unrestricted view of my prominent inviting ass cheeks as the material of the nighty stretched as I had to bend down.
Nirmal left within some moments after that with the tray and bid me good night. But his eyes said as if he was rewinding my bending down posture in his mind. I was feeling very uncomfortable as a woman. When he left, I went to bed, but was restless. I was constantly thinking did I cross the limit in front of Nirmal, what did he saw actually, was I looking too indecent in that bent position? Ultimately I got out of bed and went to the toilet straight and reproduced the scene before the mirror, as the toilet-mirror was almost life size, as I told before.
I bent down to touch the wet floor of the toilet and looked through my legs at the mirror behind. Oh my god! I am looking so very tempting in that pose with my full round buttocks on display with my nighty rising up as well exposing my fair legs adequately. Any male would love to see a matured woman in that compromising pose. I was shocked to see a slight hint of my long ass crack also through the nighty! It was natural though as I was not wearing a panty. I was feeling so ashamed, so guilty, and cursed myself. After some moments I went to bed somewhat dejected with me and with the mantra to be more careful on the future days in the ashram. I muttered Jai Linga Maharaj for my actual goal, of conceiving a child, several times before going to sleep.
Madam, Madam!
I woke up hearing that voice. It took a bit of time to regroup myself from sleep, pulled down the nighty, which had pushed up exposing my fair and firm thighs and got out of bed. It was a female voice! I was really surprised by that as I did not see a woman there at least yesterday, nor did I notice that on the first day when I came to the ashram with my mother-in-law. I opened the door and there stood a middle-aged plump woman with a smiling face.
Madam, my name is Meenakshi. I am Guru-ji's disciple. I did not meet you yesterday as I was out of station for some days and had reached this morning only.
I looked at her now attentively. Meenakshi was elder than me in age, probably 35, somewhat dark in complexion with an oval face with very prominent womanly assets. She was wearing the ashram dress code. I asked her to come inside.
Me: Oh! A bit of relief seeing a woman here.
Meenakshi: Madam, there is no difference in male and female here. Guru-ji treats every disciple equally. So you don't worry at all. Jai Linga Maharaj.
I also chanted the ashram theme mantra and asked her to wait, as I wanted to go to the toilet first. When I came back to the room, I found Meenakshi had already cleaned and prepared my bed and was cleaning the room with a broom.
Meenakshi: Madam, please get ready quickly as we need to be in front of Guru-ji at 06:30 am. Here are your sterilized undergarments. Sanjeev handed over to me as they are dry now.
Me: Thanks a lot. You know yesterday the whole evening I was braless in front of these males. Think of my condition. And to make things worse, I really had a torrid time with this blouse yesterday.
Saying that I pointed the blouse to her. She smiled.
Meenakshi: Yes, Nirmal told me its cups are smaller for your breast size.
I was bewildered time and again seeing the porousness of each event in the ashram! Everyone knows everything here regarding me! Did Nirmal also tell everyone what grand view he got of my ass as I bent in front of him? I was perplexed.
Meenakshi: But no problem Madam, take Guru-ji's permission and I will do the needful.
Me: For a change of blouse size, do I really need to bother Guru-ji?
Meenakshi: Yes Madam, as per ashram rule we need to inform any change to Guru-ji, even if it is related to our clothing.
I showed her how awkward my position was as I was unable to button the two upper hooks of my blouse.
Meenakshi: Madam, you look very appealing with the buttons open. Your ones are standing erect even without the bra!
I blushed, but felt proud. I have got this compliment before also.
I turned from her now and wore my bra. It seemed I was wearing it after an era, though it was only few hours on last evening. I felt so secured wearing that and hastily wriggled up my panty with both hands to my waist and completed wearing my sari in another couple of minutes.
Guru-ji: Anita, its time for your diksha. Let me brief you about this. You will take diksha under me, but we are all serving the Linga Maharaj. We are all disciples of him and you will also become one in a short time. Your diksha is different from us as you are taking this keeping in mind of a goal of getting pregnant. So it will also not feature the full rituals. Jai Linga Maharaj. Anita, Linga Maharaj is based on miniature Amarnath of Kashmir. It has supreme power and if you devote yourself completely to him, he can do wonders for you. But if there is any shortfall in the dedication, you will not get the desired result. Jai Linga Maharaj
Sanjeev also chanted Jai Linga Maharaj and asked me to chant too. I also said Jai Linga Maharaj, but never realized what I was chanting!
Guru-ji: Anita, diksha to Linga Maharaj is cleaning your body and soul. So, first I want you to clean your body. You go to the toilet, have a bath with the water in the bucket, which is a special mixture of herbs with water and roll the linga over every part of your body.
Saying that he handed me over the linga, which I saw was a black stone made 6-7 inches long one-inch broad structure with a rather broad base at one end. It was looking like an egg roll, that we have from fast food centers, but standing on a small base. I was correlating it with an egg roll in my mind, but never could realize Guru-ji was signifying it with the male linga meaning penis!
Guru-ji: Anita, wet your body with the herbal water and then soap with the foam in the mug. Make sure to touch the linga to every part of your body as you rub soap while bathing.
Me: Okay Guru-ji.
Guru-ji: Since you are taking diksha for childbirth, you chant Jai Linga Maharaj three times after touching the linga on your sex organs.
I nodded my head though was feeling a bit uneasy hearing the word sex organ from Guru-ji's mouth, but my cheeks turned red like a teenager as Guru-ji elaborated on that.
Guru-ji: Anita, generally women think that sex organ is the vulva or vagina, but actually sex organs relate to much more. Let me hear first what is your idea of sex organs. Do not be shy, as you must open your mind here.
My heart was beating fast hearing such a question. I was stuttering and searching for words.
Me: I mean those organs err which are involved I mean in intercourse.
I was unable to speak more before two males naming my sex organs.
Guru-ji: Anita, you have to open up, open your mind, talk freely, and do not keep any inhibition. Okay, just name the organs where you will chant the mantra.
Now I had to speak and leaving all shyness I narrated what was asked for.
Me: I will chant the mantra on my err breasts and my pussy.
Guru-ji: Okay Anita. I can understand your shyness. You have named only the two major organs. You said you will chant mantra when you touch the linga on your breasts, what about your nipples? Do they have any role when you have intercourse with your husband or not?
I shamefully nodded my head. I was feeling thirsty also. Only moments ago I was trying to tease Nirmal, but now it seemed I am in more experienced hands!
Guru-ji: What about your hips Anita? Do you not consider it as a sex organ? Does it excite you or not when you are touched there?
Again I had nothing to say, but to nod. I was looking at the ground and my heart beating fast. But Guru-ji's voice was so clam and he was not even once looking at my braless boobs, his eyes were riveted on my face.
Guru-ji: So we tend to miss out so many things, you see. So every part of your body that excites you while having sex, you should chant the mantra three times. Your breasts, nipples, hips, vagina, thighs, and of course lips. You need to obey me perfectly to attain your goal.
Sanjeev: Madam, here is your clothes that you will wear after the bath.
He handed me over a saffron sari, blouse, and petticoat. And again there was no undergarment for me to wear. I went to the bathroom and it suddenly seemed to me that since Guru-ji was sitting on floor it should be a grand view from him looking at my undulating fleshy ass from that angle as I walked to the toilet. My husband often told me that my buttocks jerk more attractively if I am not wearing a panty. I also knew that as my buttocks are a bit heavy, the elastic grip of the panty keeps them in somewhat of a check. This made me more conscious in my walking and was feeling very, very awkward.
But my mind soon cursed me for thinking in such a way about Guru-ji. I realized that he is a male who is over these silly things. I was feeling rather guilty the next moment for thinking like that about him.
I entered the bathroom and found the water for my bath, the foam and the Linga. I closed the door only to find myself in a sea of luminosity! I was certainly very amazed at the lighting arrangement in this toilet. There were two at least 100-watt bulbs glowing in that small area, which was rather odd. I was almost feeling the heat of the bulbs in that small area. This toilet door had no top-open business like the one I experienced in my room and also there were hooks on the door, but I wondered why there was so bright light arrangement in the bathroom.
I got out of my sari, but was feeling very clumsy in that intense illumination, it was like bathing in open daylight. I unbuttoned my blouse and my mango-like boobs sprung out free and stood stiff. I was naked the next moment as the petticoat found the hook at the toilet door. I started bathing as I was instructed with the herbal water, which had a hypnotic scent. I foamed myself and then took the Linga, which was not heavy at all though made of stone. I touched it on my left breast and said Jai Linga Maharaj as was directed by Guru-ji. As it touched my naked breast, for a moment I felt like a male hand touching my globe. I shivered momentarily and then touched it on my right breast too and said Jai Linga Maharaj.
I never was for a moment able to guess that this whole bathing session with me touching my naked buxom and fleshy 28-year-old body with the Linga and saying Jai Linga Maharaj was actually filmed on tape and that was the reason why there were a couple of high power bulbs glowing in the toilet.
I finished my Linga action all over my body including my pussy and ass cheeks. I was feeling rather hot doing this even after the bath. I dried myself with the towel and started getting into the saffron ashram attire.
Even initially I was having doubts regarding this, now it confirmed when I tried to wear it. The blouse was fairly tight when I tried to button it. I doubt this was a 32-size blouse. The cutting etc. of the blouse though was very decent, but I had to struggle to get my twin globes into it, as the cups were rather small. I am sure if I had worn a bra, it would have been impossible to button it fully. Somehow I managed to wear it, but could not button the top hook of the blouse, it was so tight there and ample fair cleavage remained exposed over my blouse. I made sure that the pallu covers it fully and went out of the toilet.
Guru-ji: Good, so you are done with your bath. Did you do as I said Anita?
Me: Yes Guru-ji. I said Jai Linga Maharaj three times as you instructed.
Guru-ji: Okay, now sit down here and worship to Linga Maharaj.
He started performing puja chanting several mantras and sometimes with my name and clan included. I sat there with closed hands and worshipped to Linga Maharaj about a successful treatment under Guru-ji and conceiving soon. Sanjeev was also there helping Guru-ji perform the puja. The puja for diksha went for almost half-an-hour and at the end Guru-ji came up to me and put a red tilak on my forehead and I respectfully touched his feet. As I bent down, I realized that my blouse got stretched and carved more on my matured boobs, giving me a feeling that the hook would break any moment. Thankfully that didn't happen saving me from more embarrassing moments.
Guru-ji: Now your diksha is complete. You are a disciple of me and devoted to Linga Maharaj. Jai Linga Maharaj!
Me: Jai Linga Maharaj!
Guru-ji: Tomorrow morning we will meet at 06:30 am and I will let you know of your routine in the ashram and your treatment plan. You can go now Anita.
I went out of the diksha room and went to my room with Sanjeev accompanying me.
Sanjeev: Good night Madam, I will call you at 06:15 am and will also deliver your sterilized undergarments. Nirmal will come with your dinner.
I was feeling very fresh I do not know why may be after that herbal water bath and was very pleased the way Guru-ji performed the puja. I took rest on the cot for sometime.
Knock! Knock!
Someone was knocking at my door. Since I was lying alone and the blouse that Sanjeev gave for me to wear was too tight, I had opened the hooks and was resting in that fashion, I swiftly buttoned the last three hooks of my blouse and wrapped my sari round me. The first two hooks remained open leaving almost half of my breasts oozing out above my saffron blouse. I was anticipating Nirmal and no one else now, it was nearly 10 O clock at night, he must have come with the dinner.
My guess my correct and it was the dwarfish disciple, Nirmal, but my other guess was wrong. He did not come with the dinner!
Nirmal: Madam, how was the diksha?
Me: Okay, I really liked Guru-ji's puja.
Nirmal: Jai Linga Maharaj. Keep faith on Guru-ji, he will surpass all obstacles in your life.
He was smiling and his overall appearance amused me again. Frankly I was feeling very fresh with the herbal bath and hot too, as each time I thought of my bathing under such vivid lights, I was getting a faster heart beat. And now seeing this dwarf male once more, I thought of teasing him.
Nirmal: Madam, shall I bring the dinner for you?
Me: No, its only 10:00, I generally have dinner after 10:30 p.m.
I paused and little and then continued without giving him a chance to speak.
Me: But going back to our previous chat, you know, Nirmal, I later thought on your words and you were very right! The size I have grown to, I cannot wear a school uniform skirt. So I take back my words.
It was worth seeing Nirmal's face. It was as if haat aya par muh na laga type situation for him. The dwarf was looking so desperate and looked even funnier now. He did not expect that I would not allow him a chance on the school uniform topic at all.
Nirmal: Bur Madam, I mean… you said you would try once.
Me: Yes that was my initial thought, but I buy your words that I would not be able to wear a school skirt, as it will be too tight for my figure.
I avoided direct words denoting to my full-sized body like thighs or buttocks. Nirmal was looking as if he has lost something very precious, but I did not want to discourage him fully and altered the topic.
Me: But Nirmal, I am having a different problem. Can you sort that out?
Nirmal's face was still miserable, to say the least, but he looked up to listen to my problem.
Me: Actually the blouse that Sanjeev have given is not fitting me at all. Can you bring me another one?
Nirmal's eyes as if lit up! He probably thought my twin mangoes would be a more enjoyable sight for him rather than my pumpkin ass.
Nirmal: Didn't Sanjeev give you a 32-size blouse?
My eyebrows went up! He knows the size I told to Sanjeev in my interview privately. Everybody in the ashram knows my boob size is 32!
Me: Yes, but it is very tight. I doubt it is of proper size.
Nirmal: No, no Madam. The size is right for sure as we have separate bunch for each size.
Me: Can't be Nirmal, I use 32 blouses for the last two years, but why this one is so tight here?
I subtly pointed my hand to my fully developed milk tanks, as I wanted to provoke him a bit. Nirmal also took the opportunity and his face was again looking humorous with his jaws slightly drooping down.
Nirmal: Madam, since these are readymade blouses, you are feeling the tightness.
I was yet again getting peculiar fun playing with words with this middle-aged dwarf. I had neither talked to any male like this before, not had been in such a situation as in this ashram.
Me: Nirmal, it's so tight, I could not button the top hook.
Nirmal now looked directly to my youthful braless boobs and seemed as if he was trying to visualize my posture standing in front of him with the top hook open of my blouse. And in fact, if I actually had pulled my sari pallu down my condition was hugely indecent. I was not wearing a bra and through the ultra-tight blouse my nipples were distinctly visible and since the top hook of my blouse was open, I was advertising adequate cleavage show.
Nirmal: Oh Madam, then its really a problem. How can you be in that position? Shall I arrange another one for you Madam?
He seemed so worried for this housewife!
Me: Its already nighttime Nirmal and I will take my clothes off and wear the nightgown. So I do not require another blouse now.
I wanted to see his reaction to such direct comments. His comic facial expression was added on by a slight bulge in his crotch area. I felt a raced beat in my heart noticing this.
Nirmal: Okay Madam. You can change in my absence and by that time I will bring you the dinner.
It was a crafty thinking from Nirmal's part I thought for his visual pleasure, as he knew I had no undies to wear and would look rather sexy that way in any nightdress whatsoever. I nodded to him, thinking that if I do not look decent enough, I will not wear it in front of him. He went off to bring my dinner.
I closed the door behind Nirmal and went to the cupboard where the nightdress that Sanjeev gave was kept. I seriously did not notice it previously. Now taking it in my hands I felt pretty secured that it was not any flimsy dress. It was also saffron colored, coarse material cloth stitched like a short nighty. It was with sleeves, thank god, and appeared decent to me though the length was short.
I did not go to the toilet as the room door was closed and started changing into it. I was nude in a flash and was much relieved opening that tight blouse though a couple of hooks were open throughout Nirmal's presence. My boobs were actually paining as the blouse cups were very tight on my youthful peaks. I wore the nighty over my head and looked in the mirror. The rough materials of the nighty touching my nipples made them harden instantly. Never in my life did I get a turn on so many times in a day like this.
Little did I know then that this was nothing in comparison to what's been waiting for me!
The dress was quite flowing and as the material was thick enough, my mature figure was not very evident through it. The dress ended just below my knees and hence I was not feeling too much exposed. After having looks at my figure wearing the nighty from different angles, I was quite convinced that am not looking vulgar without my undergarments. The only problem was my swollen nipple impressions, which no one standing in front of me could miss, especially any male. But I thought there was no way I could hide that and waited for Nirmal.
In no time, Nirmal was back. He was holding a tray that had my dinner, which included chapatis, dal, and vegetable. He was ogling at me I noticed and I tried to limit my movements to restrain the jiggling movement of my round, freely hanging breasts.
Nirmal: I can wait and you can have your dinner and if you want anything more I can bring that.
Me: So kind of you Nirmal.
I pulled the table on which the dinner was kept near the cot and sat on the cot to have the food. But as soon as I sat I became very conscious as my nighty rose up a fair distance exposing my knees completely. And without even looking up to him, I could bet Nirmal's eyes were glued to my exposed legs and knees.
Nirmal: Madam, you take your dinner and I will sit here.
Saying that without even giving me any chance to stop, he sat on the floor some feet away from me. Initially I thought that since they lead a sagacious life, they are habituated to sit on the floor and moreover, there was no chair in the room, so Nirmal sat on the ground. But the next moment I comprehended the wickedness of this dwarf. Being a small man his eye level is itself much lower than normal males and now sitting on the floor, he was actually getting an upskirt view.
I was extremely alert the next moment, as I was not wearing a panty even and closed my legs as far as possible. I tried to stretch the cloth of the nighty a bit lower, but my plump ass was not allowing that. I looked down at Nirmal and his eyes were on my legs, but there was a dissatisfied facial expression also as I had closed my legs and believe me, it again made me smile. It was so funny looking.
I finished my dinner as quickly as possible and went to the toilet to wash hands. Since Nirmal was seated still, he enjoyed a very appealing rear view of my swaying buttocks in that short nighty from a low angle, which was accented when I had to bend to pick up the towel from the floor, which was kept for drying purpose, but dropped somehow from the wall hook. Believe me, it was not a deliberate effort from my end at all, but that dwarf was lucky enough to get an unrestricted view of my prominent inviting ass cheeks as the material of the nighty stretched as I had to bend down.
Nirmal left within some moments after that with the tray and bid me good night. But his eyes said as if he was rewinding my bending down posture in his mind. I was feeling very uncomfortable as a woman. When he left, I went to bed, but was restless. I was constantly thinking did I cross the limit in front of Nirmal, what did he saw actually, was I looking too indecent in that bent position? Ultimately I got out of bed and went to the toilet straight and reproduced the scene before the mirror, as the toilet-mirror was almost life size, as I told before.
I bent down to touch the wet floor of the toilet and looked through my legs at the mirror behind. Oh my god! I am looking so very tempting in that pose with my full round buttocks on display with my nighty rising up as well exposing my fair legs adequately. Any male would love to see a matured woman in that compromising pose. I was shocked to see a slight hint of my long ass crack also through the nighty! It was natural though as I was not wearing a panty. I was feeling so ashamed, so guilty, and cursed myself. After some moments I went to bed somewhat dejected with me and with the mantra to be more careful on the future days in the ashram. I muttered Jai Linga Maharaj for my actual goal, of conceiving a child, several times before going to sleep.
Madam, Madam!
I woke up hearing that voice. It took a bit of time to regroup myself from sleep, pulled down the nighty, which had pushed up exposing my fair and firm thighs and got out of bed. It was a female voice! I was really surprised by that as I did not see a woman there at least yesterday, nor did I notice that on the first day when I came to the ashram with my mother-in-law. I opened the door and there stood a middle-aged plump woman with a smiling face.
Madam, my name is Meenakshi. I am Guru-ji's disciple. I did not meet you yesterday as I was out of station for some days and had reached this morning only.
I looked at her now attentively. Meenakshi was elder than me in age, probably 35, somewhat dark in complexion with an oval face with very prominent womanly assets. She was wearing the ashram dress code. I asked her to come inside.
Me: Oh! A bit of relief seeing a woman here.
Meenakshi: Madam, there is no difference in male and female here. Guru-ji treats every disciple equally. So you don't worry at all. Jai Linga Maharaj.
I also chanted the ashram theme mantra and asked her to wait, as I wanted to go to the toilet first. When I came back to the room, I found Meenakshi had already cleaned and prepared my bed and was cleaning the room with a broom.
Meenakshi: Madam, please get ready quickly as we need to be in front of Guru-ji at 06:30 am. Here are your sterilized undergarments. Sanjeev handed over to me as they are dry now.
Me: Thanks a lot. You know yesterday the whole evening I was braless in front of these males. Think of my condition. And to make things worse, I really had a torrid time with this blouse yesterday.
Saying that I pointed the blouse to her. She smiled.
Meenakshi: Yes, Nirmal told me its cups are smaller for your breast size.
I was bewildered time and again seeing the porousness of each event in the ashram! Everyone knows everything here regarding me! Did Nirmal also tell everyone what grand view he got of my ass as I bent in front of him? I was perplexed.
Meenakshi: But no problem Madam, take Guru-ji's permission and I will do the needful.
Me: For a change of blouse size, do I really need to bother Guru-ji?
Meenakshi: Yes Madam, as per ashram rule we need to inform any change to Guru-ji, even if it is related to our clothing.
I showed her how awkward my position was as I was unable to button the two upper hooks of my blouse.
Meenakshi: Madam, you look very appealing with the buttons open. Your ones are standing erect even without the bra!
I blushed, but felt proud. I have got this compliment before also.
I turned from her now and wore my bra. It seemed I was wearing it after an era, though it was only few hours on last evening. I felt so secured wearing that and hastily wriggled up my panty with both hands to my waist and completed wearing my sari in another couple of minutes.
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