It is amazing the number and variety of friends my stories have generated. In the novel Animal Farm, by George Orwell, he states that all animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others. I feel the same about the friends my stories have given me. While they are all special, one is more special than the others, and I thank her for these last few months and her words of wisdom and humor.
My wife fucked another man... it was the best thing that happened to me.
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I walked out of the courtroom a free man. My attorney was the first, but not the last person, that day to tell me it was "The first day of the rest of my life". I just grimaced and said thank you each time I heard it.
The divorce was amicable enough and exactly what one would expect from our justice system. I got my truck, my clothes, and half of our money. She got everything else including the house. No loss for me because it was her house to begin with. Her maiden name was Gwen Phillips and we were married for 17 months. Thirteen of them were fun. The last four were hell.
Gwen is the daughter of Corey and Phyllis Phillips. Her father was president of one of the banks in town and they seemed to have plenty of money. They lived on Shell Beach Drive. That's the street that runs by the lake. Beautiful houses; some not so beautiful people. I include the Phillips family in the not so beautiful people category.
I met Gwen while we were in High School. I say I met her, but that's not quite true. She bumped into me as she was being chased by her current boyfriend. She came around a corner, hit me and I fell. As I fell, I hit my head on the wall and split it open. My head. Not the wall. The only thing I heard from her boyfriend was "God, what a clumsy motherfucker" as they ran down the hall.
A trip to the hospital and nine stitches later, I had a big fucking headache.
I had quite a social life in high school, but I never quite made it to the "stratosphere" where the likes of Gwen Phillips and her boyfriends hung out. I say boyfriends, because Gwen was reported to go through them rather quickly. In her circle of friends, a weekend date was likely dinner and dancing at the country club. Mine, on the other hand was more like a crawfish boil in someone's backyard or at a camp on a bayou. My parents belonged to the same country club Gwen and her parents did, but I'd be willing to bet that I didn't go there more than half a dozen times in my youth, and then only to put on a suit and have dinner with my parents.
My father owned an automobile dealership, so I usually drove a pretty nice truck. I rarely drove cars, preferring the pick-ups. As a matter of fact. Most of my male friends did the same. The student parking lot at school was an interesting place. The vast majority of vehicles were pick-ups. There was also a fair amount of BMW's and Mercedes-Benz's. There was also one lone Lamborghini.
I enjoyed my high school days, but I looked forward to putting them behind me. It was the same with college. I enjoyed my four years there, but was anxious to put them behind me so I could start some serious living.
I was in Army ROTC in college and upon graduation, I went on Active duty as a brand new Second Lieutenant. My first assignment was Fort Knox, KY. After a little over a year there, I was sent to a huge sand trap in the middle east.
I had been "in-country" for about eight months when an IED destroyed my vehicle and injured both my driver and me. I woke up in a military hospital in Germany. It took another eight months to get used to using my new left leg, but get used to it, I did. In fact, I got so proficient with it that is was difficult to tell just by watching me walk, that I had a prosthetic leg. I had and always will have, unless they invent an even better prosthetic, a limited range of motion. But, as I've said, you would be hard pressed to tell that I had a prosthetic leg.
About a month after I was released from the hospital in Germany, the Army retired me.
I found myself back home and living with my parents until I found a small apartment. My mother felt obligated to decorate it for me, so I let her. She spent her money and it turned out looking pretty nice, so had no major complaints and very few minor ones.
I had never thought of selling cars for a living, but when my father suggested it, it seemed like the thing to do. His rationale was that I could either start in the service area repairing cars or in the showroom selling them. I chose selling.
As in everything I did in life, I tried very hard to succeed, and I turned out to be a pretty good salesman and was always at the top of "The Leader Board". The dealership, (my father) had lots of incentives for the salesmen. The most sought after were the cruises. A week long cruise for the most sales in a given period, a four day cruise for the highest gross profit on a car, and on and on.
I was sitting in my cubicle on the showroom floor making phone calls one day when my father stuck his head in. "There's a young lady walking around the showroom." Normally, he would never have to tell me, or any other salesman there was a potential customer because someone would be there lickity-split to see if they could be helped. Generally speaking however, if it was between 7 and 10 in the morning, anyone walking around the showroom was waiting for their car to be serviced. The showroom opened at 10. Also, generally speaking, there was a salesman around "just in case". I was there that morning "just in case", but was making a phone call when my father pointed her out.
I went to her and immediately introduced myself. "Good morning. I'm Jackson Clark. Is there something I could show you?"
"Hi. I'm Gwen Nobles. I'm just waiting for my car to be serviced."
"Great. If you see something you would like to look at while you're waiting, please feel free to ask."
"Thank you Jackson."
I returned to my cubicle and my phone. I was looking out the showroom window trying to spot any prospective buyers when I was interrupted. "Excuse me."
I turned and it was Gwen Nobles. "Yes, ma'am?"
"Could you tell me about that green one?"
"I'm sorry. That one isn't for sale. It belongs to my father. Occasionally he brings one of his cars in, has it tuned and cleaned and puts it on display."
"What is it?"
"It's a 1965 Morgan 4."
"What color is that?"
"British Racing Green."
"Nice color." Then she thanked me and asked for one of my cards.
Two days later, she called me. That's when it started. The phone calls, dinners, dates, everything.
We had been going out for about a month. I learned that she was a loan officer at her father's bank and was recently divorced after a year and a half of marriage. "It wasn't that either of us cheated we just couldn't get along," she said. I found her comment interesting because it was unsolicited.
I had picked her up at her house one evening and we were going to dinner.
"Could we stop by my parents' house? I have to pick something up."
"Sure." She gave me the address. "Shell beach Drive?" I asked.
"Yeah."
It turned out to be the Phillip's house.
"I used to know a girl who lived here." I said as I pulled in the drive.
"You did? I lived here until I got married.
Then it struck me. "You're Gwen Phillips."
"That's right. You said you knew me. I don't remember you."
"Well, it's not that I knew you; it's more like I knew of you. I would see you around school. We did sort of meet once, though."
"We did?"
"Yeah. You and your boyfriend at the time came flying down the hallway and around the corner and knocked me down."
She laughed. "Funny you would remember something like that."
"I remember because it cost me nine stitches and I still have the scar."
She stopped laughing. "God, Jackson. I'm sorry."
"That's okay it's water under the bridge."
The first time she saw my leg she freaked out and we never had sex. In fact, it took three attempts for us to actually have sex; and frankly it wasn't all that good because she had to get drunk to do it. It got better, but honestly, it was never great. It seemed she always held back.
Things got better after a while and it got to a point where neither of us paid any attention to my leg; at least I didn't think so.
We were about three months into our relationship when I moved into her house, and nine months into it when I discovered I was in love with her and asked her to marry me.
The marriage was a huge affair. The reception was, of course, held at the country club. Gwen and I honeymooned in Belize. I was still working for my father and Gwen continued working for her father.
Our marriage was just like any other; mostly fun, with some shaky times thrown in. Never once had she given me reason to believe that she was capable of cheating. I, of course, remembered her carefree days in high school when she went through boyfriends like they were going out of style. I had no idea what her college days were like because we went to different schools.
We were barely 13 months into our marriage and were having dinner at our favorite restaurant. We had finished and were enjoying a cup of coffee afterwards when a man came up to our table.
"Gwen? Gwen Phillips? Is that you?"
She looked up. "Oh my God. Luke? Luke Rogers? How have you been?" She stood and hugged him. They chatted for a few seconds before Gwen spoke again. "Are you here alone?"
"I am."
"Please join us. Luke Rogers, this is Jackson Clark. Jackson, this is an old boyfriend of mine."
I stood, we shook hands, and exchanged pleasantries then we sat down. For the next twenty minutes, I was the odd man out. Not a single word was aimed in my direction. Finally I said. "Gwen, I think it's time we left."
"Why don't you go ahead? Luke can bring me home, can't you Luke?"
"Of course. I'll take care of her for you, Jackson."
Gwen never came home that night. Or the next. Repeated calls to her phone were ignored. There was evidence of her having been home because she changed clothes and left the dirty ones on the bed.
I almost called her parents, but they never liked me, and would have been happy that she was gone; preferably with someone more socially acceptable. I did call some of her friends. One, Joyce Nicks said that Gwen and an old boyfriend of hers had spent one night at her house. "Why are you letting her get away with it, Jackson. She's your wife and she's openly fucking this guy."
"Was his name Luke?"
"That's it Luke Rogers. They dated in college."
Gwen was gone for four days before I saw her again. I was packing my things and loading them in my truck and a small trailer I borrowed from my father.
She was commode-hugging drunk when she staggered into the bedroom. "It looks like you're packing," she slurred.
"Good for you. You got it on the first try."
"Good for me because now I don't have to tell you to."
There was a short silence.
"You could have at least called and told me you were okay."
"I was more than okay. I was fuckin' great."
"I didn't know that. He could have kidnapped and killed you."
"Bullshit. He didn't want to kidnap me. He wanted to fuck me."
"And did he?"
"Oh my God! Did he? You fuckin' a-straight he did. Every way you could imagine and he almost never got soft."
I kept packing. "Why did you come back?"
She laughed. "Because this is my house, and to tell you to do exactly what you are doing. Pack your shit and get out. He's moving in and you're moving out." She said that last very definitively with a big smile and exaggerated movements of her thumb not unlike a baseball umpire would make when calling someone out.
I stopped packing. "Doesn't the fact that you're married mean anything to you?"
She came back with, "Doesn't the fact that you're half a man mean anything to you? You proved you can't fight when you let yourself get blown up and you can't fuck with just one leg. Go on, finish packing and you and your shit get out of here." That was an angry, bitter side of her I had never seen, and never knew existed.
Then she passed out on the bed.
I was gone in fifteen minutes.
I was going to rent another apartment, but my parents had a house they recently bought to redo and flip. It was a really nice house: more than I could afford on my own so I moved in.
It had been almost a week since I moved out of Gwen's house and a day since she had been served with divorce papers.
I always liked to work on Friday evenings and all day Saturday. It seemed that serious buyers were out then. It was Friday night and the dealership was closing. Usually it was the General Manager, or I, who locked up. I had just finished, and was in my car when my phone rang. It was Gwen.
"Yes?"
"Hello, Jackson. I got the paperwork yesterday. I fucked up didn't I?"
"What do you think?"
"I don't remember most of it."
"Do you remember fucking your old boyfriend and disappearing for four days?"
"I remember the fucking part. I don't remember how long we did it."
"Then you came home and told me to pack my shit. You were kicking me out so he could move in."
"Oh, Christ. I remember some of that. I said some pretty horrible things, didn't I?" I didn't respond. "Oh, Jackson. I'm sorry. You know I didn't mean them."
"In vino veritas, Gwen."
"In what?"
"In vino veritas. It means in wine lies the truth. People who are drunk tend to tell the truth. I believe you meant everything you said."
It was quiet for several seconds. Then she spoke. "Is there any chance we can work through this?"
"Absolutely not."
It was quiet again for a few more seconds and I was just about to hang up when I heard. "I am truly sorry, Jackson. Please forgive me." Then she hung up.
Two marriages for Gwen and they each lasted about a year and a half. Pretty bad track record I thought.
I didn't see her for another two months. Her father must have pulled some strings and gotten the divorce on the fast track, but she never even showed up in court.
"Today is the first day of the rest of your life." Fuck everybody who said it to me that day.
It was about a month later and a lady who introduced herself as Jennifer Alexander came into the dealership and wanted to buy a car. It was the first time she had ever bought one on her own because her father had always helped her. He always bought used cars, she said, because with the right used car you always got a better deal than when you bought a new one.
She was very emotional and it would have been so easy to take advantage of her, but I had never knowingly done that to any customer, and I wasn't about to start with her. I ended up putting her in a two year old, very low mileage Camry for the best price I could give. Her trade-in was a wreck, but I gave her top dollar for it even though it was so bad we wouldn't put it on our lot for resale. Once every few weeks, a wholesaler would come by and take all of our junk to some auction or other. He almost didn't take her beat-up old Honda it was so bad.
I noticed she signed the contracts with her left hand and she wasn't wearing a ring.
The next week, I pulled onto dealership property and saw two big TV trucks and an SUV with a national network's logo on them. I parked and walked inside where I was mobbed. Jennifer Alexander, was talking to my father and the General Manager on camera. I ducked out and went to the garage area. Three times the PA System asked me to come to the showroom, but all three times I ignored it.
After about an hour, I watched as the trucks and SUV pulled off the lot. Then I went to my cubicle.
I had only been there a few minutes when my father came out. "Where did you go? That shit was all about you."
"Me? Why?"
"Apparently you sold that lady, Jennifer Alexander, a really good car at a ridiculously low price and then gave her way too much for her piece of shit trade-in."
"I felt sorry for her."
"Well, apparently they were doing an expose on bad business practices especially to vulnerable citizens, but you burst their little bubble by being generous and thoughtful. So you turned their story around. We should get some good sales out of this."
Two days later, Jennifer Alexander drove her Camry onto the lot, parked it, and walked into my cubicle. "You disappeared the other day. I wanted to interview you on TV."
I laughed. "I didn't want to be interviewed; on TV or anywhere else."
She laughed. "I got that impression. How about now. No cameras. Just you and me."
"I cut you a better deal than normal because I believed your story and felt sorry for you. You got a better deal than we usually give, but all of our deals are good. Any time we can make a little money and the buyer can save a little money, we figure the deal was a good one and everyone walks, or drives, away happy. On the other hand, maybe you ran a scam on us."
She looked at me with big eyes. "What do you mean by that?"
I smiled. "When you signed the contracts last week, you didn't have a wedding ring. Now you do. It's an old scam and we're used to people trying lots of things to wrangle a better deal. You were very good... but don't try it again. Now if you'll excuse me." There was a prospective customer walking around the showroom and I wanted to get to him, but Jennifer Alexander stopped me. "Listen. I'm sorry about the ring, but I just wanted to see how badly you would take advantage of someone who may be a bit desperate. This is a good human interest story. You did a good thing and I want to do a follow-up on it. I give you my word I won't use your name or your picture. I just want my audience to know that there are kind, generous business people who care more for their customers than the bottom line."
I laughed again. "That's not exactly true. I don't know any business person who isn't concerned about the bottom line."
"Well, of course, but still... listen Mr. Clark.."
"Jackson. Call me Jackson."
"Okay, Jackson. Listen. I'm sorry about the ring deception, but I had to make myself as desperate as I could..."
I interrupted her by laughing out loud. This was getting funnier and funnier. "Are you saying that single women are desperate?"
"No, no, of course not. It's just that... listen, I'm not married."
"You're not?"
"No."
"Then why wear the rings?"
"It's a long story."
"Okay. Have dinner with me and I'll listen." I had never asked a customer for a date, but she was different on so many levels, and I sensed a vulnerability in her that made me want to protect her. Beside that, she was cute as a button.
"Dinner? With you?"
"You eat, don't you?"
"Yes, but...
"You're single aren't you?"
"Yes, but I can't have dinner with you."
I had been rejected before and I certainly wasn't going to beg, so I decided to cut my losses and let it go. "I understand. It was fun talking to you, but I have customers I have to take care of. Goodbye Miss or Mrs. Alexander. Come back anytime." Miss or Mrs. I wasn't sure which. She said she wasn't married, but that didn't mean she hadn't been. Fuck it. Who cares?
I spent some time in the showroom with the new customer, but I kept my eye on Ms. Alexander, because she seemed like she wanted to leave so would head for the door, but the next time I looked, she was still hanging around my cubicle. It was like she was trying to make up her mind about something. After looking at the cars on the showroom floor, the customer I was talking with wanted to look outside, so outside we went.
We had been outside for a few minutes when I saw Jennifer Alexander leave.
When I got back to my cubicle, there was a phone number written on the back of one of her business cards.
I called her that evening and we talked for a long time. It took three more calls before she agreed to have dinner with me. I kept asking myself why it was taking so long for her to agree to go out. After all, she was the one who left her card with her number on it. I could have gotten her number from her application when she bought the car... assuming it was a valid number, but she left it of her own free will. That indicated that there was at least a small interest in going out with me.
Finally, she agreed to dinner. It was going to be the next Thursday, which was only a couple of days away. The dinner went very well and I enjoyed sitting across the table from her.
At the end of the evening, I got a nice little peck on the cheek and another date. Then another date. And another. And another.
Jennifer only worked at the TV station part time, and she chose the stories she wanted to do. She was the single mother of four-year-old twin girls. Her husband, Terry, had been killed in the same shitty sand trap country where I lost my leg. His life insurance and the investments they made, while not making her wealthy, was enough to keep the mortgage paid and food on the table. Her occasional stints on TV supplemented her other incomes. The beat-up old Honda she traded in was really her car. She was going to trade it when her husband got home, but when he never made it, she held on to it.
After her husband's death, she and the twins isolated themselves and only allowed relatives and close friends near them for a long time. Her family had tried to get her to date again, but she never seemed to be ready. Her going out with me was a first for her and apparently shocked the shit out of her family.
As I've already mentioned, I like to work on Friday and Saturday evenings, but occasionally I would take one of those nights off, and Jennifer and I would go out. Anytime we went out, she had to make provisions for the twins, Dina and Diana. They would either go with one of the two sets of grandparent's or the grandparent's would come to Jennifer's house.
We had been out on a Saturday night, and it was the first time I had gotten beyond a kiss.
We were in her house and sitting on the sofa. We had been kissing and we both started to squirm. As we kissed more and more, our squirming got faster and faster. I reached up with my left hand and put it on her right breast. She froze and I stopped, but my hand was still on her breast. She covered my hand with hers and rubbed it all around her breast and she started to moan. She kissed me hard and passionately. I squeezed her breast and she moaned even louder before taking my hand and putting it in her lap.
"I can't, Jackson. I'm sorry, but I can't," she said tearfully.
I had won a cruise contest at work and I was going to invite her to go with me, but I squashed that idea after that night. Maybe the next one, I thought.
"It's okay. I'm here when you're ready." We calmed down and chatted for another hour but the make-out session was over.
I had made no effort to hide my leg, and as I've said, I walked so well with it, that it was difficult to detect that I had a prosthetic leg. If she noticed it, she never mentioned it and I saw no reason to bring it up.
"The twins are at my parent's house. Would you like to go with me tomorrow to pick them up?" Was the last thing she asked me that night.
I had met the twins, but not Jennifer's parents. That was a huge step. "Of course." I said. We had to use her car because the car seats for the girls were already in place. I was almost as nervous as she was because not only were her parents there, but Terry's parents were as well. When we got there, everybody was lounging around the pool. Jennifer was wearing white shorts and a yellow top. Blondes wearing yellow is a major turn-on for me.
She made the introductions and her father shoved a beer in my hand. Then he indicated where I should sit, and called everybody from around the pool and arranged their seats in a semi-circle around me. Her brother and his wife hung around outside the circle.
My immediate thought was of how heretics must have felt at the inquisition.
I had gotten along really well with the twins the times I had seen them, so after they saw and hugged their mother, they came over to me and said hello. One of them, I knew their names, but had no idea how to tell them apart, stood next to me, propped her elbow on my right knee, crossed her ankles, put her head in her hand and just stood there.
"Oh my God," said the girl's paternal grandmother, "that's exactly the way Terry did it when he was her age." Then she started crying as her husband leaned over to comfort her. The twins both went to Jennifer. I sat there uncomfortably sipping my beer.
We had been there a couple of hours and I felt that I had been found acceptable by the inquisitors, so I began to relax. Jennifer, the twins, and the two grandmothers were sitting with their feet in the swimming pool. Her brother and his wife had left. I caught her father looking at my leg several times. When I cross my legs while sitting, my pant leg drifts up and you can see part of my prosthetic leg. Her father stood from where he was sitting and came over to sit by me. He was joined by Terry's father.
Uh, oh, I thought. Shit is going to get serious now.
"What happened to your leg, son?" her father asked.
I never try to hide it and, as I said, I walk on it so well, it is difficult to tell I have one.
"It was blown off by an IED."
"Does Jennifer know?"
I had never given that any thought. We had walked together, sat next to each other, and sat across from each other, but it had never come up in conversation, so I assumed she had never noticed it. "Not as far as I know," I answered.
Terry's father was surprised when her father brought it up. He had been sitting across from me all afternoon and he hadn't noticed it.
"We want to tell you a few things about Jennifer," he said. "Jennifer and Terry grew up together. Literally next door to one another. We, meaning her mother, Terry's parents, and I knew early on that they would marry. Some things are written in the stars, and their marriage was one of them. They never dated anyone but each other."
Terry's father took over. "Which is why we were so surprised when she told us she was dating you. We don't know how far your relationship has progressed, but if you are lucky enough to have been kissed by her, you are only the second man to have had that pleasure."
Her father jumped back in. "Her psyche is very delicate and we are afraid that she still hasn't come to terms with Terry's passing. We tell you this to warn you of a couple of things. First, be aware that she isn't finished mourning her husband, and second, if you intentionally hurt her or take advantage of her, we will do everything in our power to cause you harm. Do we make ourselves clear?"
"Perfectly." I said with all the sincerity I could muster. I had no reason to doubt what they were saying.
"Good. Now, you best tell her about your leg before your relationship goes any farther. We know she likes you a great deal or you wouldn't be here today, but that leg might be something she can't handle emotionally. Terry died because an IED blew up and killed him and his driver. His legs were blown off. Seeing you like that could kill her. As we've already said, she doesn't seem to be able to come to grips with the fact that he's dead, and some day, when she does, she's going to be in real trouble and she's going to need a lot of help."
"And patience," Terry's father added.
"Thank you, both. I appreciate the advice."
Jennifer, the girls and I left a short time later. When we got to her house, the girls wanted to play outside, so they did.
"Would you like a beer?" Jennifer asked.
"I don't think so."
"How about we sit outside and watch the girls?"
"How about we stay in here and talk?" I asked.
She looked unsure of herself as I took her hand and led her to the sofa and asked her to sit.
"Oh my God. You're breaking up with me."
"No. I'm not breaking up with you, but it might be the other way around in a couple of minutes."
"What are you talking about?" she asked.
"How did Terry die?"
She looked questioningly at me, hesitant to answer, but she did."
"An IED blew his vehicle up and killed him and his driver. Why?"
"What were his injuries?"
"Both of his legs were blown off and he bled to death before the medics could get to him."
I reached down and rolled up my left pant leg. She just stared at it and burst out bawling. Then she jumped up and ran upstairs... to her bedroom I suspected. I had been upstairs when we put the twins to bed, but had never seen her bedroom.
I rolled my pant leg back down. Then I stood and went to the French Doors leading outside. I didn't want to leave them outside with their mother upstairs, so I said. "Girls your mother needs you upstairs." They scrambled upstairs to be with their mother. I quietly left and drove home.
The next day at work, I didn't talk to a single prospective buyer. I sat in my cubicle for a while then went to the service area for a while. My father, who notices everything, called me in his office. "What's going on?"
So I told him. "I'm sorry, son. I wish there was something I could do."
"Yeah, me too." I went back to my cubicle and looked out the window for the rest of the day. The next day I was back in my father's office.
"There's is a Dealer's Conference in Jacksonville this weekend. I want you to go," he said.
"Trying to get rid of me, Dad?"
"As a matter of fact, yes. It looks bad to the customers when our sales staff mopes around here depressed. I was going, but you need the time away from here more than I do."
That Wednesday evening on the local news, I saw Jennifer doing a short spot on home gardens, and what it feels like to grow, and eat, some of your own food. I was, again, taken by her beauty, and the sincerity with which she presented the spot.
Mid-Thursday afternoon found me in Jacksonville. Traveling by air with a prosthetic device is not too bad if you plan ahead, and I generally tried to so airport security wasn't a problem.
I attended meetings for my father and if a question came up that I couldn't answer, I called him. The conference was over at four on Sunday afternoon. It had been almost a week since I had seen Jennifer.
I couldn't get a flight home until the next day so it was mid-afternoon on Monday when I arrived back home. I went straight to the dealership. Joey Blanco, one of our top salesmen, was sitting in my cubicle.
"What's up?" I asked him.
Just then, my Father saw me and asked me to join him in his office. He also asked Mickey, our General Manager to join us. In his office he started. "Jackson, it's time you started to really learn the car business. Mickey here will take you under his wing and teach you everything he knows." I started to protest. "Now don't think this is because your girlfriend dropped you. It's because you've earned it and I'm getting close to retirement and I need someone to take over. Mickey can't because this time next year he will have his own store in Baton Rouge... but nobody knows that yet so don't go blabbing it around."
"But I'll be taking a cut in pay." I protested.
"Jesus Christ, Jackson. I'll make sure you get more than enough to make up for it. Now go home and get some rest. You'll need it."
I smiled and Mickey shook my hand. On my way home, I stopped by the Mall because I needed a new shoe. I knew I couldn't buy just one, so I had to buy a pair. I had made my purchase and was window shopping when I heard a familiar voice. "Hello, stranger."
I turned and saw Gwen. She was pregnant. "Hello. Gwen. Congratulations." I indicated her baby bump.
"Thanks." She said unenthusiastically.
"When did you get married and who's the guy?" I almost said lucky guy, but caught myself in time.
"I'm not married."
"Oh. Sorry. Then who's the father?"
"Luke Rogers. You met him at the restaurant."
"Ah. Yes. Well, tell him I said congratulations."
"I certainly will... if I ever see him again. He took off when we learned I was pregnant."
"Oh." I said for the second or third time. "Well, good luck to you, Gwen."
"Uh, Jackson, do you think that we..."
"Not a snowball's chance in hell." I walked away with my brand new pair of shoes.
That afternoon, I was sitting in my Burmuda shorts and golfing shirt on my rear deck. I had left my leg in my bedroom and used my crutches to get to the refrigerator for a beer, then I went outside and sat in what was left of the early evening sun. I must have dozed off with my beer bottle in my hand. I jerked awake when I felt it being taken. I jerked my head up and looked around. Jennifer was leaning over me with my bottle in her hand.
She stood, walked over and put it on a table. "This won't solve anything."
"What won't?"
"Alcohol. I know. I tried. I tried to stay drunk the first three months after they told me Terry died. Fortunately, my parents were there to help me and take care of the twins."
"But I..."
"It's okay. We'll get you sober then we'll talk."
"But I..."
"Shhh. You need some coffee first. Sit there and I'll get you some.
Okay. She thinks I'm drunk. Do I pretend to be drunk, or not? The answer was not. I kept one thing from her and I lost her. I won't do it again. I stood, took my crutches and walked inside. She was just pouring me a cup of coffee. I surprised her as I stood beside her.
"Be careful. Or you'll fall." She said.
"Jennifer, I'm fine and I'm not drunk. I just dozed off in the sunshine. I will take a cup of coffee though." I continued to the living room and sat in my recliner.
She brought my coffee and set it next to me. I wanted to touch her, but I dared not. She sat on the sofa across from me. On more than one occasion, I caught her looking at my leg. Neither of us said anything. Finally. I spoke. "How did you get in?"
"I looked in the garage window and saw your car so I figured you were home. The front door was locked so I rang the bell. You didn't answer so I went around, through your unlocked gate and there you were." She paused. "I saw you slumped over with the beer bottle in your hand and thought you had passed out."
I sipped my coffee as she talked. When my parents had the house redone, the doorbell somehow got overlooked and I hadn't taken the time to fix it, so when she pushed the button, it didn't ring.
"I came by several times to talk to you, but you were never here and your truck was gone. I didn't want to talk to you over the phone or at the dealership, so I kept waiting until you were here."
"What did you want to talk about?"
"Us."
"I got the distinct impression the last time I saw you that there was no "us"."
"The last time you saw me, there wasn't."
"Then why are you here?"
"I'm afraid and I don't know what to do."
I stood and hobbled over to her. "Let's cut to the chase. I love you enough to let you walk away if my leg causes you pain. So let me make it easy for you. Go. Find a whole man. One who can love you, but more importantly, one you can love as completely and totally as you loved Terry." I hobbled back to get my crutches and I headed for my bedroom down the hall. "The door will lock itself when you leave."
I took a shower, put on a tee shirt and pajama bottoms (with one leg shorter than the other) and went to bed. I cried for myself, for Jennifer, for Terry and for their children before I fell asleep.
My bed is queen-sized and I certainly didn't remember it being so small. I tried to roll over onto my other side but something was in my way. I felt and it certainly felt like a body. Further exploration and I was able to determine that it was, in fact, a body. A female body. I could tell by the soft breasts I felt several times just to make sure. I almost jumped up, but I held my breath and very slowly made my way off the bed. I grabbed my crutches and went down the hall to the guest bathroom. I didn't even pee in my own bathroom for fear that flushing the toilet would awaken whoever it was. I peeked in and saw that she was lying on top of the blanket fully clothed and she had blonde hair. Both the clothing and the hair were familiar.
I made my way to the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee. I was sipping it, and was deep in thought when I sensed her. I looked up and even just having awakened she was beautiful.
"Would you like some coffee?" I asked.
"Yes, please."
I stood, hopped to the machine, put the little pod in, pushed the button and waited. In just a few seconds she had coffee. I put it in front of her.
"Thank you."
I nodded. We sat looking at each other slowly sipping our coffee. "I have to open the dealership this morning so I have to leave soon." She nodded, stood, and looked out the kitchen window at the back yard.
I went to my bedroom and dressed. Dressing for me included putting on my leg. I was finished and was walking to the kitchen when I heard her speaking.
"Are the girls okay?" Pause. "Good. Thank you. I'll pick them up shortly." Pause. "I'm at Jackson's." Pause. "Mom, nothing happened. We talked then he went to bed. I was going to come to your house, but I was exhausted so I fell asleep." Pause. "I don't know, Mom. Good bye, Mom."
I walked in just as she put her phone down. We looked at each other. We had been doing a lot of that and I never tired of it.
"I have to pick up the girls," she said.
"And I have to open the store otherwise employees and service customers will be standing in line waiting for me." I walked to the door, which led to the garage. I turned to look at her for what I thought would be the last time. "I hope whoever he ends up being, deserves you."
Thirty minutes later, I was in my new Assistant General Manager's office. I had fibbed a bit to Jennifer. I didn't have to open the service area: the Service Manager did that long before the showroom had to be open. I just couldn't stand being so close to her and not being able to touch her.
I had to start getting ready for my upcoming cruise so Mickey and I got together and put out a work schedule for the sales staff. Other than me, three salesmen and their wives were going on the cruise. Generally speaking, all of the employees on the same cruise have at least one evening meal and night out together. They were always fun. Usually Mom and Dad went and hosted the dinner, but my mother had told only a few minutes earlier that she was a bit under the weather so they weren't going this time. That was fine for me because that meant I could stay in their cabin, not mine. I say their cabin, but they always had a huge suite that was usually "comped" because they cruised so often and paid for several other cabins each cruise.
We were to fly to Fort Lauderdale, FL, on Thursday morning, board the ship that afternoon, leave Lauderdale and return Sunday morning, fly home and be back at work Monday morning. This was a very short cruise. The sales person who won for the year received a two-week cruise for themselves and their spouse. That's a big deal.
I hadn't heard any more from Jennifer and I really hadn't expected to. In my heart, I missed her, but I also wished her well.
On the other hand, cruises tended to be very fertile grounds for short-term assignations and I was beginning to feel the need.
As before, prior planning made airport security a breeze, and the flight was uneventful. Since I was to be in a suite, there was a separate check-in line... a much shorter one, and I was onboard very soon after arriving at the cruise terminal. Once onboard, I did what I usually did, I signed up for a wine package then went to my cabin... er... suite, in this case, put on shorts and golf shirt then went to sit by the pool with a glass of wine and watch the people go by.
As I've stated before, I never try to hide my leg or make excuses for it. I had been sitting for an hour or so when a man in a motorized wheel chair wheeled up next to me. We introduced ourselves and started chatting. His name was Jack Deimler. He had a tray on his wheelchair which held two bottles of beer. He was drinking from one. We were comparing notes, sort of like, I'll show you my scar if you'll show me yours. He didn't lose his legs because of an IED, his were literally shot off.
We were laughing and having fun when a woman walked up to us, kissed him, picked up one of the beers, sat and joined our conversation. Her name was Linda, and she was his wife. Soon all three of us were laughing.
Normally on a cruise, you are assigned a time and a table for dinner, but my new friends and I decided to just meet at the dining room entrance and take our chances.
Also on cruises, there are mandatory safety drills which are conducted just before the ship leaves port. Each passenger had an assigned location where they have to report. That location is based on the location of their cabin.
Those with handicaps or, as in the case of my new friend, confined to wheel chairs, met separately in a more central spot to make it easier for them. I never considered myself as having a handicap so I went with everybody else.
I went to my assigned spot, checked in, and, as always, it was very crowded and, again, as always, everyone was happy when the drill was over and the ship sailed. I made my way through the crowds to the swimming pool deck and stood at the rail watching as we left port. I stayed there until I figured it was time to dress for dinner so I made my way back to my suite. (I liked saying that. My suite. Sigh.) There was a huge basket on the bed with a very expensive bottle of wine with cheese, crackers, chocolate covered strawberries, and some other candy in it. The attached card read, "Have fun". It was signed Mom and Dad.
The steward had already unpacked my suitcase and stowed it under the bed. I looked in the closet to decide what to wear. Since it was only a short cruise, I didn't bring much so my options were few. But there was a glaring mistake. Hanging alongside my clothes were women's things. I went to the bathroom and it was the same thing. Makeup, hairbrush, a white toothbrush (Mine are always blue), and other evidence of the presence of a woman.
I was on the floor pulling out the suitcases to see if there was the correct cabin number tag on it. I had it almost out when I heard the door open. I turned to look and there she stood.
"Hi." She said. "This is a big ship and I've looked all over for you."
I pushed the suitcase back under the bed and stood looking up at her. "What are you doing here?"
"That's not much of a welcome." She said as she walked toward me.
I couldn't stand it. "I'm warning you." I said. "If you come one step closer, I'm never going to let you go."
She took about five steps because that's how many it took for her to reach my arms.
We kissed. It was a long passionate kiss. When we broke it, I started stammering; "How... why... when?"
She put her finger on my lips and I kissed it. "Shhh," she said. "I love you. All of you. Even the parts that are missing; but I'm afraid. Terry was the love of my life for most of my life and I miss him terribly. But he's gone and I know that and I know that I have to live on for the twins and me, and I don't want to be alone. That's not fair to me and Terry wouldn't want it. I want to be with someone I love and who loves me, so you're going to have to be patient with me, and love me gently and slowly or I'll freak out and panic. Can you do that?"
"I'm going to give it my very best effort," I said. We hugged and kissed for a bit longer. "Now, tell me how you got here."
"I remembered you telling me you were going on this cruise so I called your father and asked him if there was any way I could go along. He called the cruise line and made the arrangements. Then he told me that he and your mother wanted to make it special so she told you she wasn't feeling well and we got their suite. Wasn't that nice?"
"Nice isn't the word for it." I hugged her again and we kissed some more. Then I remembered her admonition about going too fast so I released her.
That first hour getting ready for dinner was an experience. Working around each other and the bathroom and shower trying to protect each other's modesty was both interesting and funny. I didn't know if I should take my pants into the bathroom with me when I took my shower or wear my shorts or wrap a towel around me, or do like I normally do and walk around naked. So I tried to compromise. I wore my shorts and used a towel.
She did likewise. She took her shower, put on her bra and panties, then wrapped a towel around her while she chose her dress. We were trying not to embarrass one another. I started laughing.
"What's so funny?" she asked.
"We are. We're going to be together for three days and since we love each other, I can only assume that at some point there will be a certain amount of intimacy. I further assume that intimacy will involve at least some exposure of our bodies to one another and here we are tip toeing around like kids."
She laughed.
"So here goes." I said and took off my towel and dropped my shorts and I was standing there naked and she could see all of me including my almost two legs.
She looked at me, blushed and dropped her towel. Then she reached behind and unclasped her bra and caught it as it fell. She held it in one hand then tossed it on the bed. Then she hooked her thumbs in her panties and slid them down her legs and kicked them in my direction. I leaned down, picked them up and walked toward her. I tossed them on the bed with her bra.
I personally think that the most attractive women on TV are the girls on The Price Is Right TV Show. Their bodies are absolutely perfect. Jennifer's body was the same. Perfect.
She looked right in my eyes. "This is the first time a man has seen me like this since the day Terry left for overseas and you and he are the only two."
I took her in my arms and held her, praying that I wouldn't get hard when I felt her bare skin on mine. Fortunately, the fates were with me. I held her as she cried. After about a minute, I said. "Come on. We have to get dressed for dinner.
We met my new friends at the dining room entrance. I made introductions all around. Dinner was great. At first, I thought Jennifer might freak out when she saw the legless Jack Deimler, but she held it together. She did loose it a bit later, but quickly regained her composure. Her only comment was. "I don't know if I can do this."
Back in our suite, we both put on pajamas, then opened the wine my parents gave us. We sipped the wine, munched on the strawberries, and generally enjoyed each other's company. When we got in bed, we kissed each other but made no attempt at any other intimacy. I did wake up with my hand on her chest. I thought she was still asleep and tried to pull away from her as gently as I could, but she grabbed my hand. "It's okay." So I stayed for a bit longer. Finally she said. "I have to pee." She got up to go to the bathroom. When she came back, I went in.
We spent the day in Key West with Jack and Linda, and had dinner with them that night.
After dinner, we went dancing and drinking. She was feeling pretty good when we got back to our suite just before midnight. We sat on our balcony and finished the wine we started the night before. It was about 1:30 in the morning when we finished the wine and Jennifer was drunk. She staggered into the bathroom and took care of her needs. Then it was my turn. When I finished and crawled into bed, she moved over as close to me as she could get. I put my arm around her and felt skin. She was naked. She took my hand and put it on her right breast. Then very softly I heard, "Make love to me Jackson."
She rolled over to face me.
"You're drunk. Let's wait until you're sober and see if you still want to."
She was asleep before I finished speaking. She spent the next day sitting by the pool nursing a hangover. I sat next to her holding her hand.
"Did I embarrass myself last night?"
"No, sweetie."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive."
That evening we had dinner with my fellow employees. Jennifer chose to just have a salad. It was our last night at sea. We would dock early the next morning.
We had to have our bags packed and outside our doors by midnight, so they could be taken ashore when we docked. As Jennifer was getting ready for bed, I called my father and had him change her flight so we could fly home together. Ship to Shore calls are expensive.
I had just finished talking to him when Jennifer came out of the bathroom. She was naked. She walked over to me and put her arms around my neck. "I'm not drunk tonight."
That's all it took and I had instant hardon.
I tried to take it slow, but she wouldn't let me. It seems that once she decided she was going to do it... she damn well did it. It had been over two years for her and she was hungry. She wanted it all and she wanted it now, and I tried to accommodate her. I touched, kissed, licked, and sucked every inch of her body that could be touched, kissed, licked, or sucked. More than once during that session, and others that followed, I silently thanked Terry for teaching her what he did. Some of it had to be natural, but some had to have been taught.
The next morning we docked in Fort Lauderdale. By mid-afternoon, we were home. Both of our vehicles were at the airport and she was anxious to get the girls and wanted me to go with her. We dropped my truck off at her house.
When the girls saw their mother, they went bonkers. That cruise was the longest she had ever been away from them. I was pleasantly surprised when they seemed somewhat excited to see me. Of course, the presents we brought them might have had something to do with that.
"Did you have a good time?" Jennifer's mother asked her.
Jennifer blushed bright red instantly, but looked at me, smiled, and answered. "Indeed we did." Both of her parents smiled.
We were walking to the car. I was holding the hand of one of the girls; I still didn't know which one, and Jennifer's father walked with me. "She deserves to be happy, Jackson, and she seems to think you can accomplish that. Her mother and I hope you can as well, and it's not just her; it's the twins. It's important that they have a good father image. I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life, but those little girls are getting used to you and are starting to look up to you."
On the drive to her house, she wanted to know what her father had said.
"If I read between the lines correctly, he will castrate me if I even look like I'm going to hurt you."
She smiled. "That sounds like my Dad."
Over the next four or five months, I spent more and more time with her and the twins. We developed some hard and fast rules regarding our sex and the twins. First and foremost, we never had sex when they were awake, and second, the bedroom door was always locked when we did it.
The twins had gotten to like me and spent almost as much time with me as they did their mother whenever I was there or they were at my house. I even got to where I could tell them apart.
I still had my truck, but I leased a new car from the dealership, and bought two more car seats for the twins and had them installed.
The girls even had fun playing with my prosthetic leg and thought it was fun to make footprints in the sand with it.
There were also some rules for me. I was not allowed to go into or use Terry's closet. I had looked in there one time and all his clothes were still there. His shoes were all neatly shined and lined up as if for inspection. The same with his dresser. The drawers were filled with his neatly folded underwear and socks and sweaters. I was allowed to use his side of the bathroom, but in the cabinet underneath were his razor, toothbrush, tooth paste, shaving crème, and after shave lotion which I wasn't allowed to touch. I figured she would be getting rid of his stuff soon, so I didn't mind... too much. Any clothes of mine I brought over were in her closet and she gave me one drawer of her dresser.
There were still pictures of him throughout the house; which I understood because Jennifer didn't want the girls to forget him and neither did I.
Things were going along well for us, until I made a mistake. It was a Friday night and the twins had spent the night with their paternal grandparents so Jennifer and I could have a date night. We had a very nice dinner and went dancing afterward. The dancing continued when we got to her house and we danced right into her bedroom for a night of lovemaking.
Everything went well all night long. We made love and snuggled until about three the next morning. At six, my telephone alarm went off reminding me that I had to open the dealership. I jumped up, ran for the shower and started to shave but forgot that I had run out of shaving crème and had forgotten to bring more. I reached for Terry's and just as I did, Jennifer came in and saw me.
"Oh, my God!" she grabbed it out of my hand, took a towel and started to wipe it off like I had contaminated it. "You can't use that. I told you you can't use that. Don't ever touch his stuff. It's Terry's stuff. You need to leave. Leave now. Go." I just looked at her "Go! I told you to go!" As she continued to clean the can of shaving crème.
"I'm sorry," I said, "but it's just a can of shaving crème."
"It's Terry's and you can't use it. Go. Leave."
I went to the bedroom and started dressing. She came out of the bathroom and started gathering my clothes from her closet and dresser and piling them on the bed. When she told me to leave, I thought she was talking about leaving the bathroom, but apparently, she had something else entirely in mind. When I saw what she was doing, I rushed to get dressed and headed downstairs for the door. Fuck the clothes. I'd get them when she settled down.
I went through the kitchen, into the garage, and into my car. I hit the garage door opener and backed out and down the driveway.
I had to stop by my house to finish shaving and put on appropriate work clothes, but I still made it on time.
There was not a lot for me to do so I sat in my office for a good part of the day trying to figure out what had happened that morning.
About mid-afternoon, I tried to call her, but my call went straight to voicemail. Business picked up as the day went along and by the time I closed the dealership that night I had almost forgotten what happened that morning. Almost.
The next day was Sunday and I tried to call Jennifer a couple of times in the morning. No success. I decided to go over to her house and talk to her, but that, too, was unsuccessful. I rang the doorbell, but she didn't answer. I knew she was home because I heard the girls telling her to answer the door. They came to the window, knocked on it and waved. I waved back.
I realized I was wasting my time, so I went to my car, retrieved the garage door opener, took out my key to her house, dropped them both in the mail slot in her front door, and went home.
The first week was a very long week and I was reminded of how much I missed Jennifer and the girls every time I looked in my back seat and saw the car seats. On Sunday morning, I uninstalled them and drove to Jennifer's parent's house. Her father came to the door and invited me in.
"No, I shouldn't, but I would like to know how she's doing."
"She's a wreck. Just as she was when she first learned that he was dead. Her mother is with her now; has been all week. We knew something like this was going to happen. We just didn't know when."
"For what it's worth, I didn't mean any harm. All I wanted to do was shave." I said.
"What happened? The only thing we could get out of her was that you were messing with Terry's things."
I told him.
"Oh my God. She needs help. Thanks for telling me. Now it makes more sense. Give her some time, Jackson. She'll be all right."
I ignored his comment, choosing to say, "I have the girl's car seats so I thought I'd drop them off."
"Why don't you hold on to them for a while?"
"I don't think so. Three will always be a crowd and I'll never be able to compete with a dead man."
He walked me to my car and I gave him the car seats. My heart broke as I watched him carry them, one in each hand, into the house.
The next week was even longer. Fortunately business, while normally strong, got even stronger so I had little time to think about Jennifer and the girls.
One day for lunch, my father and I went to a fast food restaurant. We were inside and he was telling me more secrets about the car business when Jennifer and the girls came in. The girls saw me and ran over to say hello. I hugged them both. Jennifer kept her distance and never said anything for a couple of minutes. When she spoke, it was to the girls. "Come on, girls. Leave him alone. Let's go someplace else." At which point they protested that they wanted to stay, but she took them by their hands and almost dragged them out.
I never finished my lunch and came to the conclusion that we were, in fact, not going to get back together. At that point, my life changed again. It was as if a giant load had been lifted off my shoulders.
The next month was a good month. We sold lots of cars and I went on another cruise. Only I went as a manager that time, not a salesman.
On the flight home from Fort Lauderdale, I sat next to a young lady who had watched as I dealt with the security people at the airport. We had been in the air for less than an hour and we were both sipping on our drinks. She introduced herself as Roiya Mason. "If you don't mind my asking, why were the security folks hassling you?"
"Oh, they weren't hassling me." I told her about my leg and what I normally had to do to get through security. She seemed interested so we chatted for the remaining hour or so of the flight. When we landed, I offered to drive her home and she said okay.
The next weekend we had our first date, which ended, like most of my first dates did, with a nice gentle kiss on the cheek. The next Saturday night was another date. Dinner at a nicer restaurant this time. We were almost finished eating when three people walked by our table being escorted by the Maitre d to their table. As they passed, a familiar smell found my nose. I looked up and there she was; Jennifer, with her brother and his wife. They were led to their table and seated. I tried to ignore them and concentrate on what Roiya had to say.
I did look up one time and Jennifer's brother had apparently just recognized me and told Jennifer and her sister. Her sister looked at me and waved. I waved back. Jennifer chose not to look in my direction.
"Friends of yours?" asked Roiya.
I smiled. "I have no idea if we're friends or not."
"One of them waved, so you're friends with at least her." I laughed. "So do I hear the story or not?" she asked.
"Absolutely. Let's finish dinner, then go someplace, have a drink or six, and I'll tell you all about it." We did exactly that.
"Wow. That broad's crazy." Were the first words out of Roiya's mouth when I finished my story. "She needs help."
My life went on. Roiya and I dated for a couple of months, but we never had sex and the relationship never went anywhere.
It was on a Tuesday morning. I didn't have to go to work until three in the afternoon. I was in my house using the vacuum when the doorbell rang. I opened the door to find Jennifer's father. We shook hands and I invited him in. "What's up?" I asked.
"Thought I'd stop by and chat if you have a minute."
I offered him a beer. He took it and we sat. "What's on your mind?"
"Jennifer misses you."
I chuckled. "She has a very funny way of showing it. She's seen me twice and hasn't spoken to me either time."
"She's embarrassed and afraid."
"She shouldn't be. She loved Terry most of her life. She's known me about a year. She warned me that I would have to be patient, and I was, but I can't walk on eggshells all my life knowing that a dead man is looking over my shoulder and controls the life of the woman I love. Life is too short to live like that."
"So you've moved on. Tommy and Wanda said they saw you with a girl. How's that going?'
"It didn't last long."
"May I ask why?"
"One simple reason. She wasn't your daughter."
He smiled. "We almost have her convinced to go to counselling."
"Good. She needs it."
"Would you be willing to help?"
"In what way?"
"We don't know. We're grasping at straws here. Maybe you talking to her will help her decide."
"She won't even talk to me! If she goes, it has to be because she wants to. I'm not going to try to influence her."
"But that's what people do with loved ones. Try to influence them to have better lives."
"That works with people who love each other. Not with people who aren't even speaking to one another."
We chatted for another half hour or so. He finished his beer, we shook hands and he left.
It had now been four months since Jennifer ran me out of her house. I wasn't missing her quite as much, but I found that I missed the girls.
Most businesses in any community are called upon to donate to every charity that comes along or participate in every charity drive. Occasionally, we are even asked to sit on various boards. My father sits on the boards of two banks, and two nationally known charities. I was surprised one day to be asked to sit on the board of one of our two Community Theatres. I had gone to see lots of plays, but never thought I had anything to contribute to the arts. The board thought differently. They thought that not only could I add business acumen, but I could also maybe kick in a few bucks whenever they were needed.
On a whim, I decided to accept their offer and went to my first meeting. I knew two other board members but I basically walked in to a room full of strangers. That wasn't a problem because I deal with strangers every day. Michael and Jody, the two people I knew, met me at the door and led me around the room introducing me to the rest of the members. "Tonight is special because we have a guest," said Jody. "We didn't know it was going to be tonight, but we have someone from one of our local TV stations here to hang around and see what we, as a board, do to keep theatre alive and well in town. Jackson Clark this is Jennifer Alexander."
Neither she nor I reached out our hand for the other to shake. "Mrs. Alexander and I have already met." I said as I made my way to the door telling the last of only about half dozen lies I'd ever intentionally told in my life. "I apologize, but I have an appointment I had forgotten about and have to leave, but I'll be here next month. Just shoot me a text about the date and time. Nice to have met you all and I look forward to working with you."
I was just getting in my car when I heard my name. "Jackson. Jackson." I turned and Jennifer was coming in my direction. "Wait. Please."
I stood with my door open. She came up to me. "Can we talk?"
"About what? About how you kicked me out of your house, and your life, for making a simple mistake? Or maybe we can talk about not talking when we see each other in public. No, Jennifer, you and I have nothing to talk about unless and until there are only two of us. Being three doesn't work in my book."
"Three?"
"Don't fuck with me. Until Terry is a memory and not an entity, you and I have nothing to talk about." She was still standing in the street as I drove off. Half the board was standing at the door of the theatre watching us. I'd have been willing to bet they regretted asking me to be one of them.
The very next day, I received a phone call from a Dr. Storey. She introduced herself as being the counsellor for someone I knew and she was wondering if she could talk to me in person. I asked who she was talking about, but she wouldn't tell me over the phone. I could only assume that Jennifer's family had finally convinced her to get help, so I agreed to meet with her.
I met her three days later in her office.
"Thank you for coming Mr. Clark. Do you have any idea who I'd like to talk with you about?"
"I'm assuming it's Jennifer Alexander."
"You assume correctly. She's been seeing me three times a week for several weeks now. Can you tell me a little about your relationship?"
"Certainly. I loved her and she loves her dead husband. That's it in a nutshell."
"You said you loved her. That's past tense. That implies that you no longer love her. Is that true?"
"Basically, it is."
"Basically?"
"Most of the time we were together we had more fun than the law should allow, but things changed whenever we were in her house. It was like she was afraid she was being watched and had to behave." After I said that, I wondered if maybe it wasn't completely true, because there were times at her house when she really let herself go and what I thought was the real Jennifer showed up and she was wonderful, but those times were rare.
"So you're saying that if the spectre of Terry were completely out of the picture you would love her again?"
"Why does it have to be all or nothing? She loved him for most of her life. I don't expect her to just forget that ever happened. She can't just put aside the feelings she has for him, he is the father of their two daughters. He will always be part of their lives. They should have pictures of him around the house. They should have mementos of their short time with him. Jennifer should be able to keep and enjoy their wedding album and, like the girls, have mementos of their life together. His favorite cup, or chair, or shirt. Those things are perfectly acceptable; but at some point another man's clothes should be hanging in what used to be Terry's closet and another man's underwear should be in what used to be his dresser."
"Are you that man?"
"I used to think so, but I'm not so sure anymore."
"What would it take for you to love her again?"
"I don't know. I don't know if I know who the real Jennifer is. Up until now, she has been one person. I have no idea what she will be like when she's finished with these sessions. I think she and I would have to start all over again.'
"How did you start the first time?"
It took me just a couple of minutes to tell her about the first couple of times we met.
"Did you know that when she left her phone number on her card for you that was the first time in her life she had ever done that?"
"I heard something like that."
"And did you know that when she told her parents and in-laws she had done it, they didn't believe her?"
"I heard that as well."
"She loves you. She just doesn't know how to let go of Terry."
"Aye, there's the rub.
I left Dr. Storey's office and went to work.
Thanksgiving was fast approaching and my parents and I were in my father's office finalizing plans for a buffet for our employees and customers when over the PA system came "Jackson to the showroom, please. Jackson to the showroom."
I excused myself and went to the showroom where I was met by Jennifer's parents. "Hello, Jackson. Long time no see," said her father."
"Yes, it is. You folks looking for a new car?"
"Actually, we are."
"I can either help you or I can get one of our salesmen."
"Someone else will be fine if you're busy, but before you go, we'd like to invite you to Thanksgiving dinner if you don't already have plans."
"Thank you, but I'll be with my parents."
"Bring them along. There'll be plenty of food and we'd love to have them."
"Thank you, but I think it's best if we regret."
"We understand."
"Let me get someone to help you." I looked around and one of our weaker salesmen was standing around. "John. Would you come over here, please?" He came over and I introduced him. "See if you can find a car for these friends of mine. When you do, let me check the numbers."
"Of course, Jackson," he said. "Friends of mine" and "let me check the numbers" were both code for these people get our best deal.
"Oh, by the way," I asked, "how's Jennifer doing?"
"As well as could be expected, we suppose. She's almost finished with counselling."
"Good for her and thank you for stopping by."
They came back the next day to pick up their new car. Our Thanksgiving buffet was out and they, like lots of others, were grazing around the table. I went to them and started chatting. "Mr. Matthews, I have a question for you. The first time I met Jennifer, she was in here to buy a car. She told me that it was her first time to buy one alone, that you always helped her. She also told me that you always bought used cars because you got a better deal. Is that true?"
"Partially," he laughed, "but Terry always helped more than I did. She just told you most of that stuff for the story she was doing. I prefer new cars myself." There he was. Terry again. I excused myself and went to my office.
On the day before Thanksgiving, I was once again called to the showroom. "Jackson to the showroom, please. Jackson to the showroom."
I went and Jennifer was there. I went to her. "Looking for another car?"
"No. I'm looking for another chance."
"You are?"
"Yes." I just stood looking at her. "Can we go somewhere and talk?"
"I can't leave. I'm the only manager here today and we're really busy."
"How about tomorrow? I know it's Thanksgiving and you're with your parents..." I looked at her. "Mom and Dad told me they invited you to come to their house, but you had other plans. Actually, it was my idea to invite you. Anyway, maybe you could stop by my house later in the evening for pumpkin pie and coffee. The girls would love to see you. They talk about you a lot."
"I'd like to see them. What time?"
"Seven?"
"Fine. See you at seven."
I didn't eat much for Thanksgiving dinner. Don't know if it was excitement or nerves; probably a combination of both. It was exactly seven when I rang her bell. I heard the girls run across the floor. Each of them yelling, "I'll get it, I'll get it." They opened the door and both of them launched at me almost knocking me backwards. It was the most enthusiastic welcome I had ever received. I had dropped the bag I was carrying and with both of the girls in my arms, I looked up and saw Jennifer with a huge smile. I carried the girls inside while Jennifer retrieved the bag I had dropped.
I made my way to the sofa and fell backwards on it with the girls still in my arms. We played for quite a long time. Occasionally, I would look up when I sensed Jennifer was looking. "Okay, girls. Settle down and give him a break." They did, but only after token resistance. "Now, what would you like? Pumpkin pie or apple pie? Dina?"
"Pumpkin. With lots of whipped cream."
"Got it. Diana?""
"Apple with ice cream."
"Got it. Jackson?"
"Pumpkin, please."
"Whipped cream?"
"No, thank you."
As soon as she left for the kitchen, the girls started climbing on me again. I truly enjoyed playing with them: until their mother stopped us again.
Jennifer and I ate in silence as we watched the girls and watched each other watching the girls. They kept up a constant chatter as they ate and I sat with a big smile hardly touching my pie.
Finally, it was time for them to get ready for bed. Baths first. Jennifer got them in the tub and came back and plopped down with a big sigh. "Maybe you shouldn't have come until they were already in bed," she said.
"By the way, the bag I brought has their Christmas presents in it in case I don't see them again."
"Thank you. I'll hide them."
We sat for a long time with neither of us knowing where, or how, to start. Finally, she took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Jackson. I over reacted and acted like a spoiled little brat. You didn't deserve my treating you like that."
"It was mostly my fault. I knew the rules and I violated one of them. It is I who should be apologizing."
We sat there apologizing to each other until we heard. "Mom, the water's getting cold."
Jennifer laughed. "That's my cue that they're ready to get out."
"That's okay. I should probably leave anyway." I did. There were no hugs, kisses, or promises to call.
Several days later, my parents and I were having dinner in a restaurant when in walked Jennifer with a man. They sat and ordered drinks never appearing to notice us. I never pointed them out to my parents. We took our time and finished our meal. My father paid the check and gave the parking valet ticket to our waiter. I was helping my mother on with her coat and I looked over to see Jennifer looking at me. I shook my head and escorted my mother outside where the car was waiting. My phone was ringing. I looked, saw it was Jennifer and turned it off. We got in the car and they dropped me at my house.
I went in my house and fixed myself a drink, turned on the TV and sat there staring at the screen. I had been there about an hour and had risen to go get ready for bed. I took the last sip of my drink, took my glass to the kitchen and started for my bedroom when the doorbell rang. I had repaired it. I opened it and Jennifer stood there. "You're an asshole, Jackson," she said quietly, but firmly. "Are you going to be like this for the rest of our lives?"
"I don't deny being an asshole, but what are you talking about?"
"You know what I'm talking about. You saw me with a man and immediately jumped to the conclusion that I was on a date. Did you even bother to answer the phone when I called to explain."
"It certainly looked like a date to me."
"Well, it wasn't." She reached in her pocket and took out a business card and tossed it to me. It landed on the floor. I picked it up. On it was printed Oliver Parke, Producer. Below that was printed Special Projects. "It just so happens that the TV Station, unknown to me, sent some of my video spots to Mr. Parke and he wanted to talk to me about going national with them. Would you like to know what I told him?"
"What?"
"I told him that I was perfectly happy here with my boyfriend and I didn't want to leave."
"Your boyfriend? So you have a boyfriend now?"
She smiled. "God, you're dense! You're my boyfriend."
"Wait just a minute. We haven't spoken two dozen words to each other in months and all of a sudden I'm your boyfriend?"
"That's true, we haven't, but you told Dr. Storey that you loved me. That makes you my boyfriend."
We were still standing in the doorway. My head was spinning in circles. I didn't remember it that way. I thought I told Dr. Storey that I had loved, Jennifer. Loved. As in past tense, as Dr. Storey rightfully pointed out.
"Explain to me how I can be your boyfriend when you don't even act like you like me? Is boyfriend/girlfriend a one way street? I always thought it took two to tango."
She smiled again. "Come with me. Please?" She took my hand and led me to her car. "Get in."
"Where are we going?"
"My house."
"Why?"
"You'll see." She reached over and took my hand. She held it until we got to her house.
We pulled into her driveway and, like before, she led me into the house and up the stairs to her bedroom. She went immediately to Terry's closet and opened the door. "Take a look," she demanded.
I walked over and looked in. There were only a few clothes hanging there and they looked familiar. Then she took me to the bathroom and, again, told me to look. Again, everything looked familiar.
"Those are the things you had here before I went apeshit on you." She came over to me, put her hands on my shoulders and spoke gently and tenderly. "Terry doesn't live here anymore. You do, if you want to." Then she kissed me.
"Where are the girls?" I asked. She stepped back unbuttoned her blouse, took it off, then took off her bra, put her hands on either side of her breasts, and pressed them together. "Here they are." I reached and pinched her nipples. She groaned.
"I wasn't talking about these girls." I said.
"I know, but I just wanted you to know these were here for you in case you want to play with them." She kissed me again. "The other girls are with my parents, so we have the whole night."
And we used the whole night.
My clothes didn't stay in that closet very long because about five months later we decided to buy our own house. Her parents and Terry's parents had lived next door to each other for almost thirty years. My parents didn't live very far from them so we chose a house half way between the six grandparents. We had lived in our new house for another six months when we got married.
Our honeymoon was a two week cruise in the biggest suite available on the largest cruise ship afloat.
I know the exact moment when the twins locked themselves forever in my heart. Jennifer's father had brought the twin's car seats to Jennifer'shouse and we installed them. The twins watched and laughed as we worked. Later that afternoon, Jennifer suggested we go get ice cream. Almost as one the twins said, "let's go in daddy's car."
It was the first day of the rest of my life and things were lookin' good!
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