London, 1986, just after eleven in the evening. A young man detaches himself from the crowd leaving a student bar and walks, alone, towards the nearby Tube station. His hands are shoved deep into his pockets and he tucks his head down as if against a cold wind, although it is early summer and the air is still and warm. He strides with aggressive purpose to the Tube, stops for a moment, then carries on walking. He is not yet ready for the underground journey. He is angry with himself for going to the bar that night. Because he knew that Debbie would be there - it is, after all, where they first met eight months ago. But tonight is the first time he has seen her since that dreadful phone call in which she told him, with great tenderness and tact, and many tears, that she was not ready for the kind of commitment he wanted from her, and that they should go their separate ways. "I'm so, so sorry, Rob ... You're such a sweet guy, really you are ... I'll always care about you ... I hope we can still be friends somehow."
And she was there tonight, of course. Looking beautiful and happy. Laughing and joking with a group of friends including this one guy who was sitting close to her and whose jokes seemed to make her laugh just like Rob's used to. And then she saw Rob come in and her face ... that expression ... dismay and pity and sadness. A drink was bought. Awkward pleasantries were exchanged. Rob, this is Tom, from the drama group. Pleased to meet you, Tom. Really I am. Seems like a nice guy, Rob said to Debbie when he got the chance, and realised as soon as he said it that what he thought of Tom simply did not matter.
Now Rob is walking to the next Tube station, burning off the anger. The walk takes him along a typical outer-inner-London street. Closed shop fronts, pubs, a cheap Indian restaurant, late night convenience stores. And, at the end of the street near the traffic lights, a small neon sign. It reads: SAUNA MASSAGE.
Rob realises where he is. Before he came to University - before he finally lost his virginity, before he met Debbie - he was an enthusiastic user of soft porn magazines. The newsagent's top shelf. And once he was done with the pictures and the fake readers' letters, he always found himself fascinated by the small ads in the back pages. Ads for "saunas" in London with names like "Nadine's" and "Exclusive". Once or twice back then he summoned vast reserves of courage and actually called a couple of the numbers, just to find out. It was always a woman who answered, told him what the price was for a sauna and massage, and said she couldn't say any more over the phone but that if he'd like to drop by he wouldn't be disappointed. He made a mental note of a couple of the addresses. Or rather, they just stuck in his mind somehow. And who would have thought it - his angry, tearful walk past his normal station has taken him right along one of those streets whose names he has stored in his memory this past year or two.
He approaches the shop with the neon sign. Thick red curtains are drawn across inside the front window. Another bit of neon proclaims the premises to be EXCLUSIVE. A name from the porn mag small ads. The outer door is open, but only to reveal a closed inner door with a spyhole at eye level.
Rob is a good boy. A good student. A reliable friend. A devoted boyfriend, given the chance. A well behaved son, apart from the adolescent porn habit which he thinks his parents never discovered anyway. Always striving to do the right thing. And, he thinks to himself bitterly, where has that got him? The image of Tom and Debbie laughing together, looking into each other's eyes, clouds his inner vision; his stomach churns.
He is still in front of the shop. He is a good boy. He is a good boy standing late at night in front of a neon-lit sauna-massage joint in London. He is single, no ties. His heart races. The excitement, apprehension and guilt he he used to feel when he bought porn from the newsagent are magnified a million times. He rings the doorbell of the sauna.
The delay is just long enough to make him think there's nobody there. Then, as he is about to walk on, the door opens a crack. A woman speaks, in a pleasant, London-tinged voice. "You looking for a massage, darling?"
Dry-mouthed, Rob stammers "Ye ... yes ... please."
"OK, just a sec."
The door closes; he hears a chain being taken off it, then it opens again, wide this time. "Come in, sweetheart." The speaker is concealed behind the door as she opens it, slightly disorientating Rob as he steps inside. He hears her close the door behind him as he takes in his surroundings. A clean but spartan reception area: there's a desk with a phone and a clipboard on it, a worn-looking sofa, and stairs going down into a basement. The owner of the voice steps round Rob and stands behind the desk.
She is probably about thirty, black, and beautiful. She is wearing some kind of masseuse's white coat or tunic, short sleeved, fastened with poppers down the front. It hugs her curvy, firm-looking figure very tightly, and the top couple of poppers are undone to reveal a sumptuous cleavage and a glimpse of a black lace bra. Her hair is styled into a bob. She has strong, sensual features and gorgeous eyes. "You been here before, darling?"
"Er ... no ... no I haven't."
"OK, well, it's fifteen pounds for half an hour massage plus sauna and shower." She looks at him more closely. "You ever had a massage in London before?"
Rob can barely speak. "No."
"RIght, well, the fifteen is for the sauna, shower and massage but we have a tipping system for extras, yeah?"
He looks blank. He knows he only has seventeen pounds on him. She spots his hesitation, smiles ever so slightly. "There's a cash machine just past the traffic lights, love. It's up to you what you spend. Most people find another thirty is enough. Up to you. I'm free at the moment so if you want to get some more cash and come straight back, that's fine. Up to you, yeah?"
It's up to him. And at this point he could walk away. He's already done the most transgressive thing of his whole life just by ringing the doorbell of the sauna. That could be enough. Enough to prove that he's not just a good boy and a sweet guy who gets dumped because he hasn't got what it takes to sustain a beautiful girl's affections; that there is more to him than that; that he has a dark, dangerous side. But he only walks as far as the cashpoint. Thirty pounds is nearly a week's rent. He is a student, and his parents do their best to help out but they are not wealthy. He cannot afford this, and he knows it. But he is drunk, and angry, and the woman in the sauna is very beautiful. Up to him. His hands are shaking as he withdraws thirty pounds from the machine and stuffs the banknotes into his wallet. He walks back to the sauna and rings the bell.
This time the woman opens the door straight away. "I thought I might see you again!" she says, jovially. "Right, darling, that'll be fifteen pounds, please. And I need you to sign in here."
Bizarre. On the clipboard there is some kind of attendance sheet, showing times in and out for customers. The names and signatures are all illegible. Rob supposes this must be part of the pretence that this place is a legitimate massage facility. Maybe it is, after all? But, then again, they have a tipping system for extras ... he scribbles something on the sheet and hands over twenty pounds and gets a five pound note back. The woman locks the money in the desk drawer, grabs a towel from somewhere and says "Come with me, darling." And she heads down the stairs.
With the sound of his own heartbeat thumping in his ears, Rob follows her. Facilis descensus averno. As they go down the stairs, the sound of a radio becomes louder. He emerges from the stairwell into some kind of open central space, off which there are three or four rooms with numbers on their doors. At one end there are open shower cubicles ("Showers are over there, sweetheart.") and next to them a heavy-looking wooden door with a small glass pane let into it ("And sauna's there, if you'd like to pop in."). She opens the door of room four. It is small and cramped. Along one side is a massage couch with a long, wide strip of tissue paper laid along its length. The wall above the couch is covered by mirror tiles. On the opposite wall is a framed print: an airbrushed, softcore image of a nude woman seen from behind. There is a plastic chair, and a small cabinet on which is a bottle of baby oil, a tin of talc, and a box of Kleenex. The woman hands Rob a plastic wash bag which must have been hanging on the back of the door.
"Right, darling, you can put your valuables in the bag and keep it with you. You get undressed, go in the sauna if you like, grab a shower, and when you're ready for your massage just buzz me on this here, all right?" She points to an intercom device on the wall. "Would you like a glass of water, or some juice maybe?"
"Ah ... juice ... juice would be great, thanks."
"OK sweetheart, I'll bring some down. See you in a bit, yeah?" She flashes a dazzling smile and goes back upstairs, closing the room door behind her.
To Rob's surprise, he feels absolutely calm now. And safe. Above all, safe: safe in this small basement room where nobody except the beautiful masseuse can find him. He hears a Tube train rumble close by. He places his watch, wallet and glasses in the bag, takes his clothes off, folds them neatly onto the chair and heads for the sauna, towel wrapped around his waist. He has never been in a sauna before. But then again, that's not the only thing he's trying for the first time tonight.
Inside the sauna cabin, the dry heat takes his breath away for a moment. He feels the sweat begin to flow down his back, closes his eyes, relishes the aroma of the warm wood. He lets his mind's eye linger on the image of the big-breasted masseuse in her tight tunic, and his cock begins to swell under the towel. Suddenly the sauna door opens. Rob looks up to see another man - middle-aged, paunchy. For a second Rob panics before rationalising that he can't be the only customer in this place. "All right?" says the man, not looking at Rob. "All right," replies Rob. As if the two had sat opposite each other on a train. Rob waits for what he thinks might be a decent interval before leaving the sauna, with a final nod of acknowledgement to its other occupant, and going to the shower. There, he washes off the sweat and lets his incipient erection die down. He is not quite sure what the etiquette will be come massage time. Back in room four, he dries himself off before pressing the intercom button. His voice trembles. "Er ... hi ... er ... room four ... I'm ready for my massage." He drinks from the glass of orange juice that he finds on the small cabinet. Then, naked, he leans against the couch and waits.
Somebody turns up the radio volume. U2, "Pride in the Name of Love." One of his and Debbie's songs. There is a soft knock on the room door. "Come in," he says.
As the masseuse enters the room Rob immediately notices that she has undone at least one more of the poppers on the front of her tunic; it is very obvious indeed that she is no longer wearing a bra. Rob's transfixed stare at her chest is all too blatant, and she gives a little giggle. Then she starts to speak so that Rob is compelled to look her in the eye.
"Right, darling, did you have a nice sauna and shower?"
"Y ... yes ... thanks."
"Good. My name's Shelley, by the way." She holds out a hand in greeting; Rob shakes it. "What's yours?"
"Er ... Tom."
"Tom. Pleased to meet you, Tom. Right. Now. You want to lie down on your front, darling?"
Rob climbs on the couch and lies prone, tucking his cock and balls down so they are exposed between his slightly parted legs. There is no hole in the couch for his face so he turns his head on one side, looking towards Shelley.
"So, Tom, would you like me to use oil or talc for your massage?"
"Er ... ah ... oil would be nice, thank you."
He sees her pick up the bottle from the cabinet. She goes out of view and he feels a cool dribble of oil onto his back. It feels good. He turns his head so he can see her in the mirror. With slow, firm strokes she begins to massage his back and shoulder blades, talking as she does so. It feels good.
"Mmm, you're lovely and slim, aren't you?" Rob is indeed slight of build. "How old are you, darling?"
"Twenty-one." It's true, as of two weeks ago.
"Twenty-one, eh? Aw, just a baby, really. You a student?"
"Yes."
"You not from London, then?"
"No." He names the small provincial town where he grew up.
"I bet they don't have saunas like this there, do they?"
"No. No they don't"
"You not got a girlfriend then, Tom? Nice fit young guy like you?"
"Not ... not at the moment, no."
She starts to massage his buttocks and thighs.
"Mm, nice bum you've got ... So you thought you'd treat yourself to a nice massage, yeah?"
"Ye- " he catches his breath as, out of nowhere, she makes a very light, feathery stroke up the inside of one thigh. Her voice softens as she says "Let's see what we can do here, shall we?"
He has never felt arousal quite like it. Her lightly oiled fingertips play around his inner thighs and the cleft of his bottom with the most delicate, butterfly touches. His cock starts to stiffen, and he shifts on the couch to give it room. He can barely breathe. Shelley's fingers continue their gentle exploration. They brush against the back of his scrotum, sending a tingle all over his skin. Almost imperceptibly, a fingertip skims the underside of his swelling glans. He lets out a tiny moan. He raises his hips so as to allow his cock to straighten under his belly. Shelley's movements become more decisive as she softly massages his balls from behind. Time seems to be suspended. For a minute or so, not a word is said.
Then: "You ready to turn over, darling? Yeah? Just a sec and I'll put the couch up for you." As he props himself up to turn onto his back - noticing as he does so the small pre-cum stain on the tissue where his cock had been - she lifts the upper third of the couch and locks it into place so that as he lies back, his head is slightly raised. It means he can look at her as she pours oil onto his chest and belly and massages them. One arm occasionally brushes against his erect prick. She works down towards his pubes, massages his groin either side of his balls, and smiles at him.
"You know what, baby, you've got amazing eyes. Really, now your glasses are off I can see they're gorgeous. Wow."
"Thank you." It's what Debbie used to tell him.
Shelley massages the insides of his thighs for a while. As she bends over him, her big breasts hang heavily in her tunic. She sees him gazing at then and smiles broadly. "Right, my love," she says softly, "would you like any extras?"
It is as if his whole life has led to this moment.
"Wh ... what do you ... er ..."
"What do I do? OK, well, some of the girls here do sex or French, but I don't do that. I'll do you topless hand relief for twenty pounds, or full strip with hand relief for twenty-five. Full strip breast relief is thirty. Up to you, darling."
She says it so matter-of-factly. Rob has to temper his delerium of arousal with some mental arithmetic. Can he really afford to spend the whole thirty pounds he took out, or should he keep five back? Good, sensible boy that he is, he opts for a little caution. "Twenty-five would be fine, please, thank you, if that's OK".
"'Course it's OK, darling. Could we sort that out now, sweetheart?" She takes from the hook on the back of the door Rob's valuables bag and hands it to him. He fumbles in the bag for the wallet and in the wallet for twenty-five pounds. He hands her the notes and she folds them into a pocket of her tunic.
"Right, darling, you lie down again while I take off the only item of clothing I'm wearing." Rob climbs onto the couch again. His erection has subsided only slightly during the business part of the transaction. He watches as Shelley takes off her tunic. Under it, she is completely naked. She is magnificent. Her dark brown skin is flawless. She is fit and toned. She has a majestic, womanly figure with broad shoulders and hips, a narrow waist, prominent round buttocks and large, full breasts. All the features that Rob so loved in Debbie, Shelley seems to have in glorified form. Debbie is a generous C cup; Shelley must be at least a DD. Debbie has a luscious round arse; Shelley's is just that bit higher and firmer. Shelley's bigger hips and bust mean that her waist appears narrower than Debbie's and she is more of a perfect hourglass. Both women have a neat triangle of black pubic hair, although Shelley's is more tightly curled. Only in the nipples there is no resemblance: Debbie's are small and delicate pink; Shelley's are prominent, thick and black. Rob is in awe. He cannot take his eyes off her as he lies back on the couch. She rubs oil into her hands and stands close to the couch; she takes Rob's right hand, places it on her buttock, and begins to massage his balls and the base of his cock very very gently indeed.
"Mmm, you've got a nice one, haven't you, baby? Nice big young spunky cock, all nice and hard." Rob almost faints with desire. He finds dirty talk very arousing, and was always sorry that Debbie didn't take to it, at least not without having had a lot to drink. He is caressing Shelley's wonderful firm buttocks, running his fingertips gently up and down the cleft between them. He is very very hard now, and his prick feels huge as she holds it. Only two other women have ever touched it: Debbie, and, before her, Louise, in a one-week mutual virginity surrender exercise. Both told him it was big, which made him feel wonderful, and while he is sure that Shelley compliments every customer in the same way, to be told he has a nice big cock by a woman who has seen hundreds of them can't help but boost his damaged self-esteem. And he's young and randy, and his erections are emphatic and long-lasting.
Shelley places Rob's other hand on her breast, and smiles at him. Her big tit is heavy in his hand, yet firm. He squeezes it gently and strokes the thick nipple with his thumb. "You like big boobs, darling?" she says, smiling even more.
"Yes." What else can he say?
Suddenly she bends down and squashes her breasts against his belly. Keeping the pressure on, she drags them up and down his torso. Rob gasps and whimpers involuntarily. Three or four strokes of her chest on his body, working further up each time, and finally shoving her right breast into his face. Hungrily, he finds the big nipple and starts to suck. Her tit is oily from where she rubbed it on his body. Shelley is still stroking his cock gently. She lets him suck long and deep, as he makes little whimpering sounds. Then shifts so as to present the other breast - "This one's feeling left out, darling." She pushes right down so her boob is squeezed onto his face. Again he suckles and whimpers, with some genuine difficulty breathing. He is just starting to struggle when she pulls away gently, with another soft giggle: "Oops, don't want to suffocate you, babe, do we?"
She stands up straight again and gently takes Rob's right hand off her bum. "If you're very gentle, sweetheart, you can touch my pussy. You like that?" He nods dumbly. She shifts her stance slightly so her hips are at forty-five degrees to the edge of the couch as she faces Rob, and her legs are slightly more than hip width apart. She places Rob's hand so that his fingers rest on her slit. "Be gentle, baby, I'm quite sensitive there. Mm, I bet you like putting your hand up ladies' skirts and seeing what you find, don't you?"
Gently, respectfully, Rob caresses Shelley's cunt. He feels the roughness of her pubes, and her soft, thick outer labia. He dares to part them and probe a little deeper, till he feels her juices slick on her flesh. She is still masturbating him, ever so slightly faster now. "Mmm, you naughty boy," she says. "You like the feel of that?"
"Yes." Finally he constructs a sentence, albeit the shortest possible. "You're ... you're wet."
"Well, darling, maybe it's not just you that's feeling horny tonight, eh?"
"Yeah."
"When you came in for a massage, did you know it would turn out like this?"
"Well ... I sort of hoped ..."
She gives a genuine laugh. "You sort of hoped. Heh, I like that. You're sweet. You know, I bet when you were in the sauna you were thinking, 'I wanna bend that black bitch over the couch and fuck her senseless,' weren't you, eh?"
This is strong stuff for the left-leaning feminist Rob, even in his mad arousal, and he's stuck for an answer. Shelley seems to sense his unease and smoothly shifts the focus.
"You know, baby, you're so sweet and horny I'll treat you to a little bit of breast relief, no extra charge, yeah? You ever had that before?"
"No."
Debbie, although she sucked and fucked with great enthusiasm, was oddly squeamish about getting semen on her skin. Which meant that with her beautiful breasts she never administered a tit-fuck. A crying waste, Rob used to think. But Shelley's about to make up for it.
"OK then sweetie, just a sec while I put a bit more oil on my boobly-wooblies." (Boobly-wooblies? Really? It is a measure of Rob's arousal that the silliness of the word does not ruin the moment.) Shelley gently removes Rob's hand from her crotch. She picks up the oil bottle again and pours a generous amount of its content onto her cleavage before rubbing it very thoroughly into her breasts. They take on a glorious sheen like polished antique bronze. It is a heart-stoppingly erotic spectacle in itself. Then she bends low over Rob's prick, with an expression of calm concentration on her face. "Right, darling, let's get your lovely hard cock in between my big oily tits." She is as good as her word. Rob feels the firm yet yielding masses of flesh envelop his rigid shaft until only his reddened glans protrudes, perilously close to Shelley's face. The underside of one breast rests exquisitely on his hairy balls. She squeezes her tits together and slides them up and down his cock, slowly at first, then gradually faster. This is the end game now. Rob feels the first distant tremor of orgasm. Shelley's movements get quicker and more decisive, less subtle now.
"You gonna come for me, baby? Yeah? You got a nice hot load to shoot for Shelley, yeah? You like my big fat tits wrapped round your ... Whoops! Whoa! There we go! Oh yes baby! Wow! Oh darling! Yes! Ooh that is a lot of spunk! Oh you shot that really powerfully too! Nearly went on my face and hair! Oh it's all over my titties look! Oops, there's more! Mmm sweetie you're such a horny boy, aren't you?"
Rob is groaning, gasping and twitching as he empties his balls over Shelley's chest. It is not his first ejaculation of the day - that took place in bed this morning - but he tends to come copiously, and Shelley's expert ministrations have brought forth a particularly voluminous emission. To his eternal gratitude she does not pull away as soon as he comes, but keeps her tits where they are so that he can relish the sensation on his cock as his orgasm gradually dies away. Only once his breathing has calmed does she stand up and reach for the tissues.
"Well darling, I've gotta say, you stay so hard for so long and you come so much, you must be wonderful to fuck."
Rob's bliss is complete. He lies still.
"Let me just wipe some of that off you." Shelley dabs at his cum-spattered belly with the Kleenex. Then she rips a strip from the end of the tissue on the couch and starts to clean her own chest. "Do you want to pop back in the shower, darling?" Rob nods weakly and starts to stand up. Shelley, having got most of the sperm off her, is putting her tunic back on. "Shall I bring you another glass of juice, darling? I'll leave it in here, yeah?" He nods again.
Shelley is dressed now. It's almost over, just time for a couple more of her lewd comments. "Did you enjoy that, babe, yeah? I bet it's not enough for you, though. I bet you're gonna be making yourself come again tonight, yeah?"
"Heh ... yeah ... yeah probably." It's true, of course.
"Yeah, I bet. Horny young guy like you. Sometimes when I do an older guy I think, right, that'll be enough for him for a couple of days. But I can tell you need more than that. Everyone's different, though, I guess. Some guys come already when I'm just doing the bit round the back, can you believe that? But you held back for a long time. Yeah, nice to fuck, I reckon. And those eyes ... mmm. Anyway, babe, you grab a shower and I'll see you upstairs, yeah?" And with that she leaves the room.
In a happy, stunned daze, Rob goes back to the shower and does his best to get the oil out of his pubes. His cock is tender from its exertions, although he really wants to start touching it again. But he needs to get home now, can't miss the last Tube. He dries himself, goes back to room four, drinks the fresh glass of juice that he finds there, and gets dressed. He goes up the stairs, taking a last look at his surroundings. Shelley is behind the desk. There must be a separate shower for the women. She is wearing a bra again.
"All right, sweetie? Was that nice?"
"Yes. Yes it was. Thank you."
"You're very welcome, darling." She comes out from behind the desk and kisses him on the cheek. "Well, Tom my love, it was lovely to meet you. Hope to see you again. I do late shifts like this one Thursdays and Fridays till one in the morning, and I'm here in the day on Tuesdays, before seven. And there's all different girls each day, of course. Here, let me open the door for you." One last kiss on the cheek. "'Night, darling, take care."
Rob steps out of the door into the London night, into a changed world.
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