I still remember performing with Fi, or Fiona as many knew her doing an acrobatic balancing act. This was at the amateur level, before she joined The Academy of Circus Arts to train professionally in Circus. I was forty eight and Fi was twenty four. Exactly half my age. You can still see our by googling, "AA day with Fi"
Sadly after completing her training and then touring with two different circus troupes Fi discovered that she had EDS -- Erlos Danlos Syndrome. This is a disorder of the connective tissue, something wrong with the protein in collagen which leads to hypermobility of the joints. Had Fi been diagnosed when she was younger and not been told whe was a hypochondriac, perhaps she might have been channelled into a different exercise routine which would have prevented some of the damage she did to herself with excessive stretching. However I am not an expert on EDS -- it is a rare enough disorder that most of the experts are those with the disease.
I can not say that I never had sexual thoughts about Fi when we performed, however I was in a relationship then and would never have acted on them. Also Fi was a devout Catholic to the point where around Eastertide she would be part of a group carrying a life sized cross on a procession of many miles. Yet another factor was that Fi was then just a bit too close to the age range of the adolescents I worked with. Doing anything about the thoughts that crossed my mind from time to time would just have felt wrong.
The clock rolled on. I was fiftyfive and Fi thirtyone. I had given up working as a psychiatric nurse and was now working as a massage practitioner and aromatherapist. My contact with Fi since she went professional had all been via facebook. After the death of my wife, I felt a real need to connect with some of the people from my past. The life assurance pay out was enough to let me do this without having to worry too much about money -- as long as I was careful, my pension from early retirement would keep the wolf from the door.
Fiona jumped at the chance of my coming down to visit her. She even suggested that I bring my massage oils. Other people I had done classes or partnered at the circus school had been bodies when I did my massage and aromatherapy training but I had finished the training by the time I started working with Fi so she missed out. Also I think then she may have felt just a tad wary of having a man massage her almost naked body.
I arrived at her door, the satnav/bicycle computer having done it's work well. Locked up the bike and rang the bell. On hearing my voice, Fi pressed a button somewhere and the door clicked and I let myself in.
Despite the pain she was clearly in, Fi stood up from her wheelchair to give me a hug. I could tell at once that she was not wearing a bra. Part of me felt excited about this but another bit of me felt incredibly sad seeing Fi who had had enough talent to be one of the few who made a living out of circus, reduced to needing a wheelchair to move more than a few feet. I also noticed belatedly that she was wearing jogging bottoms and the reason she wasn't wearing a bra was that she was still in her night attire.
This was obviously not a new reaction to Fiona who told me, "Don't you start!" I almost flinced before she carried on, "My carer was sick today and the agency couldn't get anyone else. Would you be able to help me have a bath before you give me a massage?"
The mixture of caring and wanting to see that, still sexy body without clothes didn't leave me with any options and I agreed, wondering how shocked Fiona's mother would be.
We talked of a number of things, as I ran the bath -- circus, the friends we had in common and how Fi managed on a day to day basis. I was impressed by her bravery and wondered how I would cope. The worst I had was an injury that stopped me catching for flying trapeze and I was hoping to get back into that.
I was about to pick Fi up to place her in the bath -- She had a hoist but I knew I was strong enough to do it this way without injuring my back. Fi stopped me, "Take your shirt off -- unless you want it to get wet -- I don't suppose you brought a platic apron with you?"
I laughed, and the sadness I felt about seeing Fiona like this eased and as I picked her up I enjoyed feeling her skin against my own. I gently lowered her into the bath, holding my stomach muscles tight to protect my back. I wasn't in danger but knew that getting into bad habbits with lifting was a quick way to change that. Fi told me where to get the wash cloths bit asked me to do her hair first.
She keeps her hair fairly short so this didn't last long but I made sure to do a thorough job, knowing that most of the girls I had been lucky enough to be intimate with loved having someone else wash their hair.
Having trained in both general and mental health nursing I knew all about washing other people. First you wash down as far as possible, then you wash up as far as possible, last of all you wash possible. I am sure this started off as pampering rather than anything sexual for Fi, whatever messages my brain was sending to my nether regions. Despite this, when I washed her small but firm breasts, I felt the nipples get distinctly harder. I also noticed a part of my own anatomy doing the same.
Next I was paying attention to Fi's legs, covering every part of them with the soapy flannel. Soon I was running a clean flannel over her most intimate parts. I wasn't trying to stop myself feeling the pleasure all of this gave me but our friendship was too important to me to do any more without Fi giving it the ok.
I was really surprised when she said, "Can you touch me there with your fingers?" My first reaction was to reply, "Does the pope shit in the woods?" But, knowing about Fi's Catholic background I was able to change it at the last minute to, "Is the pope Catholic?"
I traced my fingers over the skin around her vagina. Her pubic hair looked untrimmed but the black triangle pointing towards her pink lips did not extend down around her opening. As I felt and saw her respond I moved my tracings closer and closer to her outer labia and when my fingers reached the open goal of her pussy I was rewarded by seeing her lips swell with an increase in blood flow. I started to play with her clitoris with my thumb and took her left nipple in the fingers of my other hand.
My explorations moved deeper into her cave till I was pushing in and out of her well lubricated tightness. Quicker than I would have thought possible, I felt her spasm around my finger. I leaned over to kiss Fi before enquiring if she was ready for the massage.
"You have to dry me first, she smiled and if seeing her naked body had excited me, that smile and it's promise did so even more.
Once I had dried Fiona off and she was lying down on some dry towels on the floor, I started to cover her back with coconut oild with Jasmine and bergamot esential oils and I forget what else added to the blend. I had planned to do a full consultation with Fi to find out what the best combination of oils for her condition would be but had decided to go with my intuition on this occasion and do the consultation on another occasion. Was this decision based on my hoping to put my rock hard penis inside her inviting vagina? Guilty as charged but had Fi not asked me to play with her cunt I would have done it by the book.
Doing the massage, I emphasised to Fi that if anything was uncomfortable she should tell me and that she should keep her status as the expert on her medical condition. Fiona is sassy enough that I didn't think this would be a problem but I thought I should still state it.
Feeling how mobile some of her joints were, I learned far more about her EDS than I ever did through looking at web sites and Fiona's Facebook posts.
I could describe the massage in detail but despite what had gone on earlier it was not about sex but about relieving stress and treating some of the symptoms from Fi's hypermobility syndrome and some of the complications arising from it. By the time I had finished, my boner had gone though I knew it would not take much for it to return.
"Make love to me." I didn't know till she said them, how much I had longed to hear those words. Not, "fuck me." Not a request to put my cock in her cunt but, "Make love to me."
I proceded to kiss Fi all over, starting with her forehead and moving down to her nose. When our lips met Fi was almost aggressive with her tongue forcing it's way into my mouth. My own tongue dueled with hers for many minutes as my hands explored her body in an even more intimate way than they had during the massage. I again felt her nipples become erect and I took this cue to move my kisses further down her body.
I swirled my tongue around a nipple before taking the flat of it across the top. I then sucked and gently held the hard nub with my teeth before returning to a teasing. After about five minutes I changed to the other breast and gave it the same treatment. By this time I was leaking pre-cum and Fiona was moaning her approval of what I was doing.
When my tongue reached Fiona's most private parts she shuddered and I began to tease, making sure that her body was arroused to the best of my ability. When I finally sucked her clit into my mouth she came almost at once, far more vocal than she had been when she came in the bath. I carried on with what I was doing, only stopping when I felt she was very close to cumming again.
I picked Fi up and laid her across her bed which was just the right hight for me to enter her from knealing on the floor. "Be gentle, this is my first time."
I felt tears begin to flow from my eyes. That Fi had chosen me to be the one to share this precious moment. She needen't have worried, my intention had always been to be gentle. I didn't want Fi to dislocate a joint during our love making and be in agony for the rest of the day.
Placing her legs over my shoulders I started to slowly enter her sex. The combination of her own lubrication and my pre-cum helped me to slip in easily despite her tightness. I waited a little while to let her adjust to my girth which I suspect was rather greater than usual due to the level of my excitement. I pulled back a little before pushing again. Soon I was up against her hymen. I hadn't had previous experience with a virgin so was relying on reading, my own sensitivity and Fiona's guidence for making this right for her.
What I had read did not prepare me for this. Instead of breaking when I pushed, her hyment just stretched. I remember Fiona once showing me how she could pull her skin away from her body and it would just stretch. That her hymen should do this as well made perfect medical sense to me but my brain had not made the link. Fiona's maidenhead formed itself around my cock as I pushed deeper and deeper into Fi's vagina. When I was finally fully inside her it felt like I had a condom on that only reached part way up my penis.
Soon Fiona was pushing herself against my gentle thrusts and I could sense that she was close to another climax. I sped up just a fraction, still wanting our love making to be a thing of beauty and not just about getting my rocks off.
Fiona's body and the unique sensation of her hyment closing around me and then letting go as I pulled back however was not going to let me last for too long. When Fiona came again, the grip on my cock was so strong it was almost painful and I came in copious amounts, my cum somehow finding it's way around the tight glove-like fit of Fi's sex around my own.
We kissed and lay together still joined by our sex organs. Eventually I slipped out and said, "That was beautiful." Fiona agreed and she told me how difficult the decision to lose her virginity had been.
"I still believe in God and in Jesus. I just don't think the Catholic Church has got it right in this. I don't think my mum would approve though." Fi laughed and I remembered the story of when Fi had called a family meeting just after her mum, another nurse had returned from a twelve hour shift. Her mum had told me that she thought Fi was going to say she was pregnant. I had wondered if I was thought a likely culprit.
We have made love several times since then and her hymen did eventually break but it didn't cause any pain when it did.
Fi asked me last week, that if the time came when she could not bear the pain she often has any more, would I accompany her to the Dignitas clinic in Switzerland? I said that I would and after I had put the phone down, cried myself to sleep.
Sadly after completing her training and then touring with two different circus troupes Fi discovered that she had EDS -- Erlos Danlos Syndrome. This is a disorder of the connective tissue, something wrong with the protein in collagen which leads to hypermobility of the joints. Had Fi been diagnosed when she was younger and not been told whe was a hypochondriac, perhaps she might have been channelled into a different exercise routine which would have prevented some of the damage she did to herself with excessive stretching. However I am not an expert on EDS -- it is a rare enough disorder that most of the experts are those with the disease.
I can not say that I never had sexual thoughts about Fi when we performed, however I was in a relationship then and would never have acted on them. Also Fi was a devout Catholic to the point where around Eastertide she would be part of a group carrying a life sized cross on a procession of many miles. Yet another factor was that Fi was then just a bit too close to the age range of the adolescents I worked with. Doing anything about the thoughts that crossed my mind from time to time would just have felt wrong.
The clock rolled on. I was fiftyfive and Fi thirtyone. I had given up working as a psychiatric nurse and was now working as a massage practitioner and aromatherapist. My contact with Fi since she went professional had all been via facebook. After the death of my wife, I felt a real need to connect with some of the people from my past. The life assurance pay out was enough to let me do this without having to worry too much about money -- as long as I was careful, my pension from early retirement would keep the wolf from the door.
Fiona jumped at the chance of my coming down to visit her. She even suggested that I bring my massage oils. Other people I had done classes or partnered at the circus school had been bodies when I did my massage and aromatherapy training but I had finished the training by the time I started working with Fi so she missed out. Also I think then she may have felt just a tad wary of having a man massage her almost naked body.
I arrived at her door, the satnav/bicycle computer having done it's work well. Locked up the bike and rang the bell. On hearing my voice, Fi pressed a button somewhere and the door clicked and I let myself in.
Despite the pain she was clearly in, Fi stood up from her wheelchair to give me a hug. I could tell at once that she was not wearing a bra. Part of me felt excited about this but another bit of me felt incredibly sad seeing Fi who had had enough talent to be one of the few who made a living out of circus, reduced to needing a wheelchair to move more than a few feet. I also noticed belatedly that she was wearing jogging bottoms and the reason she wasn't wearing a bra was that she was still in her night attire.
This was obviously not a new reaction to Fiona who told me, "Don't you start!" I almost flinced before she carried on, "My carer was sick today and the agency couldn't get anyone else. Would you be able to help me have a bath before you give me a massage?"
The mixture of caring and wanting to see that, still sexy body without clothes didn't leave me with any options and I agreed, wondering how shocked Fiona's mother would be.
We talked of a number of things, as I ran the bath -- circus, the friends we had in common and how Fi managed on a day to day basis. I was impressed by her bravery and wondered how I would cope. The worst I had was an injury that stopped me catching for flying trapeze and I was hoping to get back into that.
I was about to pick Fi up to place her in the bath -- She had a hoist but I knew I was strong enough to do it this way without injuring my back. Fi stopped me, "Take your shirt off -- unless you want it to get wet -- I don't suppose you brought a platic apron with you?"
I laughed, and the sadness I felt about seeing Fiona like this eased and as I picked her up I enjoyed feeling her skin against my own. I gently lowered her into the bath, holding my stomach muscles tight to protect my back. I wasn't in danger but knew that getting into bad habbits with lifting was a quick way to change that. Fi told me where to get the wash cloths bit asked me to do her hair first.
She keeps her hair fairly short so this didn't last long but I made sure to do a thorough job, knowing that most of the girls I had been lucky enough to be intimate with loved having someone else wash their hair.
Having trained in both general and mental health nursing I knew all about washing other people. First you wash down as far as possible, then you wash up as far as possible, last of all you wash possible. I am sure this started off as pampering rather than anything sexual for Fi, whatever messages my brain was sending to my nether regions. Despite this, when I washed her small but firm breasts, I felt the nipples get distinctly harder. I also noticed a part of my own anatomy doing the same.
Next I was paying attention to Fi's legs, covering every part of them with the soapy flannel. Soon I was running a clean flannel over her most intimate parts. I wasn't trying to stop myself feeling the pleasure all of this gave me but our friendship was too important to me to do any more without Fi giving it the ok.
I was really surprised when she said, "Can you touch me there with your fingers?" My first reaction was to reply, "Does the pope shit in the woods?" But, knowing about Fi's Catholic background I was able to change it at the last minute to, "Is the pope Catholic?"
I traced my fingers over the skin around her vagina. Her pubic hair looked untrimmed but the black triangle pointing towards her pink lips did not extend down around her opening. As I felt and saw her respond I moved my tracings closer and closer to her outer labia and when my fingers reached the open goal of her pussy I was rewarded by seeing her lips swell with an increase in blood flow. I started to play with her clitoris with my thumb and took her left nipple in the fingers of my other hand.
My explorations moved deeper into her cave till I was pushing in and out of her well lubricated tightness. Quicker than I would have thought possible, I felt her spasm around my finger. I leaned over to kiss Fi before enquiring if she was ready for the massage.
"You have to dry me first, she smiled and if seeing her naked body had excited me, that smile and it's promise did so even more.
Once I had dried Fiona off and she was lying down on some dry towels on the floor, I started to cover her back with coconut oild with Jasmine and bergamot esential oils and I forget what else added to the blend. I had planned to do a full consultation with Fi to find out what the best combination of oils for her condition would be but had decided to go with my intuition on this occasion and do the consultation on another occasion. Was this decision based on my hoping to put my rock hard penis inside her inviting vagina? Guilty as charged but had Fi not asked me to play with her cunt I would have done it by the book.
Doing the massage, I emphasised to Fi that if anything was uncomfortable she should tell me and that she should keep her status as the expert on her medical condition. Fiona is sassy enough that I didn't think this would be a problem but I thought I should still state it.
Feeling how mobile some of her joints were, I learned far more about her EDS than I ever did through looking at web sites and Fiona's Facebook posts.
I could describe the massage in detail but despite what had gone on earlier it was not about sex but about relieving stress and treating some of the symptoms from Fi's hypermobility syndrome and some of the complications arising from it. By the time I had finished, my boner had gone though I knew it would not take much for it to return.
"Make love to me." I didn't know till she said them, how much I had longed to hear those words. Not, "fuck me." Not a request to put my cock in her cunt but, "Make love to me."
I proceded to kiss Fi all over, starting with her forehead and moving down to her nose. When our lips met Fi was almost aggressive with her tongue forcing it's way into my mouth. My own tongue dueled with hers for many minutes as my hands explored her body in an even more intimate way than they had during the massage. I again felt her nipples become erect and I took this cue to move my kisses further down her body.
I swirled my tongue around a nipple before taking the flat of it across the top. I then sucked and gently held the hard nub with my teeth before returning to a teasing. After about five minutes I changed to the other breast and gave it the same treatment. By this time I was leaking pre-cum and Fiona was moaning her approval of what I was doing.
When my tongue reached Fiona's most private parts she shuddered and I began to tease, making sure that her body was arroused to the best of my ability. When I finally sucked her clit into my mouth she came almost at once, far more vocal than she had been when she came in the bath. I carried on with what I was doing, only stopping when I felt she was very close to cumming again.
I picked Fi up and laid her across her bed which was just the right hight for me to enter her from knealing on the floor. "Be gentle, this is my first time."
I felt tears begin to flow from my eyes. That Fi had chosen me to be the one to share this precious moment. She needen't have worried, my intention had always been to be gentle. I didn't want Fi to dislocate a joint during our love making and be in agony for the rest of the day.
Placing her legs over my shoulders I started to slowly enter her sex. The combination of her own lubrication and my pre-cum helped me to slip in easily despite her tightness. I waited a little while to let her adjust to my girth which I suspect was rather greater than usual due to the level of my excitement. I pulled back a little before pushing again. Soon I was up against her hymen. I hadn't had previous experience with a virgin so was relying on reading, my own sensitivity and Fiona's guidence for making this right for her.
What I had read did not prepare me for this. Instead of breaking when I pushed, her hyment just stretched. I remember Fiona once showing me how she could pull her skin away from her body and it would just stretch. That her hymen should do this as well made perfect medical sense to me but my brain had not made the link. Fiona's maidenhead formed itself around my cock as I pushed deeper and deeper into Fi's vagina. When I was finally fully inside her it felt like I had a condom on that only reached part way up my penis.
Soon Fiona was pushing herself against my gentle thrusts and I could sense that she was close to another climax. I sped up just a fraction, still wanting our love making to be a thing of beauty and not just about getting my rocks off.
Fiona's body and the unique sensation of her hyment closing around me and then letting go as I pulled back however was not going to let me last for too long. When Fiona came again, the grip on my cock was so strong it was almost painful and I came in copious amounts, my cum somehow finding it's way around the tight glove-like fit of Fi's sex around my own.
We kissed and lay together still joined by our sex organs. Eventually I slipped out and said, "That was beautiful." Fiona agreed and she told me how difficult the decision to lose her virginity had been.
"I still believe in God and in Jesus. I just don't think the Catholic Church has got it right in this. I don't think my mum would approve though." Fi laughed and I remembered the story of when Fi had called a family meeting just after her mum, another nurse had returned from a twelve hour shift. Her mum had told me that she thought Fi was going to say she was pregnant. I had wondered if I was thought a likely culprit.
We have made love several times since then and her hymen did eventually break but it didn't cause any pain when it did.
Fi asked me last week, that if the time came when she could not bear the pain she often has any more, would I accompany her to the Dignitas clinic in Switzerland? I said that I would and after I had put the phone down, cried myself to sleep.
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