I don't want you to get the wrong impression. I'm not psychologically damaged in any way. I'm not afraid of open spaces or confined spaces. I'm quite gregarious although I wouldn't say I'm always the life and soul of any party. I like going out. I like staying in. So what suddenly came over me might seem entirely out of character. Also I don't want you to get the idea that there was any violence or nastiness involved. It's difficult to explain. I'm not sure I understand it myself. No force was involved unless I wanted it to be. If anything, Simon was gentleness itself - well, at least at the beginning. Which perhaps added to the thrill of it all: punishment and love, an irresistible combination. I suppose if I had to pick a time when it all started, it was when we were making love - well, having sex - oh, let's call it fucking - when Simon was fucking me missionary style. Which was enjoyable, don't get me wrong. I love his cock and I love it ...
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