Female Orgasm – Fact or Fiction?

It’s not hard to get one if you know how. If your mind is ready. If your body is ready. You can have more than one during sexual play and extended orgasm as well. It’s super powerful and your neighbors might be shocked by the racket you make if you have a really good one. Female orgasm is something no women should miss out on. But why do so many think the female orgasm only happens in fiction?

I was talking to a woman friend recently about relationships and she admitted she’d never had an orgasm and didn’t think she would ever. Another woman expressed this same issue about sex. They stated they just didn’t know how or that they didn’t care if they had one or not. I started to wonder if I was the wrong woman to give other women advice on sex or even write a blog on here for a woman’s perspective as I have difficulty NOT getting an orgasm during foreplay and sex. (Note: If you do sincerely have a medical issue that does not allow you to orgasm you should seek attention for that issue from your health practitioner.)

A very good female friend of mine shared with me a little about how she struggled with orgasm at first when having sex. In fact it took a lot of time after the first time of having sex before she was fully able to let go. She needed to release from her mind the stresses of the day before orgasm could even be possible. She said a few distractions during sex could destroy any hope of achieving orgasm. Foreplay was an essential.

Maybe you are like me. You see your man come in the bedroom for bed. It’s been a day or so since your last time having sex due to yours and his busy schedule. When he takes off his shirt, you get all drenched in the panties and can’t wait to wrap your legs around him in whatever position possible. Or maybe that’s not you. Maybe you are like my friend. You normally need to be coaxed and seduced into arousal, you need time to let go of everything before orgasm. Whether you are either type of woman I’d give you the same advice and so would my friend: Never fake female orgasm.

A group of husbands talk about sex, one of the guys boasts and says he can give female orgasm every time. A group of wives talk about sex, the wife of that same guy says she’s hardly ever had an orgasm. She’s faked it because she doesn’t want to look unsexy or she just doesn’t know how she will get off so she pretends so her husband will just “get it over with”. It is found that as many as two thirds of women admit to faking orgasm. If you are a woman who hasn’t had an orgasm but are faking it, I cannot pity you for your spouses lack of sexual ability because chances are your husband has no idea when you fake orgasm that he isn’t pleasing you.

You might be wondering if I have any tips on what you can do about this problem. I certainly do!

There are ways to turn female orgasm from fiction to fact:

Know Your own Body.That’s right, masturbate. Get yourself to orgasm. It’s fun to do in front of your spouse, but if that’s too much pressure for you in the beginning do it while you’re alone relaxing in the tub or on your bed. The clitoris is the best place to start.

Communicate What You Want. You are missing out on how powerful and pleasurable female orgasm is if you choose to not communicate with your spouse. If you are going to communicate do not do it in an accusing way. That will kill the mood and further push you away from female orgasm. Tell your spouse what you like, but be kind. “Ooh, touch me here.” vs “What would make you think I’d like that, idiot?!”

Spice Things Up. Maybe missionary all the time isn’t getting you off right now. Get on top and ride ‘em cowgirl! Or maybe you should invest in a vibrator to set you in the right direction as the act of intercourse doesn’t bring you female orgasm. Have your husband participate as much as possible in foreplay. What do you fantasize about? Don’t be embarrassed about sharing some fantasies. Chances are your spouse has some of those same fantasies! Marriage Heat has plenty of stories that could give you ideas too.

Have Fun. Sex isn’t about proving anything, performing, or passing a test. Your husband won’t say, “I’d give her an 10 except she forgot to bite her lip.” Sex is about having intimate fun with your spouse and pleasuring each other mutually. If something doesn’t work out exactly the way you hoped don’t wallow in feeling bad, just laugh it off and try something else.

In closing I want to encourage all of the women who come to Marriage Heat to not give up on experiencing the gift of female orgasm God created for us. I would recommend anyone who wants more info on connecting sexually in marriage to read Dr. Kevin Leman’s book, Sheet Music. This book on marriage sexuality and orgasm is very informative and from a Christian perspective.